Down below there was barely anyone waiting for the train since the last one was just pulling away.
But there, at the other end, were my parents hunched over my sister who was lying on the ground, convulsing. A few bystanders were gathered around, one of them looking like they were trying to help.
“Shit!” I yelled and I took off down the platform, Dex at my side.
When we got there, I could see her face had a blue-ish tinge and her eyes had rolled back in her head. She was shaking, a man with glasses and a beard was trying to keep her head up and supported while my mother and father knelt beside her, trying to understand. My mother was crying.
“What happened?” I screeched, falling to my knees in front of them.
My father could only shake his head. “I don’t know, we got off the train and then she screamed and just collapsed a few seconds ago, holding onto her head.”
My mother looked right at me, her eyes wild. “She said there was something in her head. That ‘it’ was in her head!”
My mouth felt like I had a wad of glue in it as I realized how true the horror was.
It happened to me, I told my mom in my head. I fought it off. I knew it was coming for you next. We tried to get here in time.
My mother nodded and looked up at Dex before turning back to Ada.
“What do we do?” my mother asked the man who was helping them.
He grimaced. “It’s a seizure. She should pull through, we just have to keep her comfortable and secure.” He nodded at another man who was running up the stairs. “My partner has gone to get help, call where there’s reception.”
My mom looked back at me. What do we really do?
I could only hear what Pippa had told me. Kill the body and the head will die. There was no way that was happening to her. It didn’t matter what the demon did once inside, what he’d make her do, no one was going to hurt my sister.
Your grandmother said that? My mom thought.
Maximus said something along those lines too, but don’t worry mom, no one is going to lay a hand on her. We’ll take her to see an exorcist, we’ll contact my friend Bird, we’ll make this work, we’ll fight this. If I have to go into the Veil again, I will.
“No!” my mother cried out loud. “It shouldn’t be you, it shouldn’t be anyone! You girls are my girls and you have too much to live for, to have to deal with this, it’s not fair!”
My father stared at her, worried by her sudden outburst.
And suddenly I was struck with the most dreadful feeling, like some other, heavier shoe was about to drop at any second. Heavier than what was happening to my little sister as she lay on the ground, writhing, battling something deep within her.
Dex must have felt it too. He was behind me, grabbing hold of my waist, as if to hold me back from something.
Ada suddenly sat straight up, looking straight at me with pure black eyes. We all saw it, all sucked in our breath, as she started laughing, a sharp, raspy laugh that wasn’t human.
My sister was gone. The demon in her place was alive.
“Damn you!” my mother bellowed, grabbing Ada by the shoulders and shaking her. “Damn you, damn you!”
My father grabbed her, trying to pull her off but my mother wouldn’t let go. “Damn you!” She screamed.
And at that moment, Ada smiled, pure evil, and my mom suddenly flew backward as if shoved by invisible hands. Ada’s eyes turned back to blue and she collapsed back to the ground.
I whirled around, about to help my mom up but when she looked at me she wasn’t her anymore. And then she was. And then she wasn’t. Her eyes alternated between obsidian and azure, her mouth between a grin and a cry.
I didn’t know what to do. I felt completely and utterly helpless, hopeless. I could only watch. My father stumbled to his feet to try and help her, while Ada slowly eased herself up, holding her head in pain.
My mother hit my father, sending him flying a few feet and in that moment I think he finally realized it wasn’t his wife. I think everyone realized that, even the man who was comforting Ada.
My mother turned to face me and I stared right back at those shark-like eyes, at a grin that wanted to eat me alive. A grin that said, “I won.”
I was barely aware of what else was going on around me. I know the platform was growing crowded with people watching, some of them filming it on their phones. I knew that a voice was on the loudspeakers. I knew a train was approaching, not stopping at this station, not slowing down, shaking the walls and filling our ears.
All that mattered was that the demon had won.
It hasn’t, my mom’s voice came through loud and clear and for one brief instance I saw her eyes go back to normal and fill with tears.
Before I knew what was going on, my mother turned and ran for the edge of the platform, toward the tracks.
I remember screaming. I remember trying to run after her, my arms outstretched, trying to reach her. I remember Dex holding me back while my heart was ripped out of me.
My mother jumped down into the train tracks.
One second later a passing train came through.
The whole platform seemed to scream. The wail of brakes came a moment after but what was the point in stopping. She’d already been killed. She was already gone.
And the demon was gone with her.
She just gave her life for her family.
And I had just lost my mom.
While I remembered the moments leading up to it, I barely remembered a thing afterward, just flashes here and there. I guess I was in shock. Police, EMTs, the place was crawling with them as Dex and the bearded man tried to explain what had just happened. Dex let the bearded man do most of the talking, because he was the sane one here. We all knew what happened, but it wouldn’t make any sense coming from us.
Ada had cried and screamed, violently, and my father retreated into himself. He was acting almost normal, falling back on denial. It got him through it but I could see the pain. There was going to be so much pain. My poor fucking dad. He didn’t understand any of this and yet this was his reality. It was my reality. His wife had just died in a horrific way and in his eyes, her actions were one of madness.
But I knew the truth. So did Ada. So did Dex. My mother gave it all up so that it wouldn’t take us. So that it would finally be gone. But of all the sacrifices that I’d seen in the last few days, this was one I understood and because of that, it hurt the most.
My mother and I had never been close. She’d always been cool and closed-off to me. She always looked down on me but I later realized it was only because she feared me. She feared that I was like her mother and, she knew, that she was the same as us. She was just better at hiding it, at pretending it didn’t exist.
But it did exist. And there wasn’t anything more noble than embracing that fact and using it the way she did.
What the fuck did I know though, about nobility? About sacrifice. We could all appreciate what someone gives up, the lengths that someone will go to for another. It touches us, makes us feel loved. But in the end, the sacrifice hurts. Because they did it for us and we may not be so deserving.
I certainly wasn’t the best daughter. I never even came close. I was bossy and bitchy, I was weird and demented. I was fat and drank and colored my hair a million Technicolor shades. I stayed out late in high school and skipped classes, I burned shit down, I was sent to a shrink, medicated, I hated life, hated myself, hated her, hated everyone. I did drugs and distanced myself from my family as much as I could. I had no self-esteem and I blamed everyone for everything.
My mother tried to do right, I know she did. But she just didn’t know how. Like Dex’s parents were afraid of him, my mother was afraid of me and where there is fear you can’t feel love. It doesn’t mean they didn’t love us, because they did. It just wasn’t shown so easily. It was fought for and I appreciated every time my mother fought to show me just how she felt. They were few and far between, at least I thought so. But when I looked back, I could see them there. It was like watching a movie for the second time and picking up on things you missed. It was there – it just needed to be found.
Grief is this thing, a hand of water that reaches into your lungs, and drowns you.
I drowned in my grief, as did everyone around me. If it wasn’t for Dex, lifting me out of it, and in time, lifting everyone else out, I don’t know what I would have done.
He may have not given his life again, but he saved me all the same.