Noah had gone into action, administering chest compressions and fumbling to dial 911 at the same time. A female dispatcher had picked up, and Noah had thought of the 911 tapes they played on the TV news, which Maggie always hated. That had been the moment he’d realized that the police were going to think he had killed Anna.
Noah had to admit, he’d been thinking of himself. That’s why he felt so guilty now. Even though he hadn’t committed the murder, he hardly felt innocent. Anna had been his first thought, but his second thought had been they are going to arrest me for this murder. He never would’ve thought that before the PFA hearing. Before then, he’d thought that law led to justice and good guys never got convicted. But he’d learned quite the opposite that day, because the judge was going to issue that PFA against him if they hadn’t settled it. And he would have been found to have sexually abused Anna, which he hadn’t done, either.
Noah had kept up the compressions, all the time looking around, paranoid, on alert, wondering who could’ve killed Anna, why, or if they were still around. Where they could’ve come from, and how. The lights had been on in his landlord’s house and in the house to the back, but it was another five hundred yards to the back neighbor’s privacy fence. Noah hadn’t seen anyone else, and there had been no other cars in the driveway, so somebody must’ve come on foot or gotten dropped off in a car.
Noah had kept the compressions going and tried to talk to the dispatcher, but all he could think of was they are going to arrest me for this murder. He had rushed the 911 operator off the phone and called Thomas, telling him everything that happened. Noah hadn’t been sure that even Thomas had believed him. They both had known the police were on the way and that Noah would be taken in for questioning. Thomas had told him what to do, but Noah started thinking about Maggie. Anna was dead, and it would kill Maggie. All she’d ever wanted was Anna, and now Anna had been murdered. Strangled. On his front porch. What would Maggie think? Would Maggie believe he hadn’t done it?
The police had arrived, Officers Simon and Pettigrew, and Noah had told them what Thomas had advised him to say, I came home, I found her here, and that’s all I know. And then after that, I’m not going to answer any further questions on the advice of counsel.
But all along, Noah had wished he could say the only thing that mattered to him. But he couldn’t.
I didn’t do it.
Chapter Sixty
Maggie, Before
Maggie hadn’t known it was possible to feel numb for hours, but it was. She felt numb all day Sunday, refusing to acknowledge to herself that she’d signed Anna’s PFA form, that Noah had molested Anna, or that she was going to be in court for a PFA hearing, caught in the middle between her husband and her daughter. Maggie went through the motions of her day, doing laundry, serving dinner, spraying countertops, and helping Caleb with his homework, then saying good night to Anna, who told her that she hadn’t heard about the hearing yet.
Maggie couldn’t bring herself to say, ‘Fingers crossed!’
By the next morning, Anna had gotten a lawyer, who called the law clerk of the emergency judge and got them a hearing, which found Maggie in a courtroom, unable to look at Noah sitting at counsel table, his face front. She continued to feel numb throughout Anna’s testimony, as awful as it was hearing what had happened. She listened as Noah testified, but even afterwards, she wasn’t sure who was telling the truth.
Afterwards, Anna’s lawyer had said that he believed the judge was going to issue a PFA Order against Noah, and Maggie had come to life. She couldn’t let it happen to Noah, but more importantly, she couldn’t let it happen to Caleb. The guilt, and the bullying, would have killed the boy. Maggie had persuaded Anna and her lawyer to let her broker a settlement, which Noah and his lawyer had accepted, then they’d all gone home. Separately.
Maggie didn’t go to work on Monday and she told them she was taking another week off, assuming that Noah would keep his mouth shut about the PFA hearing. She felt so lost, knocking around the empty house, taking Caleb to his speech pathologist, and trying to figure out how to tell him that Noah wasn’t at a medical conference, but was never coming home. She’d have to call a family lawyer and see if she had any rights to Caleb, whom she’d always intended to adopt, but hadn’t just yet. On Tuesday morning, Maggie walked with Kathy, but their Talk & Talk didn’t help the way it usually did. Kathy nagged her to call a therapist, but Maggie couldn’t make herself do it yet.
On Wednesday after dinner, Anna said she was going over to Samantha’s, driving the Range Rover alone for the first time. Maggie didn’t love the idea, but let her go and sat by herself in the family room with a novel open on her lap and the TV playing a Bravo Housewives reality show. Later, Maggie heard a car out front, assuming Anna was home in the Range Rover. She looked out the window, only to see a police cruiser parking in front of her house.
Maggie rose, alarmed. Anna was in an accident, she must have been in an accident, oh my God no, please no. She hurried to the front door, telling herself she was overreacting until she saw two policemen walking to her door. She knew from TV and movies that there was only one reason that police came to see you like that, but she couldn’t even hold that thought in her brain for very long, defaulting to a thousand possibilities. They must have the wrong house. They just want to tell me something. They’re collecting for that circus they do every year. They’re interviewing the neighbors. Maybe there’s a burglar in the neighborhood. It could be anything. Anna wasn’t in an accident. They could have the wrong house. It’s just some giant colossal mistake.
Maggie flung open the door. ‘Yes, hello, Officers.’
The policemen took off their caps, tucking them in the crooks of their arms. ‘Are you Mrs Ippoliti?’ asked the one officer, his voice gentle.
‘Yes, yes –’
‘We found your address on a temporary registration in a Range Rover, which is registered to one Anna Desroches. Do you know –’
‘Yes, that’s my daughter, is she okay?’ Maggie felt her throat constrict, she could barely get the words out. ‘She wasn’t in an accident, was she? Please tell me she’s okay. It’s a new car, and she hadn’t practiced –’
‘May we come in?’
Maggie gasped, this is really happening, and tears of fright sprang to her eyes. Somehow the police came in, and she sank onto the couch and the police asked if they could get her some water, but she shook her head no and tears spilled from her eyes before they could even tell her anything, and all she could keep saying, over and over, was I never should have let her buy the car, I never should have let her buy the car.
The police officers told her the unthinkable, that Anna had been murdered, that her body had been found at Noah’s, and that Noah had been taken in for questioning in the crime.
‘No, no, no!’ Maggie shouted, her thoughts flying. They were lying. Anna wasn’t dead. Noah didn’t kill her. There were so many lies in her life. This was the worst lie of all. It wasn’t true, it was a horrible, horrible lie. Her husband could never kill her own daughter. It wasn’t possible. How dare they.
Suddenly Maggie jumped up, seized the startled police officer by his arms, and started shaking him back and forth, a woman unhinged, desperate, out of her mind. His cap fell out from under his arm, and the other police officer intervened, trying to soothe and contain her, but Maggie flailed back, lashing out with her fists, but when they finally held her still, doubled over in tears, she emitted a scream she never heard coming from herself or any human, one so primal that Caleb had come racing downstairs wild-eyed.
‘Mag, Mag, what?’ Caleb screamed, already crying, stricken with fear.
‘Baby!’ Maggie cried out, to him, to Anna, to her tiny baby girl, it couldn’t be true, Anna couldn’t be dead, Noah couldn’t do such a thing, how could she tell Caleb that his father had killed Anna, it couldn’t be true, it just couldn’t.
Maggie collapsed to the floor with Caleb, hugging him tight as they cried together, clinging to each other until the police officers finally left, shaken and disturbed.