Maddie fell silent again. She wasn’t rocking anymore. She clutched her pink poodle, stunned. Kate realized she was going into shock.
Kate gently pried the poodle from Maddie’s arms and listened to her heartbeat. She examined her pupils and took a pulse. She found an extra blanket, draped it over the girl’s trembling legs and made her drink some water. Finally, she asked, “Is there anything I can do to help? Would you like to talk about it?”
Maddie scooped up the poodle and resumed her anxious rocking. Then she started screaming.
Kate pressed the call bell for the nurses’ station, and Yvette came running with the choice of needle or pills. Maddie choked down two pills with a cup of water, then resumed her out-of-control screaming. Eventually she settled into a kind of rhythmic sobbing.
Kate sat with her until the weeping subsided and the medicine took effect. Ten minutes later, the girl’s pulse had resumed its natural rhythm, and she grew perfectly still.
Kate encouraged her to talk about everyday things in order to distract her. She touched the poodle’s fluffy ears and asked, “Is this new?”
Maddie nodded. “Dr. Ira gave it to me.”
“Dr. Lippencott?”
“He came to see me today. We talked about stuff.”
“You did?”
“I like him a lot. Do you like him?”
“Very much.”
“We’re going to talk every day from now on, he says.”
“You and Dr. Ira?”
Maddie nodded sleepily and closed her eyes, shutting out the world.
40
KATE BARGED INTO IRA’S office. He was seated behind his desk, going over some paperwork.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were taking over Maddie’s treatment?”
He looked up and gave a resigned sigh. “Have a seat, Kate.”
“Why wasn’t I consulted?”
“Sit,” he commanded.
She sat down.
The office smelled of wood polish. His inbox was stacked two feet high. He put down his pen and folded his hands on the desktop. “Did you break the sad news to our patient?”
Kate nodded. “Just now.” On the ride back to Boston, she’d informed Ira about Blackwood’s execution and Nelly’s murder, and they’d agreed she should be the one to tell Maddie.
“How’d she handle it?”
“She’s resting now.”
“Okay,” Ira said. “I just got off the phone with the McCormacks’ attorney. They’ve decided to file a lawsuit. Hopefully, it won’t get very far. Risk Management’s on the phone with them now, discussing the possibility of a settlement.”
Kate pinched the bridge of her nose.
“Bottom line? I want you to take some time off. That’s an order.”
She winced. “So you’re taking over Maddie’s case?”
“Temporarily. Until things settle down. It’s time to face facts, Kate. You’re under an enormous amount of pressure right now, and that’s precisely why we have vacation days and sick days. Understand?”
All Kate understood was that the hospital considered her a liability.
“How many vacation days have you accrued?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” she muttered. “Four or five.”
“Days?”
“Weeks.”
“Seriously?”
“They carry over.”
“Sheesh. You’re like a cyborg or something. Okay, you love to work, and that’s admirable. But what are you saving them up for? I shouldn’t have to twist your arm.”
“We’re in the middle of a crisis. I just told Maddie about her mother…”
“I have a question for you, Kate,” Ira interrupted. “Can you be an objective therapist right now? First you witnessed the execution of the man who killed your sister. Then you stumble across a murder… It’s too much.” He threw up his hands. “Do you realize how bad this looks? Do you understand the position you’ve put us in?”
“I can still be objective about my patients, Ira,” Kate insisted.
“Let’s be real.” He leaned forward. “You need to step away. Right now.”
Kate felt herself growing incensed. “Step away from what? Since when are we supposed to step away from our patients in the middle of a crisis? I just told Maddie her mother was dead; she needs me right now—”
“Kate. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
She covered her face with her hands and drew a deep breath. “Have you lost faith in me, Ira? Because if you don’t trust me anymore…”
He shook his head firmly. “I will never lose faith in you, Kate. I’m trying to help you.”
She nodded glumly.
“Okay. I want you to take a couple of weeks off starting today. Not six months from now.”
“What about my other patients?”
“I’ve asked Yvette to redistribute your appointments, and she just cleared your calendar. As of this moment, you’re free.”
“Free,” she repeated dully.
“Come back to us refreshed and relaxed. I won’t be assigning you any new cases until things have settled down. Let’s start with two weeks and see where we are. We can always extend it to four if necessary.”
“Four?” Kate said. “Am I being forced out, Ira? Tell me the truth.”
He leaned forward and lowered his voice. “Just the opposite. I’m trying to keep you here.”
“Really? Because it feels like I’m being kicked out.”
“Let’s just avoid stirring things up until we get this lawsuit sorted, okay? Rather than getting tangled up with another disturbed girl and her murdered mother.” He softened his tone. “Look, sometimes we need our friends to remind us that we’re only human.” He smiled encouragingly at her. “It’s not such a terrible thing, is it? A little R&R?”
“I guess not.”
“Go home. We’ll talk again in two weeks. See where we are.”
41
KATE WENT HOME, UTTERLY exhausted. Ira was right. She was a self-admitted workaholic who didn’t know how to relax. She’d gotten herself in too deep. She shouldn’t have accepted Maddie Ward as a patient. Maybe this was a chance to regain control of her life.
She stood in front of the living-room windows and watched the dying sunlight glint in the icicles on the rooftops across the street. She craved a cigarette and needed a distraction. James would be home soon, the first time in three days. She suddenly realized how much she’d missed him. She found her mother’s cookbook and decided to surprise James with a gourmet meal. Something French and Julia Child-ish.
That night, they made love.
*
James was gone early the next day, back to Massachusetts General. Kate wandered the condo restlessly until, at lunchtime, unable to bear the aimlessness any longer, she decided to drive to the hospital to pick up some files. She might as well catch up on some paperwork while she was on the bench.
As she was gathering what she needed, she noticed that the jar of peanuts was gone. She looked around the office, rummaged through her desk drawers, even checked the wastebasket. Nothing. The peanuts had vanished.
Kate, like most of her peers on the third floor, never locked her office door, since this wing of the hospital was restricted access only. She rubbed the gooseflesh off her arms and glanced around as if the peanuts might magically reappear. Her frustration turned to anger. She stepped out into the corridor and called, “Hey, guys? Has anybody been in my office recently?”
Heads popped out of doorways.
“Have you seen someone go into my office? Spence? Raj?”
Her colleagues shook their heads. “No, Kate. Sorry.”
“What about Jerry?” she asked.
They shrugged. “Don’t think so.”
She thanked them and hurried down the hallway to Jerry’s corner office.
“Did you take those peanuts out of my office?” she asked him heatedly.
“Peanuts? What peanuts?” His face was as round as an old-fashioned clock, with two small wet eyes.
“Come on, Jerry. Admit it.”
“Admit what?”
“That jar of roasted peanuts. Very funny.”
“Sorry.” Jerry shrugged. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“A jar of peanuts showed up in my office one day, and now they’re gone.”
“Wow. Nuts? That’s lame.”