Wild Card (North Ridge #1)

She glances at me over her shoulder and then yells at Sybil, “Come on girl!” and starts kicking like crazy.

Sybil perks up and starts off at a canter, turning to a gallop as soon as the two of them find their rhythm together. I take a moment to watch Rachel fly across the grass like she’s sailing on top of a ghost. I can hear the freedom in her voice as she whoops and hollers over the hoofbeats, the big sky and mountain peaks stretched out in front of them.

I look over at Fletcher trotting beside me, his ears perked up and focused on Rachel as she gets a bigger and bigger lead.

“You ready cow dog?” I ask him.

He wags his tail.

And I join in the chase.

In a hot second, Polly is up to a gallop under my saddle and we’re flying down the slope after her. The reins are slack as I lean forward, one hand holding down my hat, Polly’s ears pinned back as she’s given ‘er.

I can’t wipe the smile from my face, the pure joy that filters through me like sunshine as I chase down my love. It’s all open spaces and heat and horses and heart. That girl has my fucking heart.

“You can’t get rid of me that easily,” I yell at her as I start to catch up. She may have had the headstart but Polly is as fast as a thoroughbred and streamlined like a whip. Soon we’re overtaking them and I’m laughing into the sky as I pull Polly around in a circle, going around them.

“Fuck you,” Rachel says but she’s smiling uncontrollably. “You’re literally riding circles around me.”

“Trying to ensure you won’t ride off again.”

“Don’t give me any reasons,” she retorts as we both slow to a trot, then a walk.

“Don’t spook so easily.”

“Spook?” she says. “Please.”

“What? You’ve been all jumpy ever since I tongue-fucked you.”

She balks at that, looking at me with an open mouth. “Shane.”

“What?”

“That’s no way to speak to a lady.”

I grin at her. “You ain’t no lady.”

“Fucker.”

“I stand corrected. Besides, I remember you used to like the dirty talk.”

Her cheeks flush and she pulls down at the brim of her hat to cover her face.

“You did say I’d gotten bold,” I add. “I reckon you might just like it.”

“Stop,” she says, sounding exasperated. “Let’s just put all that past us.”

“Why should we do that? You have something against orgasms? You used to never get your fill. Greedy little thing you were.”

Another sharp look. “Because. I told you. It’s complicating things.”

“Funny,” I say, gesturing between the two of us riding side-by-side, Fletcher loping on the outskirts and the wild land beyond, “this seems like the easiest thing on earth. Just you and me. Out here. It’s where we both belong.”

“It’s where you belong,” she says softly.

“And you belong with me.”

“Shane…”

I sigh. “Look, I know I’m coming on strong and I know you think things are getting complicated but…you need to give me a chance.”

“A chance?”

I gnaw on my lip, wondering how to proceed. How to lay everything bare. It seemed so easy last night but that was everything from the past. It’s the present that matters most.

“A second chance,” I tell her. “There’s nothing stopping you anymore.”

“Are you serious? Shane. I can’t just…uproot my whole life. Maybe Samuel and I broke up, okay fine. And maybe I’m not happy in Toronto or with my job and maybe I won’t even have a fucking job when I get back home but…I have to go back home.”

I shake my head, my heart feeling tight. “No. You don’t have to.”

“Shane.”

“Damnit, Rachel,” I tell her, bouncing a fist off the saddle horn as the frustration rolls through me. I shouldn’t be getting mad but I can’t help it. “This isn’t over. You know it isn’t. You can’t just come here and tell me that I’m not worth another chance. You can’t pretend that you don’t want me, need me. Fucking hell, I’ve been needing and wanting you every single day since you left and I refuse to believe that you haven’t felt the same way. Yeah, I fucked up but it’s over. You know the truth now and it’s over.”

“You think I can just turn it off?” she snaps. “While you’ve been so-called pining for me, I’ve been fucking hating you.”

Her words cut like paper, quick with a deep sting. “Ouch.”

“Well I’m sorry,” she says. “But you ruined me and I know we’ve been over this but I can’t just forget that it ever happened!”

“But you have to. You have to if you ever want to move on. You have to let it all go.”

“You try being in my shoes. I get it that you broke your own heart when you broke mine and I feel for you but you weren’t in my shoes. What you’re asking me to do isn’t easy.”

“I know it isn’t, I know. But aren’t I still worth trying for?”

She presses her lips together and looks off and my heart, it fucking sinks.

Maybe I’m not worth it in the end.

“You know what,” I tell her. “It’s fine. I get it. I’ll back off.”

She exhales, her shoulders slumping. “This was a mistake.”

Whether she means coming along on the ride or coming to North Ridge in general, I don’t know. All the options hurt.

We ride for the next few hours in silence, the air heavy and thick with tension that neither of us seem to shake. Even the horses are on edge, their ears flicking back and forth, giving nervous snorts.

As we approach September, the days are getting shorter. It’s seven o’clock and the sun will be going down in an hour or so. I’ve seen signs of the herd but haven’t actually seen them and it looks like we’ll be spending the night.

One long, awkward night, I’m betting. I only have one sleeping bag. Seemed like a good idea a few hours ago.

“We’ll ride for a bit more,” I tell Rachel as we skirt alongside a green lake, a forest of pine on the other side. The elevation here is higher and there’s a bit of bite to the air. “Then set up camp.”

I can tell she’s nervous about the whole thing and I don’t think it has to do with being alone with me. I’m not sure if she’s ever been out in the wilderness overnight. For me, it’s pretty much second nature.

“I need to go pee,” she says, pulling up Sybil to a halt and looking around. In front of us a patch of alder and shrubs lead into the hill of pine.

“I promise I won’t look,” I tell her, ready to shield my eyes.

But she dismounts and fishes some toilet paper out of the saddle bag I’d given her and heads out into the trees, not even looking my way. I don’t know how she’s still mad at me or even what for but time doesn’t seem to be helping.