Worth It

I started to reach for him. “Are you okay?” But he was already fumbling his way through, and I had to dive aside to get out of his way.

Chuckling and out of breath, he landed ungracefully beside me and then wiggled until he was sitting the correct way. Then he blew out some oxygen and answered, “Yeah, I’m good.”

I curled up to him and massaged his knee. “Want me to kiss it better?”

He shook his head. “No, actually. I think I hurt my lip even more. Maybe you should kiss that instead.”

I slapped at his chest. “Liar.” He hadn’t bumped anything even remotely close to his face.

Grinning, he tugged me into his lap. “How about you kiss me there, anyway?”

So I did. We shared nothing but slow drugging kisses for the next couple minutes. He grew hard under me, and I knew I was wet, but neither of us did anything about it.

After a long, satisfied sigh, he drew his lips from mine and pressed our foreheads together while he lazily rubbed my back. “Sometimes I wish I hadn’t fallen so hard for you. I wouldn’t worry so much, and I could just concentrate on the fun we have.”

“You don’t have to worry, Knox.” I kissed his cheek. “Even if we were temporarily separated, I’d always be with you.” Placing my hand to his chest, I gazed into his eyes with all the sincerity in my soul. “And I’d always find my way back to this.”

He covered my hand with his and pressed them more firmly against his heart. “I keep thinking about how to make this work,” he admitted from a rusty voice. “You became the most important thing in my world this summer, and I only want the absolute best for you, but...what if I’m not the best thing for you?”

“You are,” I insisted. “God, you can’t even realize, probably because you didn’t know me before, but you’ve given me…I don’t even know how to explain it, but something has bloomed inside me since meeting you. I don’t feel like a worthless, self-conscious misfit anymore. It’s like you’ve awakened the real me, and that person is special.”

“Of course you’re special. You’re the most extraordinary person I know. I saw it the first time we ran into each other in the woods.”

“Well, I didn’t. I didn’t see anything at all remarkable about myself until you showed me what I could be. So don’t ever think you’re not what’s best for me. Okay?”

He threaded his fingers through my hair and gazed into my eyes before saying, “Will you marry me?”

My mouth fell open.

Shaking his head, he quickly revised, “I mean, someday, way far in the future when we no longer have to worry about our families or school or any of that shit. When we’re older.”

“Yes,” I whispered, bobbing my head so hard I could’ve given myself whiplash. “Yes!” I leaned in to kiss him, but he caught my face, halting me, his eyes searching mine.

“Are you sure? It’s not going to be easy, and I have no idea how we’re going to manage it. But I’ve been thinking. I thought about us and how we could make this work the entire two weeks you were gone.”

“And?” I pressed, eager to hear what conclusion he’d come to.

“And I…I need a job, a decent job, something worthy enough. So…I know…I think I know what I want to be.”

I lit up, too excited to hear what he had to say. “What?”

“Well…I love our woods. I love plants and working with my hands, and just being surrounded by nature. I think...what do you think of, like, me running a tree nursery?”

“You want to own a tree nursery?” I wasn’t expecting an idea like this, but I liked it. I loved it, actually, and I could envision Knox in that kind of profession perfectly.

He shrugged, looking suddenly bashful. “I know I’d probably have to work at one for a while, learn the trade, you know. But then, maybe after a couple years when I’d saved up some money...” He shrugged again. “Who knows? Maybe it’d actually work.”

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