“A prayer for what?” Andi asked.
“That the two of you don’t start The Second Cataclysm.”
“Gilly!” Lira chided.
But Gilly was already gone, running ahead to catch up with Breck as they exited the giant stone doorway and turned into the narrow hall beyond.
Andi glanced once over her shoulder, back at the lake. Wondering if she really could find a place to hide away and forget about the world.
But she knew that was never an option. Captains—leaders—did not hide. They faced their problems head-on, accepting their fears and attacking them anyway.
“Fly true?” Lira suggested.
“Not the best statement right now, Lir,” Andi said. She sighed. “What you were going to say before Alfie interrupted us?”
“Never mind that, Androma.” Lira draped her arm across Andi’s shoulders and guided her out into the hall. “It’s not important.”
Despite Lira’s words, Andi still felt the warmth of her Second’s scales, heating slowly into sadness as they joined the rest of the crew.
Chapter Fifty-One
* * *
ANDROMA
“WOULD YOU STOP pacing, before you wear a hole in this mountain?” Breck asked.
“I’m sorry,” Andi said. “But we’re on Adhira, on the eve of a peace festival. Of all the planets and times to have this conversation with Valen. It’s like the Godstars are laughing at me.”
This planet was a tranquil place. Queen Alara had her Sentinels, but no army. And certainly not trained soldiers-turned-killers like Andi.
Adhira had no weapons, no major issues with violence. During The Cataclysm, they were the last planet in the Unified Systems to join the fight, and perhaps only because Alara hoped to save her people from a fate similar to Xen Ptera’s.
Andi’s skin prickled at the thought of being here. She didn’t belong on this planet, and never could.
She felt as if she was tainting the ground of this beautiful planet with every step she took.
This would be the first time Valen had really seen her in four years. The day he was rescued didn’t count—she doubted he’d truly registered who she was before blacking out, much like earlier today.
It wasn’t just Valen seeing her that unsettled Andi, but her seeing him. This time around, he wouldn’t be bloody with scraps of clothing falling off his thin frame. He would be coherent, cleaned up so that he resembled the boy she’d shared an estate with, and she had no idea what to expect. A man who had been driven mad by his years of imprisonment? Or the brother of Kalee, finally facing his sister’s killer?
She’d seen many Arcardians since her escape, but none who personally knew her past. Not only was Valen the first person she had seen who truly knew the old Andi—excluding General Cortas, of course—but he was also one of the people she’d hurt the most.
This was not going to be a happy reunion. Of that she was sure.
The guilt she felt toward the general wasn’t the same as it was toward Valen. It was hard to explain; a feeling she couldn’t quite pinpoint, almost as if she were a ship without a mapping system. Barreling endlessly toward some place she didn’t truly know the route to. Perhaps it was because Valen had always been so pure and good, while General Cortas had a way of manipulating her guilt for his own gain.
She focused instead on the fact that tonight was supposed to be a celebration. Revalia would soon begin. It had been fifteen years since The Cataclysm came to an end, and today was a time for the Unified Systems to celebrate their victory.
Each individual planet celebrated in their own way. Adhira’s Revalia Festival was full of dancing and drinking, blissful oblivion and starry skies. Something Andi would have loved and longed for once. The Arcardian festivities weren’t as lively—the militant planet chose to celebrate with banquets and strictly orchestrated parades rather than with a carefree nature.
Celebrating on Adhira should’ve excited her, but today, the idea of celebrating seemed false. To add to that, a few days from now, when they landed on Arcardius, the Intergalactic Summit would take place. The leaders from each of the four systems would be present to symbolize that peace still existed in the galaxy, and would continue to exist between the planets that made up the Unified Systems.
Andi hadn’t taken part in the celebrations in years. If they hadn’t landed here at such a time, she imagined she probably would have let another year go by unnoticed.
“Hey, Cap,” Gilly said, drawing Andi back to the present.
She was sitting cross-legged on the floor, playing with a fuzzy orange ball. At first Andi thought it was some sort of strange fruit she’d picked up outside, but as she slowed her pacing, Andi saw that it had two large eyes and what seemed to be three horns protruding from its head.
“Gilly, what the hell is that?” Andi yelped.
“Not sure. I found it upstairs and thought it was cute,” Gilly mused, eyes never leaving the thing in front of her. It batted at her with a paw nearly as large as its smushed face. Gilly giggled and scratched it on the head behind its protruding horns. “I like him.”
“What if it’s poisonous?”
“It’s not.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because the little bastard bit me,” Breck interjected from her seat. She held up a finger wrapped in gauze. “And I’m not dead yet. I am, however, planning tens of thousands of ways to kill it.”
“Don’t listen to her, Havoc.” Gilly scooped the fuzzball up and held it close.
“For the love of the stars, she’s named the beast!” Breck howled.
“I find the name quite fitting, Breck,” Lira added. “Every beast deserves a strong name.”
“Allow me to assist,” Alfie added, walking over on silent feet. “Havoc is defined, in the Great Universal Dictionary, as ‘great destruction or devastation. Ruinous damage.’”
Breck held up her bandaged finger again as further evidence. “See?”
The furry beast snarled and pounced from Gilly’s arms toward Breck’s feet. Breck leaped across the table onto Lira, who turned on her with an array of curses, her scales flashing bright purple.
“Oh, dear,” Alfie said, with a whirr of his gears that sounded like a sigh.
This was something Andi could deal with.
It was familiar, the soothing sound of their argument like music to her ears. She’d never been more thankful for a distraction.
Her relief didn’t last long. A moment later, the door opened and in walked Dex and Valen. Two men from completely different parts of her life, neither of the relationships ending in the way she’d envisioned.
They were polar opposites—one from a life of privilege, strange but pure at heart, and the other from a world that demanded a warrior’s determination. Seeing them side by side seemed so wrong.
Andi couldn’t look Valen in the eyes. It was too personal. She worried that if she did, he would see the rot she harbored within. He had seen her at her best and watched her fall. She couldn’t possibly fathom what he would think of her now.