“Me neither.” I stroked his damp skin and kissed the side of his head, then his temple. His cheek. “But it was pretty cool, wasn’t it?
“If by cool, you mean the most amazing thing ever, then sure.” He looked up at me. “Are you okay?”
I snorted. “If by okay, you mean absolutely wonderful, then sure.”
Chuckling at my answer, he pulled out of me and began to sit up. “I’m probably squishing you.”
I wanted to tell him he was fine, I liked him right where he was. But okay, I did feel a bit squished. I sat up beside him, thinking I should feel embarrassed that we were sitting naked together side by side in the backseat of my new car, but I didn’t even experience a smidgeon of awkward shame.
Looking down at his lap, he made a strange sound in his throat. “Okay, my first used condom. What the hell do I do with this thing?”
“Umm…throw it out the window?”
He went to pull it off as I stood up and leaned over the front seat to turn the car onto accessory and roll down the back window for him.
“Shit,” he hissed. “There’s blood on it. Are sure you’re okay?”
I plopped back down beside him, rolling my eyes. “It was my first time; there was supposed to be blood.”
“I know, but...I’m actually looking at the fucking blood now, and it’s...do you still hurt? How bad did it hurt? Don’t lie to me. Because if you’re not okay—”
“Knox.” I clasped his face in both hands and smiled into his eyes. “I am more than okay. I’m wonderful. And, no, it doesn’t hurt at all.”
“But it did?” he pressed, worry creasing his features.
I squinted thoughtfully and admitted, “For like half a second maybe, but then it felt so good, the little pinch of pain at first was worth it.”
“Truth?”
“Truth,” I assured.
He kissed me once, and then flung the used condom out the window so he could grasp my face and kiss me deeper. “Thank you,” he said, pulling me into his lap. “Thank you for the best summer of my entire life. I look forward to sharing twenty more with you, and then twenty more after that.”
“What about winter, and fall and spring?”
“Those too. I can’t wait to spend every season with you.”
He leaned in to kiss me again, but a light filled the backseat.
I blinked against the sudden brightness. “What—”
“Shit, shit, shit.” He shoved me off his legs. “A car’s coming!”
“Oh my God!” Totally not expecting that, I dove off him the rest of the way, covering my chest as I went.
“Clothes. Now,” he ordered, finding his boxers first thing and yanking them on.
“I can’t find anything,” I wailed, my panic making my head even more blurry and unable to find a single piece of my outfit.
“Here. I have your panties.” He tossed them to me, and I scurried to pull them on, accidentally jabbing him in the rib.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. Just hurry.”
I glanced out the window at the approaching headlights. “Maybe they’ll drive past without noticing us.” We were somewhat obscured by the tree line.
Except the car slowed down and pulled into the space behind my car.
Knox shook his head. “They’re not driving past.”
I whimpered, my fingers suddenly the clumsiest appendages on earth. “I can’t get my bra on.”
He gave up on trying to untangle his pants to help me with my bra. We’d just snapped it into place, when car doors slammed from the other vehicle. I held my breath as approaching footsteps sounded through the opened back window.
Knox and I clutched each other in nothing but our underwear as a male voice said, “Felicity?”
I shivered against Knox and looked up into his eyes. “It’s Max.”
I spent most of the day at the gym. I should’ve been proud of myself; I hadn’t ignited when City had pounced and pushed and had no mercy on me. I’d felt all the things I always felt when the dark, helpless rage took over, but I’d restrained myself. I’d gotten out and gone to work off my steam, and everything had worked out okay. I should’ve been pleased with my progress.