The Apocalypse

Chapter 36

Neil

Illinois River



The zombie straddling Neil Martin once had a name: Miss Kennedy, and she once had an occupation: pre-school teacher. Now she opened her mouth wide and bit down into his neck.

That he would scream was no wonder; that he would live for a while longer was, however. The zombie pre-school teacher ripped her head back and forth while Neil yelled himself hoarse and then with a shearing noise, she pulled back, chewing on a mouthful of flesh.

Beneath her, Neil coughed and sputtered and spat out the maggots and all the while watched in fascination as Miss Kennedy chewed and chewed on the flesh—it was skin actually. And it was the skin of a long dead cow. She had torn off the collar of his leather coat.

For a long time she worked her jaws on that leather and all the while Neil only laid there hoping she would either go away or choke on it. She did neither. She only chewed and stared at nothing beyond the river. Finally, when Neil couldn't stand it any longer, he threw the preschool teacher off of him with heroic strength, and grabbed up his axe. Now she came alive, in the sense that she wanted to kill, but Neil was ready for her this time and dashed in her skull, and she went back to being dead.

After this battle, he went to the river and shook with adrenaline, while he vomited. Later he picked a maggot out of his teeth and vomited again, though in truth he mostly just dry heaved and belched loudly.

“Thank God no one saw that,” he whispered, picking up his bow and pulling the stray arrow from a hillock of river grass. He then looked down at the dead woman and said, “I think when I tell that story, you'll be an iron worker instead. With big muscles...and a black beard.”

When the woman just lay there with her face in the wet sand he left her and continued down river, wishing that he was done with zombies for the day. It was a silly thing to wish for—the next house had them like a dog has fleas. And then he came to a loop in the river and found at least a hundred lined up at the water's edge as if waiting for a bus. This forced him to skirt far around and yet the detour had its benefits.

First he found an entire field of broccoli sitting there ready to be harvested. He filled his backpack with the greenest of the lot and then walked away eating and burping—broccoli always made him gassy. He then came upon a row of trees next to a dirt road and laughed when he saw they were apple trees.

“It is apple picking weather,” he said as he dumped out half the broccoli from the backpack. “I bet Sadie would love this. And Sarah as well.” He thought of the two women until the pack became uncomfortable to carry.

A while later, as he angled west over open fields, he found the river again and after a few miles of solid walking, he found a boat. It was a dinky little tin thing, or so it appeared with its metal hull, rusting and grey. The nose of the boat had caught on a little sand bar seventy feet out into the wide river and Neil didn't hesitate. He stripped down to his shivering flesh, fearing that the water would grow deep at points, and waded in.

The water did indeed go deep and he swam nervously as the current swept him away from the boat, though he did manage to find the bottom with his feet at the far end of the sand bar. This allowed him to struggle up onto the little island and once upon it he rushed bent over and holding himself against the cold until the boat was laying there at his feet.

It had a motor and everything. Excitedly he pulled it further onto shore so that it wouldn't try to get away, and then he hunkered down, peering at the motor. Gleefully he saw that a key wouldn't be needed—there was a toggle that said: On and Off, and a handle like one would find on a lawnmower. Without hesitation he flicked the switch and pulled the cord.

It made a sad little noise, like a burp from a cow, and would not catch. Neil checked the gas and saw that it was mostly full. So what was the problem? The choke! There was a little knob on the engine low down. This he twisted full over and pulled again on the cord.

Now the engine caught and rumbled nicely. Neil turned the choke down and got in the metal boat after giving it a shove into the river. This was better! He chugged the boat back to shore where he quickly put on his clothes.

“Oh the girls will be so happy,” he said, shivering in the back of the boat as he continued on his way. A boat by itself didn't mean all that much. He still needed gas for it and supplies in general. These were quick in coming, now that he could travel faster.

