‘Yes.’ Kathy’s voice darkened. ‘What’s going on?’
‘I don’t know where to start,’ Maggie began, but tears came to her eyes. ‘I can’t say it.’
‘What do you mean? What is it?’
‘I can’t.’
‘Maggie. It’s okay. Whatever you did, I love you.’
‘It’s not me.’ Maggie wiped her eyes on her shirt. She had put on a blousy black top and black capris for the party, her Cool Mom Outfit. It seemed pathetic now.
‘What’s the matter, honey?’ Kathy’s tone softened.
Maggie prepared to say words she could never believe would come out of her mouth: ‘I think Noah may have molested Anna.’
‘What?’ Kathy gasped, shocked. ‘You can’t be serious.’
‘It’s so awful,’ Maggie found herself whispering. She couldn’t admit it aloud, even to herself.
‘Molested?’
‘Tried to kiss her and touch her breast, in the bathroom.’
‘No!’ Kathy gasped again.
‘Yes.’ Maggie was still whispering.
‘How do you know?’
‘I don’t for sure. But I think . . .’ Maggie swallowed hard, struggling to stay in emotional control. ‘I didn’t believe it myself. I wouldn’t have believed it. But then I got a text and he saw Jordan in Miami. He was in her hotel room.’
‘He saw her, the fetus?’ Kathy asked, in confusion.
‘Yes. He told me he didn’t see her but then she sent a text, and he had to admit that he lied.’
‘What does that have to do with Anna?’
‘Let me explain,’ Maggie said, launching into an account of everything that had happened, the words gushing as if she was bleeding them. She texted Kathy the photo of Noah in the hotel room, and after Kathy had gotten the photo, her tone hardened, which made Maggie’s chest tighter. ‘Kathy, you think he did it, don’t you? The picture convinced you, I can tell.’
‘I can’t believe this, and I didn’t, but this photo . . .’ Kathy let the sentence trail off.
‘What’s the matter with him?’ Maggie asked, anguished.
‘God knows. How’s Anna?’
‘Sleeping.’
‘Where’s Noah?’
‘I don’t know and I don’t care.’
‘And Caleb?’
‘Asleep. I’m hoping he didn’t hear anything. I’ll check on him later and tell him that Noah had to go in to work.’ Maggie edged forward on the chair, trying to collect her thoughts. ‘Do you think Noah would do something like that? To Anna?’
‘I wouldn’t have before, but I don’t think it’s impossible, not since I’ve seen that photo. Something must be going on with him.’
‘He tried to molest my daughter.’ Maggie rubbed her face, feeling a wave of pain. ‘I can’t let him back in the house.’
‘No, you can’t.’
‘I have to protect Anna. I owe her that, as my daughter.’ Maggie heard herself saying the unthinkable. ‘I don’t know what this means for me and Noah. For our marriage. I just can’t bring myself to believe he would do such a thing. Anna didn’t even tell me the first time it happened, at the driving lesson. She didn’t want to upset me. I don’t know if she would’ve said anything if he hadn’t tried it again.’
‘I’m glad she did, even though it’s awful.’
‘I am too.’ Maggie sighed, weepy. Heartbroken.
‘Even if he didn’t do it, you have to err on the safe side. He should move into a hotel or rent something, for a while. You need to get her to a therapist, and him too. Do you think he’ll agree to that?’
‘He has to. I’ll make it a condition to his coming home.’ Maggie couldn’t believe that her life had gone from blissful to disastrous in a single week. She held back her tears.
‘Maybe the pressure’s getting to him?’
‘What pressure? The pressure isn’t any different than it has been before.’
‘Maybe Anna moving in, or Mike, that patient he lost? Or is it his own grief, over Karen? Somehow it’s setting him off.’
‘Setting what off?’ Maggie racked her brain. ‘What if he just has a thing for younger women?’
‘Honey, I’m so sorry this happened. Do you want me to come over?’
‘No, thanks. I want to keep things as normal as possible here. I feel so terrible about Anna.’ Maggie felt tears coming back, but held them at bay. ‘She loses her father and reaches out to me and now look what happens. It’s so awful.’
‘I know, but you can’t help that. You didn’t do it.’
‘I brought her here. I thought everything would be so great.’
‘It’s not your fault.’
‘Remember I met with her therapist? I told her how great everything was going to be. This is so shameful.’
‘You didn’t know. You couldn’t know.’
‘What if I should have? What if this has been happening with him for a long time? What if Anna isn’t the first and neither is Jordan? I’m afraid to look at his computer but believe me, I want to.’
‘Don’t.’
‘Why not? I know his passcodes. He has them on a pad.’
‘What do you expect to find?’
‘Pornography? Pictures of young girls? Emails?’
‘Don’t, don’t, don’t.’
‘What if he goes online and meets young girls?’
‘If he does that, he’ll have deleted the history.’
‘You believe her then.’
‘I hate to say this, but I do.’
‘I do too,’ Maggie heard herself say, burying her face in her free hand. Agonized, she couldn’t speak for a minute. She didn’t know if Noah had committed a crime or not. She wondered if she needed a lawyer. She wondered if she should call the police. She would handle this the best way for Anna. That was her job as Anna’s mother, especially because she had let her down before.
‘You still there? I should come over.’
‘No, really.’ Maggie’s mind reeled. ‘How can I stay married to him?’
‘Honey, you’re going to have to take it a step at a time. If he wants to stay married to you, he’s going to have to do what you say.’
‘Right.’ Maggie told herself to take control of the situation. She couldn’t let it victimize her. Anna was the victim, after all.
‘You can do it.’
‘Can you believe he would do this? To Anna? To me? To this family? He’s destroying everything, everything.’
‘He’ll figure it out, with professional help.’
Maggie sighed. ‘I feel so tired.’
‘Go to bed. Call me if you need anything.’
‘I will. Thanks for everything. Love you, Kath.’
‘Love you too, honey. We’ll get through this. Sleep tight.’
‘You, too.’ Maggie pressed End, sat up, and glanced back at the house. The light was still off in Anna’s bedroom. Caleb’s light was off as well, so the second floor of the house was dark, the roof a shadowy outline against a dark sky. Clouds covered the moon, and there wasn’t a star in sight. Ambient light from the neighboring houses made a hazy glow in the air, and Maggie could hear televisions playing in other people’s family rooms.
She wondered how many of those families had such horror under their own roofs. She read about them in the newspaper and online. She never thought she would be one. In truth, she used to judge some of those mothers. How could you not know your teenage son stockpiled guns? How could you not know your daughter was pregnant? How could you not know? Only the terrible mothers didn’t know what was happening in their own homes.
Then Maggie realized that she had already been adjudicated a terrible mother.
Unfit, was what the court had said. And here she was now, unfit all over again, seventeen years later, unfit, unfit, unfit.
She looked up at the black sky without knowing why. An appeal to God? For guidance? For help? A silent prayer? For forgiveness? But all she saw was darkness. She rose on shaky knees and walked toward the house.
Because she was a mother, and she had a job to do.
Chapter Fifty-seven
Noah, After
TRIAL, DAY 2