Chapter 8
Xeraspent much of the afternoon in turmoil. She hadn’t wanted Ryven tokiss her. She was afraid of what would happen now.
Hehadn’t given her any hints when he’d taken her back to herapartment and left her there, and he hadn’t tried to touch her.Whatever his plans were, they didn’t involve leaping on her theinstant they were near a bed.
Shehated that she’d responded to his kiss. Was she so desperatelylonely that she’d give in to the first man who touched her? Wouldshe have been the same if Toosun had done it, or Captain Khan?
Okay,she thought with a return of sanity, she definitely wouldn’t haveencouraged Khan. She had no good answer for Toosun, partly becauseshe had the feeling that she wasn’t going to have any choice evenif he had been the one to pick her. Whatever was going to happen withRyven was going to be his will. She wasn’t going to be consulted.
Thehorrible thing was, she wanted what he wanted to do with her, but shenever would have chosen him. She didn’t know him enough to trustthat he wouldn’t hurt her. And what about her heart? She’d die ofshame if he tried to make her his mistress. She’d been raised in avery conservative society and hadn’t shaken the moral convictionsshe’d been taught. She couldn’t sleep with a man who wasn’t herhusband.
Butshe couldn’t marry him! She was already courting disaster forhaving attacked her captain. If he were traded back in negotiations,his story of events would get out. If she became married to Ryvenshe’d definitely be branded a traitor. She didn’t want hersisters to believe that of her.
Namaerescued Xera from her agonizing self-absorption that afternoon withanother intense grooming session. This one included a massage, somepainless and permanent hair removal, a facial and more hand and foottherapy. It was a marvelous distraction and ate up what might havebeen a horrendous wait. She started to get a clue that Namae knewmore about her schedule than she did when the young woman pulled outan apple-green gown of heavy, embroidered silk and said it would beperfect to wear to dinner with the Lord Governor.
“Dinner?”Xera asked uncertainly. “We just had lunch.”
Namaesmiled. “It is an honor, and an excellent sign. It’s good that helikes you.”
Xerasupposed it was better than being stored in the dungeon, but shestill worried. “Are married couples here monogamous?” Shedidn’t know the Scorpio word for monogamous and used her own.
Namaefrowned over the unfamiliar word.
Annoyedat herself, Xera tried again. “On my world, married couples arefaithful to each other. They don’t share themselves with anyoneelse.”
Astartling pallor iced Namae’s cheeks. She wouldn’t meet Xera’seyes. “It is that way here also, mistress,” she said quietly.
Concerned,Xera got to her feet and put a supporting arm around the servant.“What is it? Are you ill? Here, sit down.” She sat the reluctantwoman down in her vacated chair.
“I...Ishouldn’t be here. I should go,” Namae protested. “You areright; I have no business being in a respectable home.”
“Whatare you talking about?” Xera demanded. “There’s nothing wrongwith you. At least, nothing a shot of brandy won’t fix.” Shelooked around, mentally cursing the lack of liquor. She hadn’tlanded on a dry planet, had she? She’d grown up in a bar thatserved the best liquor on her planet. To suddenly come against aproblem that clearly called for whiskey and be dry...her sisterswould be horrified.
Cometo think of it, she could use a drink herself. Maybe she’d have arequest of old Ryven after all.
Namaewas sobbing now, her face in her hands. Desperate to help, Xera tookcharge the only way she knew how. She said briskly, “All right,that’s enough! Sit up here and let’s talk about this. Obviouslyyou’ve kept it bottled up long enough.”
Namaeobediently sat up. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I feel soashamed.” Tears threatened again.
“Justtalk about it,” Xera urged her. “Tears might make medissolve into a clone of my sister, and trust me, you don’t want tosee that.” Not that there was anything wrong with her sibling’scalm, take-charge attitude, but Xera had spent years trying to bedifferent from her older sister. The thought of becoming her wastruly abhorrent, like becoming a copy of one’s mother.
Namaelaughed at Xera’s desperation, then sobered. “I was involved inadultery,” she explained.
“You,Namae? I just can’t picture that,” Xera said, looking over theelegant young lady. “I can see how seriously you take your duties.I can’t imagine you’d be any different in a marriage.”
Namaegave a watery sigh. “It was not by choice. My brother-in-law forcedhimself on me when my husband was away. He came home as Myg wasfinishing. I...” Namae looked close to weeping again. “Tovarkwould not believe me.”
Xerawas outraged. “What! Was he stupid? They were lucky you didn’tkill them both.”