The very next house was zombie free, though he didn't take chances and snuck up on it ninja-like going from bush to tree in short bursts. Again it had been gone over by someone very thoroughly, but even the best searchers could overlook many items. The car in the garage had been drained of gas, however the riding mower sitting right next to it was full.

Using a garden hose he siphoned out almost four gallons of gas that he put in an orange bucket. Next he dared the awful smell of the refrigerator and discovered a jar of jelly that hadn't been opened, and in the laundry room he found candles and flashlights. Though it was in a girl's bedroom that he found the best items: shoes, clothing, and pop tarts.

The girl who had once lived there wore a size six shoe, which seemed about right. Neil compared the shoes to his feet and thinking that Sarah's were a little smaller than his own he decided to keep the ones that seemed the most practical. He then made a quick run through of the closet and picked out the most conservative clothing, while he took almost all of the panties and socks.

He has no idea if the bras would work for either of the two women under his care—this is how he viewed them, despite that Sadie was very capable and Sarah had already saved him once—so he took the bras as well, and that was when he saw the silver glint of the pop tarts at the bottom of the drawer. Six packages all told.

“Oh, Sadie will love this,” he said, carefully wrapping the prize in a towel. “Though I don't know about Sarah. She seems a little too sophisticated for pop tarts. Still beggars can't be choosers.”

As almost every house did in that part of the country there was an out building nearby. This one was a storage unit for farm equipment with a chicken coop attached. Not knowing what chickens ate, and hoping it was sunflower seeds are something palatable like that, Neil went to the low storage bins next to the coop.

There were two and the first had its lock knocked off. Inside was chicken feed, the smell of which turned his stomach. Fully expecting the second to be more of the same, he took a stone that had been holding down a loose section of the chicken wiring and smashed at the lock. It held against his feeble strength however the hasp did not and with some twisting he was able to open the bin.


“Winner, winner, chicken dinner,” Neil breathed at the sight of eleven plastic five gallon water containers. One was already open and after giving it a sniff, he drank, feeling the water run down his insides. It was glorious.

With this find, he decided he had enough supplies to justify going back to what, in his mind, he called home. Lugging everything to the boat was a matter of some minutes, nearly an hour and this was less than the time it took to chug gently back up stream. He didn't hurry. The faster he made the boat go the more sound it made and he didn't want to alert the entire zombie population of southern Illinois and have them follow him back.

He figured he was in for a hero's welcome and he grinned confidently as he shouldered the first of his back packs—he had three of them--took a five gallon water container in one hand and the axe in the other. Then, remembering the fiasco in the barn, he put everything down again and strapped the rifle across his shoulder...Sarah didn't know him very well and probably worried more over the fate of her M16 than over Neil.

Hoisting his burdens once again he went up the incline to the house and stepping through the open front door said, “Ta-duh!”

There was no one there to see his big entrance and feeling let down and a little arm weary, he put the water by the door and called, “Sadie? Sarah?”

“I'm in here,” Sarah said from the back room. Neil happily turned in that direction and spoke just as someone came down the hall.

“You have to see...” Neil began.

It wasn't Sarah at all. It was a zombie with hair curlers and a muumuu that matched the one Sadie had been wearing. It was a big zombie as well and Neil squawked in fright and ran back the way he had come. He had left the axe and the M16 lying on the living room couch and it was a heated mental struggle for Neil to pick up the axe and not the gun...the zombie woman, though alone, was that big.

Still she was a waddler and a slow one at that, giving Neil ample time to swing his axe. Horribly it got stuck in the woman's immense pumpkin head and was wrenched out of his hands as she crashed to the floor.

“Oh, that's gross,” he moaned, feeling his stomach turn flops as he worked the axe head back and forth. Suddenly Sarah was there, looking dainty in her summer dress.

“Did you get both of them?”

Neil froze. “Both?”

The second one came out of the garage just then and Sarah pointed behind Neil. They ran—Sarah back to the bedroom and Neil, because the axe was still stuck in old pumpkin head, into the dining room where he and the zombie played a game of tag around the long polished table. Finally Neil knocked over a chair and when the zombie went down he grabbed another and bashed the thing repeatedly until it stopped moving.

