“Five, hmm. Three boys and two girls.”
“Yep, but they’re all grown now. They have their own families, their own lives, but we still have each other.”
“Life went by fast,” Adam said. His voice seemed distant. I bent and kissed the top of his head. Without looking, he reached back and held my hand on his shoulder. “That’s what happens when you live it well, right? When you have someone to love? It goes by fast. You blink and it’s over.”
“You’re making love sound tragic,” I said.
“No”—he shook his head—“I wouldn’t want it any other way. Tell me about us. What do we like to do?”
“Paint and sail and eat and drink. Just simple things.”
“Don’t forget about sex,” he said.
“Yeah, lots of sex. Before the children were born we were practically naked every second of the day.”
“I like that.”
“When they got older, we’d sneak away for weekends and leave them at my mom’s.”
“What are they like? Our children.”
“Happy. That’s all we wished for. We put our love first and it just spilled over into them and now they’re happy.”
Tears sprang from my eyes and ran down my cheeks. Isn’t that what we all hope for when it comes to our children?
His tone suddenly changed. “That’s beautiful, Charlotte.” It was like he was waking up from the dream. I didn’t want to go back to reality yet, but I knew these fantasies were just to help Adam get his mind off the cancer.
“I can imagine a long life with you,” he said. “I can imagine what a great wife you’d be. You’re going to make someone a very happy husband.”
I pulled my hand out of his. “The story is about you and me.” He didn’t say anything; he just nodded and then continued to stare out the window. I bent and kissed the top of his head again, and whispered, “It’s about us. Don’t take that away from me.”
From the corner of my eye, I caught a figure walking near the end of the footbridge at the entrance of the south tower where we had come from. I turned and froze when I spotted Seth standing perfectly still, staring at us. He had stopped about twenty feet away.
I straightened my body and turned in his direction like I was going to walk toward him, but I couldn’t move. My feet wouldn’t work. I mouthed the word Hi.
He didn’t say anything. He looked upset.
I finally took a step toward him, but he stuck his hand out, stopping me. His lips were turned up very slightly. His gaze moved to Adam, sunken in his chair, and then his eyes were back on mine. Adam wasn’t aware of anything going on behind him.
He was still facing out the window, silent. Seth’s right wrist was wrapped in a bandage. I wanted to ask him about everything, I wanted to go to him, but before I had the chance, he turned and walked away. He knew.
As I stood there, cemented to the ground, I realized I had thrown it all away with Seth. Did it matter?
“Charlotte?” Adam’s voice was urgent. My stomach churned with anxiety.
I ran around and bent over near the front of his chair. His eyes were wide. By that point Adam could sense when he was going to have a seizure, so I was certain he was going to warn me that he wasn’t feeling well. But, instead, he smiled.
I scowled. “You scared me. Why’d you shout?”
He reached for my hand. “You have to take me somewhere. You have to take me now.” He seemed stronger in that moment, more alert.
“Please, Adam, I told you I’m too scared. What’s gotten into you?”
When I stood up next to the arm of his chair, he reached for my hand and yanked me onto his lap. “Oh my god, Adam, what are you doing?”
He pressed his hands to my cheeks and kissed me. “Promise me something, Charlotte?”
“What is it?”
His eyes were still wide, searching mine. “Promise me this is the last moment in your life that you will let fear stop you from doing what you want.”
“What?”
“Will you do that for me? Stop giving a fuck and take me somewhere right now and promise me you will not be scared of your own shadow anymore. I need a legacy, Charlotte, and I can’t make one sitting here in this fucking chair.”
“Adam, are you insane?”
“Yes, maybe, who cares? You were all-in that night. Just take me somewhere because I need to do something besides sit here and die, please!”
“If this is about your legacy, you have one. The art world is calling you a genius. When they find out who you are, your paintings will be worth millions.”
“I don’t care about any of that. Please get me out of here.”
I hadn’t agreed to anything yet. I wheeled him back to his room, where Leah gave him a dose of medication and his lunch of broth and Jell-O. He slurped it up with a smile and then did a wheelie in his chair and said, “Let’s hit it.”
“Fine, Adam, but this whole thing freaks me out.”
“Just calm down. We don’t have much time; we need to go. We need to hit the art supply store first.”
“I thought you couldn’t paint?”
He smirked, “I’m a genius, remember? I’ll figure it out. Let’s go.”
We hit a Michaels nearby. Adam threw brushes and paints into a basket on his lap as I pushed him through the aisles. Back in the car, he directed me through downtown, until we hit a street near my apartment. “Park here.” He pointed.
Directly across from us was the mural of the winged man. “You painted that,” I said.
“Oh, I know. That’s why we’re here. I need to finish it.”
I hadn’t realized it was incomplete. “But Adam, it’s the middle of the day. Someone will see you. If anyone recognizes you, you’ll make the news.”
“Who cares?”
“At least let me take you to my apartment to get some of Chucky’s clothes.”
“Fine, but we have to go fast.” We went to my empty apartment and grabbed a sweatshirt, jeans, and some slippers from Chucky’s closet. Adam was so skinny that his jeans barely stayed up, so I quickly found a belt and then helped him back down the stairs. He was weak but lighter, so I was able to help him easily.
I pushed him over to the mural. In his lap, he carried paints and brushes on a cookie sheet. “I need to sit on the ground. I need to finish the bottom part.”
“It’s gross on the ground, Adam.”
“Jesus, Charlotte, will you just help me?” I helped him to sit on the ground in front of the mural. “You keep watch,” he said. I sat in the wheelchair in front of him and tried as best as I could to block his hunched figure, sitting near the wall.
“How’s it going?” I asked.
“It’s tough,” he said. “But it’s going to work.”
Half an hour went by. I checked my watch. “You okay?”
“I’m done. You can look now.”
I stood, turned around, and helped him back into the seat. When my eyes finally registered what I was seeing, I stumbled back and steadied myself against the arm of Adam’s chair. He placed his hand over mine. “What do you think?” he asked.