Asound that was half-laugh, half sob broke from her. “I am not awarrior like you, and I was hurt. My heart...it broke. Mygsaid I had seduced him and my husband believed him. He spit on me andwalked away.”
Xeracould only shake her head. “What about your family?”
“Iwent to them for help,” Namae said, valiantly calming herself. “Myfather and brothers were outraged, and my mother and sisters held me.My brother took the matter to the judges, who ruled against mybrother-in-law. He was sentenced to death. My husband was disgustedwith me over the death of his brother and still believed me to be aliar. The courts granted him a divorce. My brothers cheered, and myfather agreed it was for the best, but—oh! The shame of it! To be adivorced woman is almost unbearable. I have no more honor. I amtreated as so lowly, so….”
“Nonsense!”Xera cried, unable to stand the woman belittling herself. “You wereattacked! You were wronged! This is not your fault.”
“Itdoesn’t matter,” Namae said in a choked voice. “You do notunderstand my world.”
Xerastood up and gestured as she spoke. “I understand what honor is! Iunderstand that your family is behind you, and that’s what matters.Better yet, you get behind you, Namae! You’re somebodyspecial, somebody important. You deserve to walk down the street withyour head high, and damn anyone who looks down on you.”
“That’s what we’ve been telling her,” a voice spoke into thepause.
Xerawhipped her head up. Ryven stood in the doorway, and in a flash, sheunderstood. “You’re her brother.”
“Yes.”
Confused,she looked at Namae. “Then why...?”
“It’stime to go,” Ryven said quietly. “I like your hair down. Thebraids look nice.” Namae had braided strings of milky crystals intothe short hair, making it glow.
She’dalso slipped away while Xera wasn’t looking. Ryven answered herquestioning look by gesturing her to come to him. When she was closeenough, he took her arm and murmured softly, “She does not wish tobe a part of the family yet.”
Dismayed,Xera looked in question at him.
“Wetried to force her at one time, but she only withdrew more deeply.She has gotten better with time. I am hopeful she will take herproper place again soon.”
“Howlong has it been?” Xera asked softly as they left the room. Theworld didn’t need to know their conversation.
Amuscle in his jaw tightened. “Two years.”
“Didyou beat up her husband?” Xera asked, feeling bloodthirsty. PoorNamae!
Helooked straight ahead. “Something like that.” She looked at himlong enough that he finally answered. “We broke him financially,gelded him socially. He will not be taking another gentle girl towife.”
Hm.Not as grisly as she’d envisioned, but poetic. “It might’vebeen nice to have brothers.”
Hesmiled at her. “You would keep a brother busy. Who is in yourfamily?”
“Sisters.”She didn’t want to talk about them right now, though. “Are thingsreally as bad as Namae says? Could she remarry?”
Hefrowned thoughtfully. “Could she? Yes. Would her situation beforgotten if she did? Yes. It would take a special man to woo her,though. I think she protects her heart by hiding away. There are manywho would have her, but she will not see it. Also, there are few ourfamily would countenance. Many would marry her for the prestige ofthe social connection. After the last time, Namae will look to us forguidance before she chooses a man.”
“Youdidn’t like the first one?”
“Despisedhim. She was youngest, though, and spoiled. She would not hear no.”He was quiet for a moment. “She has matured much since then.”
Hopingto change the sad subject, Xera said, “She mentioned a mother andsisters.”
“Ourmother died of an illness some months after Namae’s divorce. Wehave three sisters, all younger than me.”
“Bigfamily,” she said, impressed. “Toosun’s younger than you, too.I hope they plagued you as children.”
His look was reproving, but a glint of humor sparked those brimstoneeyes. “Your hopes were fulfilled, but sadly, you will not bemeeting my sisters tonight. My aunt has come, though. You will judgeif she is torment enough.”
Hiswords made her expect a dragon, and the woman Ryven introduced her towas formidable. The Lady Tessla was a silver-haired dowager with anupright carriage and a timelessly beautiful face. Her teal and silverrobes were immaculate and draped a slender figure. Though obviouslyin her fifties (more noticeable by bearing than any age in her skin),she moved like a dancer, every move unconsciously graceful. Shewas gracious, though, and quickly put Xera at ease.
Theywere seated across a low table with cushions for chairs. Gauzyfabrics draped the ceilings, lending colorful shadows to the inlaidstucco walls. Little globe oil lamps in swirling, colored glass lentatmosphere to the party of four. Xera was a little surprised to seeLord Atarus reclined on a cushion. She hadn’t expected it of him,nor the informal atmosphere.
