From: “Ruby”
[email protected]
Date: October 24
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your American Pen Pal, Friends Around the World Pen Pal Program Dear Fatima,
Right after I e-mailed you, I had a big fight with my mom. I told her that I know everything, that I know she’s a liar and a slut, and she didn’t cry and then she did, and it was awful.
I said, “You can’t lie to me anymore. I need to know who my father is.”
She said, “It’s Mariano Donatello.”
I said, “How dumb do you think I am?”
She said, “I wanted you to have a nice story.”
I said, “I want the truth.”
She said, “The truth is, it was a one-night stand.”
I said, “I don’t know what that is.”
She said, “It’s a person you sleep with for one night and never see again.”
I said, “That is disgusting, and I don’t believe you. I know it’s Congressman Aaron Levin. You wrote about the ‘dirty things’ you did with him. He has curly hair and greenish eyes, and I have curly hair and green eyes.”
She said, “Lots of people have those, and it’s not him. If you found the blog, you’ll know. I never had the kind of sex with him that leads to having a baby.”
I said, “That is SOOOOO disgusting, and you lie to everyone, and you’re a criminal.”
She said, “Ruby, baby, I—”
I interrupted her. “Don’t ‘Ruby baby’ me.”
“Ruby, I am not a criminal. I committed no legal crimes. Moral ones? Yes. But legal ones? No. Where I was from, I was a laughingstock, and my family was so ashamed, and no one would hire me. And anyone who hadn’t heard of me could google me and find out everything. You know how permanent Google is. Have you ever heard of a book called The Scarlet Letter, Ruby?”
I said, “I don’t want to talk about books, Aviva.”
She said, “It’s relevant. It’s about this woman named Hester, and she commits adultery.”
I said, “I don’t know what that is!”
She said, “ ‘Adultery’ is what I did. Basically, it’s what I did. It’s having sex with someone you aren’t married to. She commits adultery and the town votes to make her wear a scarlet ‘A’ on her dress so everyone will always know what she did. Being in a scandal that people can google is like that, only a million times worse.”
She said, “So I legally changed my name, and I moved far away, and I built a life for us. And I’ve tried to be a good person, and I’ve tried to be a good mom to you. I did what I had to do, Ruby.”
We were both crying. I said, “Our name isn’t even Young.”
“Yes, it is,” she said. “It’s the name I gave us.”
She held out her arms for me to hug her, but I didn’t want to hug her.
“How can you let people vote for you?” I said. “Don’t they deserve to know who they’re voting for?”
She :(ed, but I didn’t even care! “No,” she said. “It’s my business.”
I said, “What if they find out?”
She said, “I’ll deal with it then. But if they find out, I will tell them the truth. And the truth is, I was young and I made mistakes.”
I said, “Why did you have to go and try to be mayor? It seems so stupid for a person who has so many secrets.”
“I don’t know, Ruby,” she said. “I do know, but it won’t make sense to you until you’re older.”
I yelled, “F**K OFF, AVIVA!” I’m very sorry for the curse, Fatima. I know FAW-PUH-PUH says we should try not to “use vulgarities.” I am NOT sorry for telling my Mom to “F**K OFF” because it is so rude to (1) lie for thirteen years and (2) then tell a person she’ll understand when she’s “older.” I ran into my room and I slammed the door. I slammed the door so hard, it knocked my lamp off the nightstand. My lamp looks like a porcupine, and it has a ceramic body and gold quills, and Mrs. Morgan gave it to me for my eleventh birthday. It broke into about one hundred pieces. That is an estimate.
Mom opened my door, and she said, “Oh no, not Charlie!”
I said, “It’s just a lamp.” But my stupid lip was quivering. I’m probably getting too old for it, but it was the best lamp. Mrs. Morgan ordered it especially for me online because porcupines are my favorite animal. It is UH-MAY-ZING that you can find out your mom is the Olympic Champion of Slutty Liars and still have any leftover feelings for your porcupine lamp.
The thing is, I do not have many friends:
1. My mom
2. Mrs. Morgan
3. Mr. Allison
4. Ms. Reacher
5. You
6. Charlie the Porcupine Lamp
It’s not like Charlie was high on the list, but still . . .
I went to sleep without brushing my teeth or taking off my clothes. I did not have to turn off my lamp, because it was already broken.
In the morning, Mom was gone. She had to go to a campaign breakfast. She left me a note: “I’m sorry.” The note was under Charlie’s foot—she must have spent hours gluing him back together. It annoyed me. It did not make me feel 1 percent more like forgiving her.
You break a lamp. You go to Target and you buy another lamp. I have $3,949.98 and I can buy a new porcupine lamp anytime I want.
Your Pen Pal,
Ruby
To: “Fatima” [email protected]
From: “Ruby”
[email protected]
Date: October 25
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your American Pen Pal, Friends Around the World Pen Pal Program Dear Fatima,
I know you are trying to be helpful, but you honestly have no idea what you are talking about.
I am honestly pretty surprised that you’re defending her. No offense, but don’t Muslim women get “stoned to death” for doing what my mom did?
I am not “slut-shaming” my mom, though you have to admit what she did was pretty “slutty.” Maybe I did not explain “slut-shaming” well before. “Slut-shaming” is “when you call a woman a ‘slut’ just because she had ‘sex.’ ” I don’t think it is “slut-shaming” if the person is actually a “slut.”
She is a liar.
She is committing “voter fraud” and “daughter fraud.” “Voter fraud” is “lying to the voters” but it can also be “rigging an election.” “Daughter fraud” is “lying to your daughter.”
—Ruby
P.S. I think we should take a break from our pen pal relationship. It is okay with me if you want to get a different pen pal.
To: “Fatima” [email protected]
From: “Ruby”
[email protected]
Date: October 26
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your American Pen Pal, Friends Around the World Pen Pal Program Dear Fatima,