If Felix wanted Ellie to know, he would have told her. It’s probably not fair to make her worry. But, based on the way she’s looking at me, I think that ship has left the harbor. “Don’t tell your dad I told you, okay? But I accidentally saw some papers that make it seem like we’re a little . . . behind on payments.”
“Huh.” The fire reflects back in her dark eyes. “I didn’t know. I had no idea.”
“I don’t want your dad to know that I know, but I’m trying to figure out what I can do.”
She nods slowly. I understand how hard it is to process. I didn’t think about money, let alone worry about it, for almost sixteen years of my life. Worrying about money makes you old. Eventually, she gives a wispy sigh. “Well, I want to help. I’ll try to come up with some ideas, too.”
“Without your dad knowing.”
Ellie gives me a smile, like she understands that this is about protecting him. And, somehow, my dad, too. “Without my dad knowing.”
The skinny-dippers are back near the bonfire now, pooling around the shore to get dressed. It’s a miracle no one stole the clothes. A voluptuous blonde is turning cartwheels in her bra and panties—a thong, no less. Ah, yes. My girlfriend, bare-assed in front of everyone I know. I want to jump into the bonfire.
“So,” I say, trying to sound like I think it’s funny. “That’s Vivi.”
Ellie laughs, and I expect her to give me a look of judgment—I feel like I deserve to be judged—but her kind smile remains. “Good for her. I’d totally do it. Skinny-dipping, I mean. But Diego’s stupid friends are here, and they’d probably tattle to my parents. Maybe next year.”
I smile over at her. Maybe I’m being judgmental. Vivi’s having fun—that’s all. “I think she’s had more than a few beers. Sorry she was kind of weird to you earlier.”
Ellie waves my apology off. She looks all around us for a moment, at the people laughing, at our town. “Do you remember last summer, us talking about leaving Verona Cove?”
“Yeah.” We were closing up, wiping down tables at the restaurant.
She’s watching my face in the firelight. “Do you still feel that way? Even on nights like tonight?”
I nod. We’d both admitted that we want to leave after high school. That we love our families. We love the people and knowing a place so well. But, as Ellie put it, sometimes you can’t breathe. “And I feel guiltier than ever, you know? How could I want to leave the place . . . my dad . . . ?”
“He’d want you to.” She gathers her skirt to stand up. “We can always come back! See what’s out there. It’ll still be here. Well, I’ll see you soon.”
She’s probably smart to leave before Vivi gets back. When I look around, I find Vivi posing for a picture with someone I don’t even recognize. Wearing just her bra and underwear. That’s it. I haven’t seen how much she’s had to drink, but clearly too much.
I walk up, unamused, but she’s bubbling over as she buttons her shorts. “Hey! Ahh, that was such a rush—you seriously missed out, Jonah, I mean it.”
Her charming ball of energy routine isn’t going to work on me. I’m embarrassed and mad. “Great. We need to go home now.”
“No! What? No way, it’s just getting fun.”
I drop my voice to a whisper. “Viv, you’re drunk. And I think we need to leave. Before any more people have almost-nude pics of you.”
“Excuse me.” She snaps her fingers at her sides, over and over, and I keep expecting to smell the booze on her. Her eyes look bleary, like she’s struggling to focus. “I’m not a child, and it’s my body, and I can run wild if I damn well please, and screw you for judging me. What do you care what I do, anyway? You’re so busy flirting with Ellie.”
This stuns me. I stand mute. “That’s not what it’s like at all.”
She makes a disgusted face. “Ellie. It sounds like a little kid’s name.”
“Short for Eliana.” Shit, I think, seeing Vivi’s eyes narrow. Should have kept my mouth shut.
“Well, isn’t that special. What’s her middle name? What’s her favorite color? Do you just know everything about her?”
Now I’m just mad and swinging back. “Carmen, green, and you’re being ridiculous. C’mon, we’re leaving.”
This was the wrong thing to say, too. I never say the right thing.
“No, no, no!” Her voice is so loud that my face goes hot. “I can’t even look at you right now, with the way you’re behaving, Jonah; truly, it’s not okay.”
“Feeling’s mutual, Viv,” I whisper. “But I’m not leaving you here by yourself, wasted.”
“Damn right you’re not. I’m leaving you here, non-wasted.” Before I can get even a single word in, she takes off skipping toward the hill that leads back up toward town. I don’t bother to call out to her. I don’t bother to follow. So much for putting on a good show at the bonfire. People have totally noticed our conversation, staring as Vivi takes off.
I stalk toward home, my sister’s words echoing in my head. I just want to survive this endless, fucking awful year.
I’m not sure how long I’ve been asleep when I hear the latch on my bedroom door.