“You think I’m jealous? Of you?” the witch asked.
“So far you’ve ruined my wedding, cursed one of my best friends, and trapped my fiancé in a magic mirror, and now you’re strangling him in front of me,” Red said. “If that isn’t a personal vendetta, I don’t know what is. Obviously something is fueling your obsession with ruining my life, and it doesn’t reek of jelly on my side of the ballroom!”
“Please explain how someone like me could be jealous of someone like you,” Morina said. “I’ve gutted canaries with higher intelligence.”
“Like most aspects of my life, brains have nothing to do with it,” Red said. “Face it, you’re envious of my beauty!”
“Excuse me?” the witch asked.
“You heard me!” Red said. “I have flawless skin, beautiful eyes, fantastic hair, a naturally high metabolism—but I’m also kind, considerate, giving, and a good friend! I’m just as gorgeous on the inside as I am on the outside! And no matter how many potions you drink, no matter how many enchantments you make, there will always be a selfish, greedy, hateful, and ugly goat inside you!”
The queen’s words hit the witch right where it hurt the most. Morina was so outraged, her eyes turned red and the blood in her veins became black. Red’s friends and the Fairy Council closed their eyes, terrified to see how the witch would respond.
“You really are the biggest idiot in the universe,” Morina said. “I consider this a favor to mankind.”
The witch pointed with both hands at Red, and a bright violet light blasted from the tips of her fingers. Just as the deadly blast was about to hit the young queen, Red removed the hand mirror from her purse and used it to shield herself. Morina’s magic bounced off the mirror and headed straight back to her. Morina was hit by her own magic and burst into millions of pieces.
“Who’s the idiot now, Morina?” Red said.
When Conner and the others opened their eyes, they were shocked to see that Red was still standing and the witch was dead.
“Darling, that was incredible!” Froggy cheered.
“Red, you’re a genius!” Conner shouted.
“How did you know the mirror would reflect her magic?” Bree asked.
“Glamorous Magazine,” Red said with a shrug. “I read this wonderful article on the plane that said ‘If a woman wants to be saved, she’ll find her greatest savior in the mirror.’ I don’t know who they were talking about, but they certainly saved me.”
Her friends had never been so thankful for a misinterpretation. Red climbed a ladder and cut Froggy loose from the billboard with the Swiss Army knife. They helped each other to the ground, but before Froggy could help the others, Red stopped him.
“Charlie, I want to get married,” she said.
“Well, so do I, darling—”
“No, you don’t understand,” she said. “I want to get married right now.”
Froggy knew from the desperate look in her eyes that Red was dead serious.
“Sweetheart, are you sure now is a good time?” he said.
“I’m positive,” Red said. “If the last month has taught me anything, it’s how unpredictable life can be—especially when you’re friends with the Bailey twins. This could very well be the last chance we’ll ever get! Let’s do it now, in the Square of Times, before another magical being can tear us apart!”
The idea made Froggy’s heart fill with joy, but he wasn’t convinced it was the right thing to do.
“Are you sure this is the wedding you want?” he asked. “I don’t mean to be crude, but the whole street is covered in a witch’s remains.”
A large and self-assured smile grew on Red’s face. “Charlie, I can’t think of a better place to get married than on the ashes of your ex-girlfriend,” she said. “Mother Goose, will you do the honors?”
Besides being pinned to the ground by a three-ton lion statue, Mother Goose couldn’t think of a reason why she couldn’t perform the ceremony.
“I suppose I’m available,” she said.
“Wonderful!” Red squealed. “And for all intents and purposes, we’ll say the Fairy Council are our witnesses, Conner is the best man, and Alex is my maid of honor. Don’t worry, Alex! This will only take a minute and we’ll get right back to helping you!”
Red and Froggy joined hands and stood in the middle of Times Square as Mother Goose officiated the impromptu wedding.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today—against our will—to unexpectedly watch this frog and woman join in questionable matrimony. Do you, Charlie Charming, take Red Riding Hood as your lovably high-maintenance wife?”
“I do,” Froggy declared.
“And do you, Red Riding Hood, take Charlie Charming as your adorably webfooted husband?”
“I do,” Red said.
“Then it is with the power mistrusted in me that I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may kiss the frog!”
Red and Froggy shared their first kiss as a married couple, and their friends cheered.
“Beautiful ceremony, my dear,” Merlin said.
“Believe it or not, this isn’t the strangest wedding I’ve been to,” Mother Goose said. “Now will someone get this stone feline off me?”
Fortunately, they didn’t have to. Alex soared across Manhattan as her magic consumed the island below her. The lion statues leaped off Mother Goose and Merlin and followed Alex, jumping from rooftop to rooftop across the city. Froggy and Red cut the cables around Conner and Bree and then sliced through the vines trapping the Fairy Council.
“What do we do now?” Bree asked.
“We need to get off this island and regroup with the others,” Conner said. “Now that she’s been ordered to destroy the Otherworld, Alex isn’t going to stop until we break the curse.”
“Any ideas how to break it?” Froggy asked.
“Just one,” Conner said. “But I’m praying we find another way.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
A BROTHER’S BURDEN
A wave of Alex’s destructive vines chased after Conner, his friends, and the Fairy Council as they ran through the New York City streets. The fairies zapped the approaching plants with enchantments to keep them off their tail, but every time they destroyed one vine, a dozen grew in its place.
“It’s like Manhattan is sinking into the Thornbush Pit!” Conner said.
“What’s a Thornbush Pit?” Bree asked.
“It’s a dangerous sinkhole in the fairy-tale world,” Conner explained. “Alex and I had to go inside it to retrieve an item for the Wishing Spell. You know what’s funny? After all this, that seems like a good memory!”
“Speak for yourself!” Froggy said.
Luckily, the group came to an intersection and crossed paths with Arthur, the Knights of the Round Table, and Cornelius. They, too, were on the run from the atrocious vines covering the city. The unicorn carried Rook’s body on his back; the knights had covered him in candy wrappers from the witches’ base.
“Did you find Alex?” Arthur asked.
“We did,” Red said. “As you can see from the demonic plants covering the city, it didn’t go so well.”