“I don’t remember. Most of the time when I’m with him, I feel really comfortable, like I’m hanging out with someone I’ve known for a long time—a real, solid friend, you know? And then he’ll do something or say something that makes me notice how cute he is or how nice he is or how fun he is, and all those good friend-type feelings go away and I go gaga over him and start acting like I have only half a brain.” My voice rises as my inability to manage a single-adult life becomes clearer with my explanation. “And then the next thing I know we’re talking about going out on dates with other people. It’s really frigging frustrating, if you want to know the truth. I’m totally out of practice with this being-single shit. I’ve barely started doing it, and I already want to quit. And I hate that Miles is so much better at it than I am.”
May shakes her head. “It’s not you that’s the problem here. And don’t even begin to compare yourself to that turdbasket, Miles. Ugh. He’s such a dick and you are so not a dick, okay?”
We both smile. She always had a way with words, my sister.
“This stuff with Dev . . . don’t let it get you down. I think he’s just a complicated guy. In fact, I think all the people at Bourbon Street Boys are particularly complicated people. They had rough lives growing up here in New Orleans. We thought we had it tough, but it was nothing compared to what they went through, believe me. Ozzie has told me some stories . . .” She waves her hand around, dismissing that thought before she can elaborate. “Anyway, they went through a lot of tragedies together that brought them close. They’re a special breed for sure, and it takes longer to get to know them, but when you do get there . . . when you’re accepted into their group . . . it’s totally worth it.”
I yearn for the kind of acceptance she’s describing. If only I could woman-up and stop worrying about everything all the time. “I’m really happy for you, that you found Ozzie and his team. It’s difficult for me, but clearly good for you.” It feels nice to finally admit that out loud. All the risks she takes fade a little in my mind when I see the happy expression on her face and hear the confidence coming out in her voice. She’s found her place in the world, and that’s something to hang on to. Hell, I’m thirty-two and I still haven’t gotten there; I’m starting to doubt I ever will.
“Thank you,” she says. “I was worried you didn’t approve.”
“Actually, I didn’t. I’ve been freaked out about what you’ve been doing, to be honest. I know Ozzie’s a good guy, but your life has really changed since you met him, and I worry about the risks that you run going out and taking pictures of criminals.”
“But you know that I’m being trained, and I have the whole team around me. I’m never alone doing the work. And most of what we do is behind the scenes.”
I nod. “I know that. But still, my first day there? Remember? There was that big . . . incident or whatever. Do you even know what it was all about?”
May nods, getting serious all of a sudden. “We have an idea.”
I raise my eyebrows at her. “Is it top-secret, need-to-know stuff, or am I allowed to hear about it?”
She doesn’t answer me right away, which only makes me more curious. I up the ante by handing her another muffin and then settle down deeper into my chair. This promises to be really good, if the expression on my sister’s face is any indication.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
My sister looks a little uncomfortable. “I’m not really sure, actually,” she says. “You’re not technically an employee of the Bourbon Street Boys, or at least not as far as I know. Did they officially offer you a job yet?”
“No. Lucky hinted around that there could be a job for me, but I don’t get the impression that he’s the one who would do the offering.”
May shakes her head. “No, it would officially come from Thibault or Ozzie. But I know there’s a job opening. I guess you just need to let them know you’re interested. Everybody has kind of gotten the impression that you’re on the fence about it, and nobody wants to push you.”
I nod. “That’s a fair assessment. I am on the fence about it. I can see all the benefits, and I really do need a job right now, but there’s still that element of risk there . . . So, I’ve decided to think about it a little bit longer.” I pause for a few seconds and then try to act casual. “So, you know where that big dent in the door came from? Who did it?”
May nods. “I guess I can tell you that much. You’ve signed an NDA and you were kind of involved.” She sighs. “We think we know. We had surveillance set up around the building, and we caught some images on tape. Ozzie and Thibault are looking into it right now . . . along with Toni.”
The way she mentions Toni’s involvement makes me pay extra attention. “Does it have something to do with her? Toni, I mean?”
“I think so. Ozzie’s not positive, but based on some of the things that we’ve seen, and some of the things that Toni has said, I think it has something to do with her past. With her ex.”
“Ooh, gossip. Tell me.” I have to believe that anything having to do with Toni’s ex will be an interesting story. In fact, I can’t imagine anything about Toni’s life being boring. I’d bet even her daily routines would make mine look positively stodgy in comparison. She probably brushes her teeth while twirling nunchucks and puts on mascara while throwing Chinese stars into targets across the room. I wait anxiously for May to spill the beans.