Alien in the House

Chapter 10



HAD TO SAY this for Len and Kyle—they knew, absolutely, when it was time to make a hasty retreat.

“We need to dress for dinner,” Len said as he stood quickly.

“Right,” Kyle agreed. “Call us when you need help getting the animals over to the Pontifex’s residence.”

With that, the two of them took off. They didn’t run, but they definitely didn’t stroll, either.

The front door closed and Jeff and I looked at each other. “You talk to the animals in their minds?” he asked finally.

“I guess.”

“I mean, not giving verbal commands you thought of, but by thinking at the animals without speaking and them understanding you?”

“Um, sorta.”

“Sorta?” Jeff sounded like he was working to keep his voice nice and calm. “And is Jamie saying that this talent has extended to the Earth animals, too?”

“Ah . . .”

“You know you do, Mommy,” Jamie said patiently, while I did my best to ensure that my expression, body language, and upper level thoughts didn’t betray how freaky it was to be having this conversation, with this level of language clarity, with my almost-one-year-old. “Just like you talk to Fairy Godfather ACE.”

“Right.” Now I had to hope my worry about ACE wasn’t getting through to Jamie. Prayed Jeff was doing some sort of mind block or something, though he looked like my Dr. Doolittle-ness had sent him to Freaked-Out Land with me.

Jamie shook her head. “Fairy Godfather ACE is tired and busy. You shouldn’t worry, Mommy. He’ll never leave us.”

“We can’t talk about this with other people, Jamie-Kat,” Jeff said quickly. “Daddy doesn’t want you to talk about ACE unless it’s only with Mommy or Daddy. And the same with Mommy being able to talk to the animals, that’s just for us to talk about.”

“I know, Daddy.” Jamie looked back and forth between us. “Are you mad at me?”

I hugged her tightly. “No, we’re not. Mommy and Daddy have been worried about Fairy Godfather ACE, that’s all. And other things.”

“Other things you don’t need to worry about,” Jeff said quickly.

“Okay, Daddy. Mous-Mous wants everyone to come with us tonight.” Mous-Mous was Jamie’s Poof, which, at the sound of its name, appeared from wherever it had been to perch on Jamie’s shoulder and purr loudly.

“Everyone?” Jeff asked. “Daddy and Mommy have to entertain the other grownups.”

“No Daddy, Mous-Mous wants all the other pets to come.”

Jamie’s saying that it was her Poof who wanted the other animals along was actually normal. Lots of little kids said their stuffed animals or favorite pet wanted to do the thing the little kid themselves wanted to do. Mom claimed that I’d used the cats they’d had when I was born, Sugar and Spice, as my excuse for anything and everything.

Now, however, I wasn’t sure if Jamie was just being a little girl or if Mous-Mous was actually weighing in on the evening’s animal arrangements.

Didn’t matter, because all roads led to every animal we had heading over to the Pontifex’s residence anyway. “No worries, Jamie-Kat. Every furred and feathered beast we have will be with you and Mous-Mous tonight.”

“Yay!” Jamie gave me a big hug, which was always nice.

Jeff got her settled and her dinner finished up. Then it was bath time, and into a Minnie Mouse pajama set. The A-Cs loved black and white and Armani. However, Reader had managed to ensure that Jamie’s baby shower registry had contained actual color. I didn’t know how long before she’d be put into the white oxford shirt and black slim skirt that was the female uniform of A-C choice, but I was going to do my best to ensure that day was a long time coming.

Jeff finished getting Jamie ready to go while I fed the dogs and cats and packed Jamie’s bag. She’d potty trained herself a month ago. Per Denise, Jamie had asked about it, Denise had explained the concept, and Jamie had done her thing. It made some things easier, but I almost dreaded what she’d do weeks, months, or years ahead of schedule next.

However, among the things it made easier was packing her for babysitting gigs like this one. All the room diapers and wipes would have taken up in the still awesome and reasonably pristine diaper bag was filled with changes of clothes, toys, and, as I looked inside, Poofs.