“Oh my, that was close,” he said, shaking again for the second time that day. “It's dead, Sarah. I killed it.” Again he was hoping for a better reaction than the one he received. She scampered into the hall, looked around and then went to the living room where she took up the M16 and pointed it straight at his chest.

“Huh?” Neil said.

“Put the chair down and get your hands up,” Sarah ordered.

Neil did, more confused than afraid. “I say again, huh? Why are you doing this?”

She stared at him for a few seconds and then let the gun sag. “Sadie tried to kill me. She sicced those stiffs on me. I swear she did. A little while ago, she was out in the rain and then she comes in, says something about checking the garage and goes through there. The next thing I know these two stiffs come walking in. She led them in here!”

“It had to be an accident,” Neil said. He went to the big, muumuu-wearing zombie, worked the axe out of its head and went to the garage, again more worried for Sadie than afraid of Sarah who had resumed pointing the gun at him. “Sadie?” he said in a low voice. The garage was dark and silent. “Hello? Sadie?”

When no one answered he went to the side door, a stiff aluminum piece and opened it, flooding the room with grey light. Sadie wasn't in sight. “You see?” Sarah said. “She came in. Led the stiffs right to me and walked out that door.”

“Then where is she? And why would she do this? Did you two have a fight?”

“No. We were just talking and poking around. She went back out to the barn and the next thing I know she walks these two in here and leaves me stranded.”

It was impossible for Neil to believe that Sadie would do this. In a growing heat, he marched out to the barn and nearly walked right into two more stiffs. One was right there around the corner of the red building and Neil hewed it down with a single stroke and was quite proud of himself. The other was staring up at the loft with its mouth open, as if hoping that a human would just fall into it. Neil konked that one as well.

“Sadie! What are you doing?” he demanded, he knew she was up there because the ladder had been drawn up. “Sarah seems to think that you tried to kill her.”

“I don't want to talk about it,” she said. “Not right now.”

“No, that won't do at all,” Neil said. “Aren't you even worried about her? She could be dead for all you know and you're acting like this. Like a child!”

“I'm not. I can see her right through the cracks. And I heard you two talking, before. So I knew she was alright and I knew she would be alright in the house. We talked about how heavy the master bedroom door was.”

“So you did plan this!” Sarah yelled. “Come down here right now young lady.”

“No,” Sadie whispered. “Maybe you two should go on without me.”

“That's not going to happen either,” Neil said. Sarah made a noise that suggested she thought it was very likely going to happen. He ignored her. “Come on down or I'll build a pyramid of these bales to come up there.”

“They're too heavy for you,” Sarah said. “I know from experience, hay bales weigh a ton.”

Suddenly Sadie appeared looking down with her bangs swaying from her forehead. “If Neil says he can do it then he can. He's stronger than he looks.”

“Then let him,” Sarah replied. “Go ahead Neil.”

Sadie glared once and then disappeared again, leaving Neil even more bewildered. “What is this about, Sadie? I thought you liked Sarah.”

“I do, it's just she's practically blind!”

Sarah's anger softened a little. “What am I blind to?”

When Sadie hesitated, Neil spoke, “If we're missing something, you have to tell us. You just can't lash out. Now come on down and we'll talk about it. And I got a boat, with a motor and gas and everything. We could take it right down the Mississippi if we wanted to. I just want you to be there when we go. What do you say?”

“Can I talk to Sarah alone?” Sadie asked. “This is between us, Neil. So if you could wait back in the house...”

“No, that's not how we're going to do this,” Neil replied stepping back so he could see the teen better. “We three need to be a team...that is if you want to?” he said this to Sarah. It wasn't really something they had talked about.

“Before I say yes, we need to hear what she has to say. And I want the full truth. Half-truths will breaks up a part just as sure as outright lies will. Can you be truthful with me, Sadie?”

