Where the Memories Lie

 

When I entered Tom’s room he was wearing thick green cord trousers, a shirt buttoned up wrong and a pair of his walking boots that didn’t get much use anymore. He sat in the high-backed chair again, staring out of the window at the grounds. By now, he had trouble dressing himself most days and the nurses helped, although he often tried to redo what they’d already done, hence the odd buttons. Sometimes he forgot to go to the toilet, too, and had to be changed more than once in a day. If he could see himself now he’d be so degraded.

 

‘Hi, Tom.’ I kissed his cheek. ‘How are you today?’

 

‘Olivia.’ His eyes lit up. ‘Lovely to see you again. Are we going to Durdle Door? I’ve been waiting all morning.’

 

‘You remembered?’ I grinned. It seemed to be so random now, the things he remembered and the things he didn’t. ‘Yes. Let’s get going, shall we?’

 

35

 

Sibel Hodge

 

He steadied himself on the edge of his chair with one hand while I took his other and helped him up.

 

After we walked down the corridor and out of the entrance, I settled him in my Mini. Once it would’ve been a tight squeeze for him to fit in. Not anymore.

 

‘How’s Anna?’ he asked, looking out the window.

 

‘She’s absolutely fine. She’s busy with schoolwork but they break up for summer holidays soon.’ I glanced over.

 

‘She’s a good girl.’ He smiled at me.

 

‘She is indeed. I’m very proud of her. I keep waiting for her to turn into a terrible teen.’

 

He laughed. ‘Like Ethan and Chris, you mean?’

 

‘They weren’t terrible.’

 

‘They had their moments.’ He sighed with contentment, as if remembering their childhood. ‘Nadia was always the good one.’

 

‘What about Chris? He was so into boxing, he didn’t have time for much else.’ Except Katie, I thought. At one time, he was completely in love with her. The only woman I’d seen him fall head over heels for until his wife Abby. Ex-wife, I should say.

 

‘Chris came to see me. He said his divorce came through.’ He shook his head sadly. ‘Shame he couldn’t give her a child.’

 

Abby had always wanted kids. Longed for a big brood. After she and Chris got married, they tried madly, the same as me and Ethan, but although I eventually gave birth to Anna, it still didn’t happen for them and the strain of IVF and fertility treatment took its toll eventually. I felt for her, I really did. She went a little crazy with the anxiety and stress of it all, and I knew what that was like.

 

‘Where’s Eve? She hasn’t been to see me.’

 

I stiffened, not wanting to bring it all back. Every time we had to explain Eve was dead, Tom got hit by a new wave of grief, as fresh as when it had first happened. We all thought it was best not to tell him anymore if he didn’t remember it himself.

 

36

 

Where the Memories Lie ‘That’s right. She went to Spain on holiday, didn’t she?’ he carried on, forehead crinkled up, thinking. ‘Oh, it’s nice in Spain.’

 

He shrugged and glanced back out of the window. ‘They have these strange bits and pieces of dinner. Taps.’

 

‘Tapas. Yes, they’re lovely.

 

‘Something was rubbery.’

 

‘Squid, probably.’

 

As we pulled up in the car park at the top of the cliffs half an hour later, a little boy and his dad were flying a kite in the shape of something robotic.

 

Tom sat for a while, watching them. ‘I remember Chris had a kite. Ethan hated them. Said they were for . . . for . . .’ He looked blank for a moment. ‘For turtles.’

 

‘Do you remember when you taught Anna how to fly a kite?’

 

I said, hoping he didn’t notice his slip-up. ‘You took her up on top of the hills behind the barn.’

 

‘Yes, she wanted one with a cartoon character on it, didn’t she?’

 

He smiled fondly.

 

‘SpongeBob SquarePants.’ I chuckled.