At another stoplight, I met the intensity of his gaze. I knew in that moment, this untouchable boy was the most vulnerable he’d ever been. Splayed open wide. For the briefest flash of a second, everything exposed to be seen. As if he were pleading for a reprieve from his demons. For a real chance to be touched.
“I hid because when I ran, I ran for my life.” My words cracked. “And I never believed in all that time it was safe to turn around.”
Faster than I could process, his big hand was on the back of my head, his thumb running along my jaw. “I’ll keep you safe, Blue. No one’s gonna hurt you. Not ever again.”
We stared at each other, both of us prisoners to whatever was happening around us. Binding us. We jumped with the blare of the horn coming from behind.
Lyrik jerked his hand away and accelerated.
Silence filled the cab, restless and agitated.
We both knew he’d crossed an invisible line. I’ll keep you safe, Blue. No one’s gonna hurt you. Not ever again.
I stared out the window at the neighborhoods we passed. The homes had become smaller, interspersed by apartment buildings that appeared a bit rundown as we drew closer to Long Beach.
Lyrik’s wistful sigh broke the tension. “Man, do these streets bring back memories. Me and all the guys, nothing more than punks running them, dreaming big. None of us could wait to get out of this place. Thought the world had so much more to offer us. Funny how heading back always feels like coming home.”
Looking over at him, I tried to picture him as a boy. “I bet you caused all sorts of trouble.”
He laughed. “Always. Wouldn’t expect anything less from me, would you?”
“Never.” I said it like saying otherwise would be an offense.
He sighed again. This time heavier. “Learned so much on these streets. About life and who I wanted to be. It’s where I fucked it all up, too.”
He turned the truck down a narrow street lined with tiny houses of every color. Many of them appeared to have been refurbished. Flipped. Surely stamped with a pretty price tag with the draw of the beaches nearby.
Others were worn and faded, run down with years of neglect.
He pointed to a light blue house. “That was Ash’s place before his parents moved back to Ohio. Spent most of our teenage years in his garage. Writing songs. Getting high. Living the life while we dreamed of making ours. Seemed so easy back then.”
I wondered when and how it’d gotten out of control.
I didn’t pretend not to know the guys were rough.
Sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll.
That was the one catchphrase synonymous with their name. And it wasn’t just rumor. There was no hiding the history of arrests, of overdoses, and the death of their drummer.
But Lyrik kept it all so close to the vest. Isolated and concealed.
About a quarter mile down the road, Lyrik pulled up to the curb in front of a small pink house with white eaves. A tidy lawn stretched between the house and road, and two sprawling trees shaded the front.
A soft smile tugged at my mouth.
This house seemed somewhere between re-fabbed and rundown.
Lived in and loved.
“This is it,” Lyrik said as he killed the engine.
Nerves tightened my stomach.
“Are you sure this isn’t weird?” I couldn’t help but go back to the same question I’d asked early this morning.
Funny, that seemed like an age ago.
“Nah…they’re good people. You’ll love them.”
I nodded and pulled the door handle, just as the front door flew open and a little girl who had to be about Kallie’s age came dashing out.
Brown hair in pigtails.
Smile a mile wide.
This time it was my heart’s turn to tighten.
Lyrik was already rounding the front of the truck, going straight for her. She bolted toward him. Scooping her up under the arms, he tossed her into the air. She squealed, her sweet voice filling the air. “Uncle ’Lik,” she cried as she scrambled to lock her arms around his neck.
“There’s my girl,” he said, kissing her cheek, nuzzling the side of her face, so at ease with this child it took my breath away. “I’ve been missing you like crazy, Penny Pie.”
“I been missin’ you, too.”
Feeling out of sorts, I quietly latched my door shut behind me as I stepped onto the sidewalk, trying not to draw any attention to myself.
“Who’s dat?” she asked.
Turning my direction, Lyrik hooked the little girl on his hip. “That there is my Blue.”
My Blue.
Oh God.
He really was trying to wreck me.
“Bwue? That’s a funny name.”
“Not as funny as Penny.” He tapped her nose.
She howled with laughter, squirming all over the place as he tickled her.
Slowly I approached. I stretched my hand out in front of me as I did.
Right.
Okay.
Was I really going to introduce myself by shaking a little girl’s hand? Maybe I really had been hiding out in the bar for too long.
I pulled back my hand and gave her a small wave instead. “Hi there, Penny. It’s really nice to meet you.”
Shyly, she peered at me from where she had her head buried under Lyrik’s chin with eyes that were almost as dark as his.