“You are very beautiful to have been unmarried for so long,”Tessla observed. “Is it common to remain unwed so late in life onyour planet?”
Xerablinked. It wasn’t often she was called attractive, let alonebeautiful, but the Lady also implied she was a delicacy that had beenheld in the oven too long. It threw her. “It can be. Even if I wereconsidered more than average on my world, I’d still have chosen toexplore a career. I wasn’t happy in the family business.”
“Howdid your mother and father feel about letting you go?” Tessla askedcuriously.
“Myparents are dead. My eldest sister resisted my leaving for a longtime, but we had a rule about dreams. She let me go to pursue mine.”
Tesslaraised a brow. “Hm. Would she be happy to see you here now?”
Xeraconsidered that. “She’d have some words for me. Ever since mymiddle sister ran off and got married without her permission, she’sbeen a bit touchy about being out of the loop; not informed,” sheexplained. “She made me promise not to....” She trailed off,unwilling to complete the thought. Her smile died.
“Whatdid you promise?” Tessla prompted gently.
Eyesstill on the memory of her sister, Xera said softly, “I swore Iwouldn’t get married without telling her.”
Therewas silence at the table. Xera took a deep drink of her beverage.Turned out they did have booze here after all.
“Well,then. You must keep your promise.”
Uncomprehending,Xera looked up. “What?”
Theaunt looked at Ryven and his father. “She must keep her promise.She has given her word.”
LordAtarus frowned and opened his mouth.
“Iagree.”
Xeralooked at Ryven in shock. His eyes were on his father. “It’spossible. She doesn’t have to meet in person. A video conferencewould suffice.” He looked calmly at Xera. “It is knowledge sheneeds, yes? You don’t require permission.”
“N-no,”she stuttered, shocked by this turn of events. She never expected tobe allowed to keep her word. That they would go to this length toallow her to do so....she was going to owe them. Big time. But… “Ihadn’t planned to marry for some years yet.” It was the closestshe could come to a protest. By law and custom, she was still awarprize. Though she’d been treated very well, she still knew thatRyven considered her life his to do with as he pleased. It wasobvious that his father and aunt were of the same mind. Pitching afit over it would only demean her in their eyes. She was beinghonored, she thought with inner rebellion. She must behave.
Herwords were ignored.
“Verywell,” Lord Atarus said at length, as if she’d never spoken. Helooked rather grumpily at his son. “It will delay events, though.Wedo not have a communication relay set up that can bounce a messagethat far. One will have to be set up. It will take time. There isalso the issue of security; pin beams are not the most secure ofmedia. Something will have to be done about that.” “Yes,” Ryvensaid calmly. “I will bear the expense. It will be my bride gift.”
Hisfather sighed. “It will be arranged, then.”
Xerastared at them until she remembered herself. “Thank you.The LGnodded regally, and then returned to his dinner with an air ofresignation. Ryven merely inclined his head.
Xeracouldn’t eat, so she sipped her drink instead. Turmoil whipped herheart into a storm. She thought she’d never see her sisters again,never speak to them. The chance to tell them she was alive, was okay,was a golden gift. She didn’t ask for more, didn’t even hope. Sheunderstood these people more every day, knew what a concession she’dbeen given. Even aside from the distances involved, there was thepolitical hostility.
Shedidn’t want to think too deeply on it, but she knew their plans forher. They wouldn’t let her go. What she didn’t understand waswhy. Why her? Ryven was the son of a powerful family, and quite aforce in his own right. Surely he could have any one of dozens ofwomen.
Sheglanced up as the Lord Governor’s words caught her ear.
“Yourbrother has made my heart glad. This promotion he’s earned is justthe thing.”
Ryvengrinned. “I see how you are. If your sons make commander you thinkyou will see marriage in their near future.”
Hisfather looked pleased with himself. “My theory would seem to havemerit. Once you stop thinking of your careers, other needs hold yourattention.” He glanced at Xera, transparently pleased. “He leaveson his first mission shortly. Make no mistake; his mind will turn toa wife of his own once the thrill has settled. It is the next greatchallenge.”
Xerastudied her drink, faintly annoyed at being classified as achallenge. To her mind it was no reason to get married.
“Come,my dear,” Tessla interrupted her thoughts. “They’ve degeneratedinto discussing starship specifications, and you look as bored as Iam. We will take a walk and I will show you around the staterooms.”The men nodded congenially to the women and went back to theirdiscussion.
