It felt like hours had passed as I stared up at the ceiling, but when I checked the clock it had only been minutes. I walked out onto my private balcony and up the stairs to the rooftop terrace. I fell into one of the large white chairs with thick cushions and stared out at the city lights.
I wasn’t sure this was the place I wanted to raise a family. Things were so busy here, people so cold. I missed home suddenly, the first time since I arrived. Not just because of Whitney, but because of the people, the town and the feeling you’d get when you walked in your front door. That all seemed to be missing here, and I wasn’t sure having Whitney here could or ever would change that.
My deep thoughts obviously knocked my ass out as I opened my eyes and felt the pain in my joints from the uncomfortable chair. I felt like a crippled man as I tried to get to my feet.
As I was walking downstairs, the doorbell rang. A team of cleaning ladies were holding a vacuum and buckets filled with cleaning supplies as I opened the door. I showed them around the house and then let them get to work while I sat out by the pool staring at my phone.
It had been two days, almost three, and Whitney hadn’t called me back. I promised I would give her time to think about it, but I’d been hoping that only meant a few hours, a day tops. How long was I supposed to wait?
I was glad the cleaning ladies were quick because I needed to pack for a road trip and be ready to leave for the airport in just a couple of hours. I paid them and looked around at the place — not much difference. It wasn’t like I actually used the place much. But, at least I knew there were no loose panties, used condoms, or sex toys anywhere in the house.
God, at least I hoped so.
***
A week had passed, and the suspense was killing me. Marty told me to hang on, but I was losing faith at this point. Maybe no news wasn’t always good news, maybe it meant she wasn’t coming back and just didn’t have the heart to tell me.
We were back home, and Rhett was talking to the coach after another victory. It was the first time I’d seen him around in a while, at least out on the field. I’d wondered if he’d been MIA to avoid me because he was having a big love affair with Whitney. She told me they were only working together, but I just didn’t know.
“Hey, Rhett,” I called out, running in his direction.
Coach Griffin looked nervous as I approached, probably afraid I was going to lose my temper and do something stupid. A week ago, sure, that was a good possibility, but not today, and not ever again.
“What can I do for you, Calvin?” Rhett asked. He smiled and slapped a hand on my back. Coach took the hint that their conversation was over and ducked into the clubhouse with the rest of the team. “You’ve been pretty damn impressive here lately,” he acknowledged.
“Thank you, sir,” I said and mentally cursed. I was acting like a school boy. “I just wanted to ask, I mean…” I took a deep breath. “Whitney told me she was doing some work for you.”
He flashed a perfect smile. “Yes, she’s doing a great job.”
“It’s just… well, is she here now?” I spit it out.
The smile faded, turned smug, at least it seemed that way to me. “Surely if you two were talking like you say, you’d know her whereabouts.”
“Yes, I mean we talked last week, about her coming back, but I haven’t heard from her yet,” I explained. “I just thought you could give me a heads up as to where she is.”
He looked a little agitated, and his hand slipped away from my back as we walked towards the dugout. “You know how I feel about giving out personal information,” he reminded me. “So maybe her not contacting you simply means she isn’t coming back.”
It felt almost like it pleased him to tell me that. His words felt like a dagger in my chest and yet he managed to squeeze enjoyment out of it, but why?
“Okay, thanks.” I ran to the locker room to get dressed before heading back to my big empty house.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Whitney
Holly flopped over my bed, filling me in on her adventures. She’d been gone for a couple weeks, and I’d been waiting for her to finally return home before making a decision about Calvin. “I didn’t know having this much fun was possible,” she gushed.
“So… are you and Ace a couple?”
She shot me a look. “Hell, no. I do think we’re starting to care about each other, and we have fun together, but that’s what friends with bens are supposed to do.”
I shook my head, unable to comprehend the friends with benefits concept. I’d already proven to myself that casual sex wasn’t something I was good at. Or wanted.
“When will you see him again?”
She lifted a shoulder like she really didn’t care. “Not sure. My cousin is getting married and I promised to help with all the details, and of course the cake. So I’ll be there for a couple of weeks at least. But if you need me, call and I’ll jump on a plane.”
My stomach churned at the thought of seeing Calvin alone, and not having Holly there as backup.
“So, what are you going to do about Calvin?” she asked.
I sat on the edge of the bed and fought back my tears. My heart was aching — it had been ever since I left — but I was afraid. “I want to give him another chance.”
Holly rolled her eyes and made a face. “He’s been a real player lately, Whitney. He’s not the same Calvin you remember.”
I knew that was true, or at least I’d heard. But I hadn’t exactly been a saint.
“He’s promised to give it all up,” I insisted. Her eyes told me she didn’t believe it, but my heart told me I should. “Have you seen him?”
“No,” she admitted. “I think he and Ace had some kind of fight or something.”
My heart swelled, and that was all it took to make my decision. With Ace out of the picture, maybe there was a chance for us. “I’m going to call him,” I told her and gripped my phone as I walked out of my childhood bedroom.
The phone rang once and then his voice was so eager that it brought me to tears. I pushed them back as best I could and swallowed hard so I could speak. “Calvin, I’d like to talk.”
He let out a yelp, and he whooped with excitement on the other end of the phone. “Not promising anything, just to test the waters,” I said, putting as much seriousness as I could muster into the words.
“I understand, anything you want,” he said. “I love you.”
“I’ll see you in a couple days,” I replied and hung up. I couldn’t get myself to say those three little words, no matter how much I wanted to. What if he hadn’t changed? I couldn’t risk putting my heart on the line until I saw him for myself.
Holly wasn’t too excited about my decision, but it wasn’t hers to make. I couldn’t put too much weight into what she thought at this point, not with the decisions she was making for her own life.