“Exactly,” I say pointing a finger in her direction. “The last few years weren’t great before we broke up. I was traveling, and she was living here doing some ski instruction. She started seeing someone else, and when I found out about it, I wasn’t all that broken up. I think it all just sort of withered up and died from neglect, but I recognize my part in that for sure. I pushed her so hard that she became bitter. On top of that, I was traveling a lot for competitions, and we were apart most of the time because she wasn’t skiing at my level. So, the way she looks at it is that I pushed her right at someone else.”
“That doesn’t excuse cheating,” Cat says hotly. “If she didn’t respect the relationship, she should have ended it.”
Again, I shrug. She’s not telling me anything I haven’t thought about more than a time or two since we broke up almost four years ago. “I agree. But I’ve let it go. And I learned from it.”
“That you shouldn’t rescue damsels in distress,” Cat says, and I can tell by the pointed look on her face she’s talking about herself.
“No, that’s not what I learned,” I tell her with a censuring look. “A good man always helps a woman if she needs it. But I learned that sometimes my definition of who needs help is different from others. In Tarryn’s case, she didn’t need what I was pushing on her, and since I can practically see that beautiful brain of yours trying to work out how this means I view you, let me assure you, two nights ago, you needed rescuing. You needed a hand up, so I gave it to you. That’s all it was, Cat. Plain and simple.”
“So none of your attraction to me has to do with the fact that you see me as lost and needing rescued?”
“I was attracted to you long before I found you sleeping in your car, Cat. Hell, I’ve even fantasized about you when I was getting my dick sucked by another girl.” I lean forward and put my forearms on the table, staring at her hard so she understands what I’m saying. “But I’m not going to lie either. I couldn’t stand to see you hurt and alone. If that’s my white-knight complex, so fucking be it. It brought me into your life on a deeper level. But most assuredly, the reason I was jacking off in the shower to you, and the reason I think I’ll be fucking you repetitively tonight, is that I find you fascinating and attractive on more than just a physical level. If it was just physical, I’d be at The Silo right now instead of my mouth watering to get back on your * again.”
Cat sort of rears backward in her chair and blinks at me in confusion. “You find me fascinating?”
“You’re smart, tough as nails, and resilient. You have a wicked sense of humor, although I’d like to see more of it. You cook a pretty damn good meatloaf and survived an intolerable situation with plenty of grace intact. Oh, and you give the best blow job I’ve ever had in my life.”
She giggles over that last part, which is exactly what I was hoping for. It wasn’t a lie about it being the best blow job ever, but I knew it would lighten the seriousness of what I was saying.
“Look, Cat,” I say, causing her giggles to dry up, but she looks at me through smiling eyes. “I like you. I think you like me. I think we sure as hell like fucking each other. You’ve got a place to stay until you get on your feet, so the pressure is off. Let’s enjoy this and see where it goes, okay? I could totally be on board with us going at it with each other every night.”
“Are you saying you want to be exclusive?” she asks hesitantly, the smile dying instantly and her lips flattening out.
Well fuck… maybe I was reading her wrong. Maybe she can’t give up the gang bang or something.
“Well, if that’s not something you’re interested in—”
“Okay, let’s do it,” she blurts out.
“Be exclusive?” I ask, just so I make sure we’re on the same page. I know what it’s like to be on the very opposite page from where you think someone is.
“Yes,” is all she says.
“What about The Silo?” I cautiously ask.
“That was never really my thing,” she says sadly, and it makes my heart squeeze in pain that her asshole husband made her do that. “I only went back after he died because it was at least something I knew, and I didn’t feel so alone there.”
“Then it’s agreed… we take a break from The Silo,” I reassure her. Of course, I’d have to get with Bridger and explain to him that I was taking a hiatus. I’m only a part-time Fantasy Maker there, so I won’t even be missed. Plus, I know he won’t begrudge me this.
Whatever this is, but I’m rolling with it.
Cat stands up from the table and picks up both plates. I stand as well, quickly taking them from her hands. “You cooked so I clean.”
“Not going to argue there,” she says smugly and sits back down.
I intend on making quick work of the kitchen because now that I’ve disclosed my baggage with Tarryn—which admittedly pales in comparison to hers with her dead husband—I really, really want to get back to the business of sex with this gorgeous creature.