The cats were herded back into the Feline Winnebago along with whatever Poofs weren’t in the diaper bag. The dogs went back on their leashes. We called for Denise, Len, and Kyle. And then I called for the Peregrines. As Jamie had said, in my mind.

“Whoa!” Jeff jumped as twenty-four big birds just sort of appeared. “I hate it when they do that.”

Contrived to look innocent. “Yeah. It’s sort of freaky.”

Jeff gave me the hairy eyeball. “You called them, didn’t you?”

Considered lying. Knew he’d know. “Yes. It’s easier. You’re handling this really well.”

“I’m screaming and freaking out on the inside, but am trying to avoid having a huge fight with my wife about things neither one of us can control right before we have what is, according to James, the most important dinner party of our lives.”

“Oh. Go you.”

“But if you want to talk about all of this, feel free. I can handle it. I think.”

Chose to circumvent the chat about my newly expanded Dr. Doolittle abilities and looked to Bruno. “So, we expect the flock to head over to the Pontifex’s residence. Your thoughts?”

“I married the smartest girl in the galaxy.”

Bruno winked at Jeff, then cooed, fluffed his feathers, did the weird, fast head bob thing birds seemed to love doing, and clawed, gently, at the carpet.

“Huh. Okay.”

“What did he say?” Jeff asked. “And he winked at me, didn’t he? Why does that bird wink at people?”

“Yes. Despite your misgivings, Bruno’s your counterpart and he likes you. He only winks at a select few. Anyway, they want some of the flock with the kids, and some here, on duty. All the girls are going with the kids; all the boys are staying here on duty. Bruno says we won’t even know they’re there unless they need to be seen. Or need to save the day.”

“There’s not some kind of chance I can win an argument with them, is there?”

“No, not really. And, all things considered, it never hurts to have the Peregrines along in stealth mode.”

“How many Poofs are staying behind?”

Managed not to look guilty. “A few. You know, same thing, just in case.”

Jeff ran his hand through his hair. “We live in a zoo. I’d ask how this happened, but I know. I just don’t always believe it.” He heaved a sigh. “Okay, fine. Keep the Poofs and Peregrines out of sight. We’ll figure out something if they’re seen.”

“Fake it ’til we make it?”

“As you like to tell me, baby, whatever works.”

Denise and the boys arrived, we handed Jamie over with lots of kisses, then she and the pets were trundled down to the basement level to take a gate to the Pontifex’s residence.

During Operation Confusion, before we’d moved in as the new Heads of the Diplomatic Corps, I’d been certain we’d find another gate in the Embassy. But searching had turned up only the one gate in the basement level. Everyone else had dismissed this as being normal, even Chuckie after a thorough search had turned up no additional gates.

But the feeling that there were other gates here we just hadn’t found yet still tickled me now and then, and this was a now moment.

“Jeff, what if there’s a gate we can’t see because it’s hidden with the same sort of technology used to hide all those underground rooms in the Earth?”

“Then Reynolds, your mother, our NASA Base Team, our squatters the hackers, or someone else would have identified it, based on the new information we have since the invasion.” He said it patiently, which was yet more proof that he was a wonderful husband, because I knew he was tired of me worrying about this.

“Hacker International isn’t squatting here.”

“They’re living on the top floor of the Zoo, rent free, with our Operations Team taking care of them like they do the rest of our facilities. I call that squatting.”

“They’re performing useful services.”

“You mean they’re playing around. Because that’s all the useful I see out of their services.”

“Let’s not do this, especially because I know we’re doing it because we’re both nervous. Like you said, we need to avoid fighting before this event. Let’s get dressed for the party neither one of us wants to be hosting and hope that nothing explodes.”

Jeff stroked my face. “True enough. But I have a better idea.”

“Yeah?”

He got the expression on his face where he looked like a big jungle cat about to eat me. I loved that look.

“Yeah,” Jeff purred. “Let’s get undressed first.”