“Lots of actors do it.”
“And lots don’t, and it seems I have a talent for choosing the ones who can’t separate fantasy from reality. That’s why I didn’t want to get close to you. I couldn’t cope with being collateral damage again.”
He sits up and frowns at me. “So what you’re saying is that if we were in a relationship, I’d naturally develop feelings for my leading lady and dump you?”
“History would suggest yes.”
“My unbelievable attraction to you would suggest no fucking way.”
“Attraction fades.”
“Wrong. Lust fades. Attraction keeps people together long after lust is just a distant memory.”
“And what makes you think that what you feel for me isn’t just lust?”
He cups my cheek. “Because I’ve lusted after a lot of girls in my life, and let me tell you, not once did it feel like this.”
He leans down and kisses me gently, and I know he’s right. A simple brush of his lips may be enough to set my whole body on fire, but beneath that simmer is something else. A feeling of rightness. Hell, I’d even go so far as to entertain his romantic concept of fate if I wasn’t so stubborn. But how can fate call him to Hollywood as well as make it feel like he’s mine? That’s not even a little fair.
I pull back, and he sighs. “If I wasn’t leaving I could prove to you that not all actors are abandoning assholes.”
“And yet, you’re about to abandon me.”
“Totally different.”
“I know. But it still sucks.” Thinking about it makes an unexpected lump form in my throat.
“Yeah, it does.” He’s quiet for a moment, then asks, “Will you miss me?”
I want to say no, because admitting how much I’m going to miss him is crazy. Instead, I force a smile. “I’m sure we’ll both be so busy we won’t have time to dwell on it.”
He nods. “Yeah. Sure. Dwelling would be bad.” He crosses his arms over his chest and stares at the wall, a deep frown furrowing his brows. The openness from earlier has vanished. “Maybe I’ll bomb in Hollywood and be back here before you know it.”
I’m an asshole for wishing that would happen, but I know very well it won’t. “Liam, Hollywood is going to lose its mind as soon as you arrive. I have no doubt. And when you’re a big star, I’ll be able to say I knew you when.”
He doesn’t answer, but his frown deepens. When I climb out of bed to gather my clothes, he doesn’t try to stop me. I quickly retreat into the bathroom.
Okay, Elissa, get it together.
You’re fine. He’s fine. Everything’s fine.
He’ll leave, and you’ll forget about him, and everything will go back to normal. Stop freaking out.
After a warm shower, I exit to find him sitting on the bed with his head in his hands, wearing only his jeans. When he sees me, the look in his eyes almost makes everything not-fine.
“Elissa, listen—” But I’m sure if I do that, I won’t get out of here in one piece.
“Liam, I really do have to go. Thanks for . . . everything.” All the orgasms, and kisses, and deep, longing gazes. Thanks for screwing with my mind and heart as much as with my body.
I finish pulling on my socks and boots and grab my messenger bag.
When I stand, he walks over and puts his arms around me. Such a simple gesture, but the affection with which he does it makes me sigh.
He drops his head onto my shoulder and squeezes me in a tight hug. “I don’t want this to be the end for us.”
I grip his arms, and try to bring him closer. “I don’t either, but we’re going to be on opposite sides of the country. I don’t know about you, but I couldn’t cope with that if you were my boyfriend. It would be torture.”
He pulls back and gazes down at me. “True. If I were your boyfriend I’d definitely need to not be away from you. Ever.” He cups my face and slowly leans down. “I’d need to be close enough to do this, every . . . single . . . day.”
He kisses me, soft and slow, and I’ve never wanted to live in a moment more than I want to live in this one.
“Liss, tell me not to leave. Please. I’d stay if you asked me to.”
“You know you can’t. And if you gave up this opportunity for me, I’d never forgive myself.” Fingers graze over my arms, and I shiver. “Anyway, there are thousands of beautiful women in L.A. I’m sure you’ll forget about me in no time.”
“Not going to happen. Ever. Trust me on that.” He kisses me again, but this time, it’s hard and desperate.
After a few more frantic minutes, we pull back, and we’re both breathing heavily. It would be so easy to let things get out of control, but we both know there’s no point in taking this further. The kiss, or the relationship.
Standing on my toes, I give him one final hug before pulling away. I hate how the distance between us suddenly makes everything feel cold.