He’s so worked up he’s panting, and my heart is pounding so furiously it takes a moment for me to understand what I’ve just heard. When it sinks in, a flash of anger runs up my spine. “What?!”
He steps forward, but if he touches me right now, I don’t know what I’ll do. I turn and walk to the far side of the living room.
“Everything I just said at the press conference,” he says, his voice softer as he watches me with wary eyes. “All of that stuff about only ever having loved one woman in my whole life. It was about you. God, Liss. Don’t you understand? It’s only ever been you.” He stares at me, as if he’s waiting for me to explode. I don’t. I’m too shell-shocked to even move, apart from hugging the wine bottle so tightly to my chest it hurts. When the silence becomes uncomfortable, he comes inside and gently closes the door. Then he just stands there for a few seconds, one hand on the handle, his other hanging limply at his side.
“When I got home last night,” he says, staring at the floor, “Anthony was waiting with those photos. A friend of his at TMZ had tipped him off they were about to hit, and he was pissed. Seriously pissed. Can’t say I blamed him. What I did with you was stupid. Not the kissing part, because I couldn’t regret that if you put a gun to my head. But doing it out in the open? That was dumb. After the thing at Jamie’s grave, I should have known I was being followed, that that asshole from the bar would have been on us the moment we stepped into the street.”
He rubs his face. “Anthony kept drilling me about your identity. Said that if we threw you to the wolves, it would take some of the heat off me. Of course, there was no way in hell I was going to do that, so I denied everything, even though it killed me.” He looks over at me, regret coloring every feature. “Anthony’s been watching me like a hawk all day, making sure I didn’t do anything to make it worse. That’s why I didn’t warn you. Just before the press conference, I snuck out to the bathroom to try to call you and explain, but your phone was off. I’m so sorry.”
I suddenly know how Alice must have felt on the other side of the looking glass. I feel like I’m in Bizarro World. This is completely surreal. “But, you and Angel—”
“Aren’t engaged. We never have been. We’ve never even had sex. The whole thing was set up to generate publicity.”
He watches me carefully. Gauging my reaction. I don’t know how long I stand there, disbelief all over my face. It must be a while because eventually he says, “Jesus, Liss. Please say something. Anything. Just . . . react.”
I take a breath as I attempt to process it all. I can’t. It’s so ridiculous, my brain has seized. “So you’ve been lying? To me? To the entire world? For years?”
“Elissa, I’m sorry.”
Incredulity floods my body, followed by fury. Suddenly, I have a lot to say, and all of it is accompanied by huge messy emotions that make my voice loud and my cheeks wet. “Do you have any idea how much you hurt me? How devastated I was six years ago when I saw pictures of you and Angel together? How much you hurt me today when it seemed you were choosing her all over again? And now you’re telling me it was all a goddamn publicity stunt?!” I slam the wine bottle down on the table so hard, Liam flinches.
As I try to calm down, he stands there, guilt and regret filling his eyes. When he steps forward, I step back. He puts his hands out like he’s trying to placate a wild animal.
“When I was offered Rageheart,” he says, patiently, “the producers told me I had to agree to their bullshit fauxmance or lose the job. I wanted to tell them to shove it, but I needed that movie to get Mom and Dad out of debt. After all the lawsuits, they were drowning. Anthony assured me this sort of thing happens all the time and would be over before I knew it, so I agreed.” He looks at the ground. “I couldn’t tell you. The nondisclosure contract was brutal. Plus, I was ashamed. I’d sold out in the biggest way possible, and I knew it.”
“That’s a piece-of-shit excuse, Liam! You loved me and I loved you. We could have made it work.”
His shoulders fall. “No, we couldn’t. Can you truly say you would have been happy sneaking around behind the scenes while I pretended Angel was the love of my life? You would have felt like a dirty secret. And after a while, you would have resented me for it.”
“So, instead, you decided to rip my heart out? Use my worst fear against me?”
He swallows and drops his head. “I knew signing that contract meant hurting you, and losing you, but my parents had been struggling for years. It was starting to take a toll on my dad’s health. And the families of those who died in the accident were struggling, too. I felt like I owed them, for Jamie’s sake. In some sick way, I thought the good outweighed the bad. I knew you and I would be miserable, but I also knew that a lot of other people would get the help they needed.”