Thefloors were all tiled in marble or elegant woods. Long drapes of silkand velvet framed the arches between rooms, dampening sound andgiving the rooms an inviting, exotic look. There was a great deal ofstained glass art and lamps, interspersed with scrolled metalwork inthe style of wrought iron. Portraits and landscapes hung on the wallsin gilded frames, inviting Xera to stop and look. A particularlyarresting one made her pause and study it. The landscape had beenpainted at sunset, with the light glinting off the lake. It wasn’tlight in full bloom, but the last throes of dying sun that castshadows on the mansion in the center. It managed to be poignant andmoody, beautiful and exciting at the same time.
“Thisis amazing,” she said at last, aware that the aunt was watchingher. “Caught between the old and new, life and dying. I feel so sadfor the past, yet hopeful for the future when I look at it. I didn’tknow a painting could say so much.”
“Thankyou,” Tessla murmured. “It took me days to find just the rightlight to portray the mood.”
Surprised,Xera sent her a questioning look.
“Ofcourse it is my work. I have done several of the portraits here.”
“You’revery talented,” Xera said honestly. “I wish I could capturefeelings like that.”
“Haveyou ever tried it? Art, that is.”
Xeralaughed. “I don’t think I have that kind of talent. To be honest,I never tried. I was always better at physical things.”
“Dancing?”
“Nevertried it. Martial arts were more interesting. Seemed more pertinentto my future, too.”
“Hm.You will try the dancing now, then. I will arrange for you to viewseveral different styles. It is best not to let a figure as trim asyours waste away for lack of exercise.”
Remindedof her present situation, Xera’s mood dimmed.
TheLady looked at her knowingly and linked their arms. She led Xera to asmall alcove and bade her sit. “Come. We will speak of this thing.You have no female elder of your family here to advise you, so I willlisten and tell you my thoughts.”
Itwas a generous offer, even if it was, like so many of the Scorpiostatements, voiced as a command. Xera decided to take advantage ofit. “Why does he want to marry me? Surely there are lots of willingwomen here.”
TheLady smiled. “This is the heart of your confusion? You have notasked him, then?”
Xeragrimaced.
“Verywise,” the Lady agreed sagely. “Men do not know their ownfeelings. I do know his father is delighted he has finally chosenanyone. He has despaired for years of seeing his son wed. Theman is obsessed with seeing grandchildren, though of course he wantshis son happily settled as well. For years he has shoved young womenunder Ryven’s nose, until he finally realized he was killing hisown cause. Ryven has been more inclined to choose his own women, andnot for honorable purposes. You were right in saying he has hispick.”
Xeralooked down, embarrassed.
“Itell you this only that you may understand what an...interestingthing it is that he has brought you here to meet his father. Amorataare never given such an honor, of course. It can only mean that hehas met his match. But of course, he is marrying you, isn’t he?”
Xerafolded her arms. Sourly, she said, “Apparently. We are accustomedto being asked where I am from.”
“Wouldyou say yes?”
“Ofcourse not!”
TheLady smiled. “Then why would he risk his heart? Our men seem veryfierce, but they are tender enough when a woman finds her way inside.You could wound him very easily.”
“Hedoesn’t love me.”
“Ifyou have any sense at all, do not pose such a question to him untilyour first child, at least! My own husband would not speak of hislove until we had been married twenty years! He was a very stubborncase,” Tessla confided. “Ryven will lie to protect himself, justas you would now. Admit that you would not speak the truth if askedabout your feelings for him.”
Xerawas silent. She didn’t even know enough about her feelings for himto do more than lie about the obvious.
“Hewill be good to you,” Tessla said with an air of finality. She rosegracefully to her feet. “Come. It is time for tea.”
Theyfinished off the meal with “small bites” that were spicy orsavory rather than sweet, and then Ryven walked her home.
Xeradidn’t want to talk. She’d only known Ryven a week. That wasn’tmuch time to understand the man with whom she was now expected tospend the rest of her life. He’d stood up for her, though, and thathad touched her deeply.
“Thankyou,” she said, after he’d closed the door to her suite behindthem. “I appreciate what you did.”
Hemade her a short bow. Very formally, he told her, “You realize weare betrothed. That much I insist on.”
Shelooked at him sidelong and chose an overstuffed chair to sit on. Inspite of her emotional fatigue, she tried to choose her wordscarefully. “That is your prerogative.”
Hestudied her. Whatever his thoughts, he said only, “You’re tired.”
“Iam.”
“Tomorrow,then. I’ll give you the night to...think.”
Hewas letting her be for now, then. Grateful for the space, she saidsimply, “Thank you.”
Heinclined his head in farewell and let himself out.