LOVE AND LOBSTERS
Fresh from a hot shower and wrapped in my favorite robe, I flop onto the couch and turn on my phone. Immediately, a slew of message alerts rings out. Most of the numbers I don’t recognize, so I figure they’re reporters and ignore them. When I see that Liam’s tried to call me fifteen times, I grip the phone so hard, I almost crack the glass. I throw the phone onto the couch and head into the kitchen. There’s only half a bottle of red wine left, but my name is written all over it. I don’t even bother with a glass.
After taking a giant swig, I go back to the couch and turn on the TV. Of course, the first thing that comes on is an entertainment show about the Angeliam scandal.
“Geez, Universe,” I mutter at the screen. “I usually like some foreplay before I’m fucked this thoroughly. You could at least buy me dinner.”
I sit there like a zombie and watch as the media circus covers the scandal. It’s the Angeliampocalypse, complete with teary fan interviews, Hollywood insiders speculating about the future of the golden couple, and an actual graph predicting how much retail sales of Rageheart will suffer or soar if they split. They’ll soar, by the way.
I don’t even know why I’m watching. Stupidity? Sick curiosity? Flat-out masochism? After trusting Liam again, I guess I deserve punishment.
On the screen, Angel and Liam emerge from our rehearsal building and face the barrage of yelling reporters and flashbulbs. They’re holding hands. Liam looks gorgeous and contrite. Angel looks gorgeous and devastated. Liam says everything Anthony told him to. He’s on the verge of tears the whole time, which leads me to believe he’s either genuinely sorry for his actions or needs to win a damn Oscar in the near future.
I hate how choked up I get when he says, “For my whole life, I’ve only loved one woman. And I’m sickened that my thoughtless and selfish actions have hurt her. I can only hope that one day, she’ll understand I just want to be with her, and find a way to forgive me.”
He looks right through the camera when he says it, and his performance is so sincere and touching that by the end, even I’m rooting for him and Angel to make it through this clusterfuck.
Jesus Christ, I need more wine.
I take two big mouthfuls, then flip the channel over to a rerun of Friends. Phoebe is explaining how Rachel and Ross are soul mates. “She’s your lobster,” she says to Ross. “It’s a known fact lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You can actually see old lobster couples walking around their tank, holding claws.”
I wonder what Phoebe would say if I told her that my lobster didn’t pick me. He’s decided to stay with the gorgeous redheaded lobster whose legs are longer than my whole body. So, do I get to choose another lobster now, or is that it? I’m to go through life forever lobsterless?
Without warning, tears well up and spill onto my cheeks. I swipe them away impatiently. “Fuck you and lobsters everywhere, Phoebe. Fuck . . . you.”
I don’t know how long I wallow and stare at the television. Long enough to finish the wine, anyway. I’m considering going out to buy more when there’s a knock at the door.
Dammit. Josh forgets his key more often than he remembers it. Guess Angel didn’t need him to console her after all.
I stomp over to the door and pull it open. “You’re hopeless, you know that—?”
Instead of Josh, Liam’s standing there, looking more wretched than I feel, if that’s possible.
“Liss, you have to know that—”
“Go home.”
I try to close the door, but he stops it with his hand. “Wait. Let me explain.”
“No need. You’ve made your feelings clear. It was a mistake. It meant nothing.”
“Please, just listen to me—”
“I’m done listening to you, Liam! The only thing listening to you ever got me was hurt. Why the hell do you keep coming back to torture me? You made your choice, and it’s not me. Again! I get it!”
“No, you don’t! That’s the trouble. This situation is complicated.”
“Oh, really? Because it seems pretty simple: You’re an asshole. And I’m an idiot for believing you. I thought I knew every douche line out there, but you had me totally fooled.”
“I wasn’t feeding you a line! I meant every word I said to you yesterday. I want to be with you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
“How stupid do you think I am? You just stood in front of the world and reaffirmed your love for your fiancée!”
He slaps his hands against the door frame so hard it makes me jump. “No I didn’t! I don’t have a fiancée! I have a fucking contract that forces me to pretend to be engaged to Angel, but that’s it! Our relationship is manufactured bullshit!”