Pity punched me in the gut, then irritation followed. How could I feel pity for that man?
When I was a child, my knuckles would crack and bleed as I stood shivering in the batting cage, hitting ball after ball from that machine. Snow. Rain. Blazing hot sun. It didn’t matter.
He sat under the protection of the awning in his old green lawn chair, drinking cheap beer while criticizing — he called it “teaching” — every move I made. My brother, Brady, took a lashing from the old man too, but once dear old dad realized that Brady didn’t have any talent, he was ignored… completely. There were many days I wished I didn’t have any talent either. Or that I didn’t love the game.
But I was eager and wanted to please my daddy, so I practiced, even when he didn’t force me. I wanted to be the best. I wanted to make him proud. Even when he embarrassed me by yelling at the umps during little league, or the time he punched my coach for sitting me out for a broken thumb.
“You’re turning him into a little pussy. He won’t ever make it big if you let him off that easy.” Then he cut off the cast and shoved me onto the field.
I guess I should thank the mean old snot for pushing me so hard. If it weren’t for him, I wasn’t sure I’d be where I am today. But, even that didn’t impress him.
“I made it, Dad.” I was so proud when I told him about my first selection. It was the minors, but I was going straight out of high school and felt like I’d just stepped into a goldmine.
He’d smiled at me smugly. “See, I know all that teaching I did for you would pay off. Who’re ya playing for? And how much you making?”
“The RiverDogs. Team minimum, but…”
I never finished my sentence because the look of disappointment on Dad’s face stole the words. “The minors?” he finally said, his tone low and bitter. “You mean I sacrificed my time and my money, and you’re excited by the minors?”
“It’s still the Yankees, Dad,” I argued, wasting my breath. “A couple years and I—”
“A couple years and you’ll be flipping burgers. You fucked up your chances at college because you couldn’t get the grades.”
“I couldn’t get the grades because every hour of every day of my life was spent trying to impress you.”
He barked out a laugh. “Impress me? Well, you certainly failed at that one, didn’t ya. Just like you failed at everything else. The minors… that’s bullshit. What am I supposed to say to the guys in the office? Guess what, my dumb fuck kid made a dumb fuck team that nobody’s dumb fucked heard of, making dumb fucked enough money to do dumb fucked nothing? That’s what I’m supposed to tell ‘em?”
“How about telling them that you’re proud of me?” I offered and immediately regretted saying the words.
He snorted and slapped his thigh, finding my statement absolutely hilarious. “Tell me that when you’re playing for the bigs.”
I did make it to the bigs, sooner than anyone expected, then was traded around a lot before settling in Atlanta. Even then, Dad would be in the stands, cursing the umps and me. Nothing and nobody was ever good enough. Eventually, I’d had him banned, which made me end up looking like a bad guy. The tabloids loved it, eating up the “I gave up everything to make sure my kid got to play and look how he repaid me” bullshit story my father served them.
It just made me hate him and the world even more.
The only really good person in my life was my mom. She would smooth ointment on my aching muscles and tell me to never give up. When she died…
Why the fuck is it always the mothers who die? Almost every damn Disney movie ever written has the mother dying and then everything goes to hell for the kid. Of course, my life had been nothing close to a fairytale. I was nobody’s prince and happy ever after was a lie we’d been sold one broken promise at a time.
“Ace, are you still there?” Eve asked, and I relaxed my grip on the phone. Dammit, I needed to get over this shit.
“Yeah. I’m here. I’m in Florida right now, Eve. Spring training just started. I’m already on the coach’s bad side, so I can’t take off, not right now.”
“Ace, this is your father, your family. You have to set your priorities.”
And there was the reason I refused to go home. She was a royal pain in the ass. After mom passed away, she became worse, taking on the pressure of keeping the family together. What she didn’t realize was that with Mom gone, there was no family.
“This is my career,” I snapped. “You know, the one that pays for your house and your car and that private school for my niece and nephew. The one that pays for all of Dad’s expenses. Isn’t that enough?”
She sighed heavily into the phone. “Ace, you know how much I appreciate everything you do for us. I just don’t want you to have any regrets. Come home. Just see him before he dies.”
Regrets.
I was full of them.
“I don’t know, Eve. I’ll think about it and let you know. Gotta go.”
I disconnected the call without giving her the chance to guilt trip me anymore.
My phone vibrated immediately, and I wanted to toss it against the wall. I turned it over and looked at the screen, expecting to see Eve again, calling to reprimand me for hanging up on her.
It was Holly.
My nerves were shaken up, my emotions scattered after my trip down memory lane. I needed a few minutes. I wasn’t sure I could handle talking to her right now. I paid the driver and got out of the cab, walked into the complex and past the blue neon lights in the ceiling that glowed over the round seats in the lobby. My phone vibrated again.
Holly.
I was calmer now, and seeing her face light up my screen calmed me even more.
“Hey, darlin’.”
I hit the elevator button and waited for the doors to open. Her voice was sweet, deliciously sweet. “Do you miss me yet?”
“Hell yes.”
She laughed softly. “Well, that’s good news.”
“You have no idea how badly I could use some good news right now, darlin’.”
“If I said I’m on my way to you now, would that be something you’d want to hear?”
The elevator door opened, but I didn’t step on, afraid I’d lose the signal. Lose her. “Yeah, that’d be great news.”
“Then… I’m on my way to see you.”
Damn tears burned the back of my eyes. What the fuck?
When I didn’t say anything, she asked, “Are you okay?”
I cleared my throat. “That’s terrific, darlin’. It’ll be great to see ya. Yeah, I’m good.”
“You don’t sound okay. Did something happen on the field?”
I forced out a laugh. “No. Nothing like that. I’m okay. When will you be here?”
“Late this evening. Whitney and I got a late flight. We land around midnight.”
“How ‘bout I leave a key for ya at the front desk and you just sneak into bed with me?”
Waking up with Holly in my arms was exactly what I needed right now.
“Okay. I’ll see you soon.”
I shut the phone off, shoved it in my pocket, and punched the elevator call button again. Just as I stepped on, Luke’s voice echoed down the hall. “Wait up, wild man!” He turned sideways to avoid the closing door. “Where ya headed tonight?”