“Yes,” Sadie said in a low voice. “You don't see Neil like I do. You don't see his good qualities.” Sarah looked at Neil, who only shrugged, not knowing what good qualities he possessed that either of them had seen yet.


“I'm looking at him right now,” Sarah said, looking his way. “And I do see his good qualities. He's a nice guy. And he's...”

Sadie interrupted, “No, he's not a nice guy. He hates being called that. Neil is smart and brave, and he's loyal to those people he cares for. He did everything he could to get those soldiers to let me stay on that Island, even though he knew they'd never take him.”

“It was a mistake to even try,” Sarah said. Her words were harsh, but that only set Sadie off some more.

“You see, Neil? She won't understand. I'm trying but she's got her own shit to worry about. She'll never understand you, like I do.”

Neil grabbed his hair and pulled at it in frustration. “Are you saying you like me, Sadie? I'm sorry but that wouldn't be right...”

“No. I don't like you like that. I just want Sarah to.” A lull of thick silence followed the statement and as it went on Sarah and Neil only stared at each other not knowing what to say. After a bit, Sadie spoke again, “I let those zombies into the house so that you could save her. So that she could see your brave side. So that she could see you as a good man and not a nice guy. She only thinks you're sort of goofy and I hate that.”

“I don't think that at all,” Sarah said, looking stricken over the accusation, yet at the same time Neil could see her searching for something nice to say about him. “Really, you're a...”

Neil shook his head. “Don't. Just don't.” He went to the door of the barn and looked out at the cold day. The rain had picked up again which made him realize that his precious gas was only covered by a ratty shirt he had found in the bottom of the boat. “I got work to do,” he said and left.

“Neil, please,” Sarah called, hurrying after him, her feet still bare despite the cold. “We have to talk.”

He kept walking, his anger large in his mind as a way to compensate for his mortal embarrassment. Of course as a “Nice Guy” he did his best to hide his true feeling because that's what nice guys did. “Sadie is just mixed up,” he said. “It's not her fault so please don't take it out on her. We should just do our best to keep an eye on her.”

“Yes I agree, but I wanted to talk about us,” Sarah said, stepping around the rocks and larger puddles. “It's not a good time for me. I just lost my parents and you know...”

“Why are you telling me this?” he asked cutting right across her, his anger now growing so great that even his vaunted niceness wasn’t covering it any longer. “I didn't ask you out, did I? I'm sorry if you think I'm pining away for you, but I'm not. And I don't have a crush on you and I definitely am not doodling your name on my damned notebook in 5th period, so don't give me that crap about it not being a good time for you, because we both know it would never be a good time for you!”

“I know, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that, but Sadie put me on the spot and I just wanted to be clear.”

Neil had been marching angrily back to the boat and now he climbed in and stood there looking at everything, seething as the rain pelted him, but as always his inherent niceness pushed its way forward and kept him from exploding on her in his rage. Yet he did sneer, “You were clear alright. Is this how you were back in the old days? Did you walk around telling men not to bother before they even knew your last name? I have to say, cutting a man off preemptively when he wasn't even going to ask you out is kind of rude, if you must know. Especially as the thought never even crossed my mind. Which it didn't.”

Sarah hung her head and the rain dripped from her nose and even as mad as he was, Neil had to resist wiping the drops away, or giving her his coat. “Sorry,” she said again. “I guess that wasn't very nice of me.”

“It happens, right? We all have our moments,” Neil replied, regretting having made her upset, turning back into the nice guy just like that. He gave her a smile to show there weren't any hard feelings. “We have to make sure Sadie is clear on all of this: You don't like me in that way and I don't like you in that way. Not at all. Here, this is for you.” He reached into the bottom of the boat and handed her one of the backpacks. “It's just some shoes and some clothes and some grape jelly I thought you would like...and some more of that perfume you were wearing. It's nothing really.”