The air grew thick. A charged intensity shimmered through the room. It only added to my agitation.
The girl was doing her best to completely destroy me.
“Go,” I gritted out.
I squeezed my eyes closed.
Shuttin’ the world out.
It was for the fucking best. And I sure as hell didn’t need her to see me this way.
Pissed and vulnerable and hurting. But it seemed ever since she made her way into my life, all of it was there, just simmering below the surface.
High heels clicked on the wooden floor. Blood pulsed through my veins, harsh and hard. Beating faster and faster with every step of her slow, guarded approach.
My lungs squeezed.
She hesitated, her presence full and soothing and probably one of the damned most frightening things I’d ever felt.
I couldn’t do this. I needed to fucking stop before I fucked this up more than I already had. Before my guilt grew greater and I had nothing left to stand on.
She wrapped her arms around me from behind.
I stuttered out a breath.
God, she felt so good.
She pressed her face to the middle of my back.
“It goes both ways, you know.” Her voice swam through the room, honey and warmth. My body processed it like a song.
“I was so alone. Not just lonely, Lyrik. But alone. Hollow. Without anyone who understood. And then there was you…this beautiful, terrifying man who was pushing his way into my life. Demanding I let him see me for who I really was and not what everyone else saw. Now I’m standing here begging him to invite me into his. To let me see.”
I gripped her hands that held tight to my stomach. “You can’t go there, Blue.”
Over my shirt, she scattered a bunch of light kisses across my back. Still, they singed and scorched and seared.
Scarring as she silently begged.
“Blue.” I took her by one wrist and pulled her in front of me. “You walk into the room…”
I swallowed over the lump in my throat when I saw the complete understanding on her face. Lifting her, I set her on the edge of the island and forced my way between her legs that were eager to accept me.
I cupped her face. “You walk in the room and I don’t recognize myself. I forget who I am. Forget who I’m supposed to be.”
Blue eyes searched my face and she flattened her palm across my racing heart. “Maybe you’re finally beginning to see who you really are.” Her voice softened. “The man I see when I look at you.”
My mouth came down hard on hers to stop her from talking.
I drove my fingers into all that silky red.
I kissed her mad.
Just like she was driving me.
Tongue and teeth and desperation.
Fuck.
This was stupid.
Needing her this way.
But I felt like if I moved back even a fraction, I wouldn’t be able to breathe. That if I let any space come between us, it would be the end. That without this I couldn’t take one more step.
Which was why I should walk the fuck away.
Instead I slid my hands down her sides and wrapped her legs around my waist. She sighed a greedy sigh and crossed her ankles at my lower back.
Then the girl rubbed herself on my straining dick.
Torment roared like the howl of a wildfire in my ears.
Deafening, consuming flames.
But this fire?
It felt so fucking good, I couldn’t let it go. Not when I had it for these moments that were fleeting fast.
I lifted her from the island and carried her toward the narrow second set of stairs leading from the kitchen.
She clutched my shoulders and held on tighter. “Where are we going?”
“Upstairs,” I mumbled at her mouth, refusing to come up for air because I might lose this. I might lose the feeling that I had something real for the first time in what seemed forever.
Fingertips dug into the base of my neck. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“I think it’s a very fucking good idea,” I grunted at her mouth. My cock begging at the seam of her jeans seemed proof enough.
I pressed her harder against me, loving that was all it took to make her moan.
I needed her. Needed her touch and her smile and her panted breaths.
“I want to make you come.”
She whimpered a sound that shouted yes, while her words poured out their reluctance. “That’s not going to erase whatever just happened back there. Talk to me. Please.”
I kept kissing her as I took the stairs. Erase. That’s what I was going to do. And I was going to write myself over that bastard’s blemish. Over the anguish and damage and ruin.
For once…for once I wanted to have something good to offer.
I wanted to offer it to her.
Every remnant of what I had left to give.
Her fingers dug deeper and her nails sank into my skin.
And I knew…I knew she wanted to give it, too. But the difference between us was I didn’t ever want to forget.
I hit the landing of the stairs at the back of the hall and fumbled with the knob of the door at the end. It knocked open and I was quick to kick it shut. The drapes on the windows facing out back were drawn open wide.
I laid her in the center of the bed and stood at the side.
“Whose room is this?” she whispered into the quiet.