“I don’t really know what to say now, I feel pretty stupid talking to a slab of marble. I guess… I guess I just needed to be close to you.” I look down and play with my fingers. “I know I was never the perfect son, hell, I’ve made more mistakes in my twenty-five years than I’d like to admit. But I hope you know how much I loved you, fuck this is hard!”
I wipe at my face and look up at her headstone once again. “I’m gonna head on out now, but I’ll be back soon, I promise.”
I was so broken after she passed away and I found that coming here helped me heal a little. I look up and see the same distraught expression on Jacques’s face that must’ve been on mine that first time. I lean against a nearby tree and watch as Jacques talks animatedly, he laughs and then his face turns to anguish as he seems to whisper something, running his fingertips over the top of the headstone again. I take this as my cue to join him again.
“You ready to go?”
He looks at me, looking paler than he did earlier. “Yeah, I think so.”
He gets up and turns and walks away, leaving me to say bye to mom. I kiss my fingertips, place them on top of the headstone, and whisper that I love her, telling her I’ll be back to see her real soon.
As I approach my bike, Jacques doesn’t look at me, he keeps his head facing the other way and I don’t try talking to him, knowing he needs this time to process things. And by the look of things, he still isn’t feeling all too clever after last night.
We ride back to the clubhouse in silence but on arrival, there’s a crowd of brothers all shouting the odds off in the car park.
“You can’t fuckin’ do this, Taz.”
“It’s not your clubhouse, Taz.”
And then the familiar voice of my best friend, Smokey, chimes in. “Open the fuckin’ door, Taz, or I’ll break it down and then you’re next!”
What the hell is going on?
I push my way through to Smokey. “What’s this all about?”
He thumps his fists against the clubhouse door before turning to me. “Taz, man! He’s fuckin’ locked us all out, tells us we can’t come in today.”
“He’s done what?” The booming voice behind us makes Smokey turn slowly on the spot.
I turn to face Pres. “Apparently, your brother is staging a one person lock in.” I raise my brows at him sarcastically.
“Move.” He pushes past us and starts banging on the door. “Merl, you open up this goddamn door or… Or I’ll fuckin’ take your title away.”
Everyone in the car park turns eerily silent as the threat lingers in the air. My lip curls up in one corner, he’s finally fucked up enough that even his own brother can’t protect him anymore.
“Fuck you, Daryl! This is just as much my clubhouse as it is yours!” Taz says, flinging the door open and squaring up to Pres.
Pres straightens to his full six feet, he has three inches on him and we all wait on bated breath to see what’s gonna go down between the two brothers. “This is my clubhouse, don’t you forget it!”
“I’m the VP of this club, don’t try act all high and fuckin’ mighty. You’ve relied on me-”
He’s cut off when Pres grabs him by the throat and slams him up against the outside of the building. “You’re getting on my last nerve, brother.”
Taz looks around everyone frantically. I don’t know what he’s looking for, no one is going to help him.
“Don’t undermine me again, this is your only warning or so help me I’ll have your ass in the shed with Grim faster than you can say you’re sorry.” He throws him to the ground. “Now get the fuck out of our way!” He growls.
The shed is the last place anyone wants to go, especially with Grim of all people. Its other name is the torture hut. Taz jumps up and stares us all down as we walk past. I can’t help it, I wink at him and he launches a fist at my mouth.
“This is all on you!” He spits.
Smokey and Jacques are by my side in an instant pulling him off me. They hold him in a vice grip but I motion for them to let him go.
“I don’t have time for your piece of shit ass, I’ve got a job to get to.” I wipe the blood from my lip and smile sinisterly at him. “But don’t you worry, I’ll get you back for that cheap shot.” And with a wink, I walk on inside the clubhouse, Jacques and Smokey on my tail.
“You really pissed him off with this whole VP thing, huh?” Jacques says on a laugh.
I laugh along with him. “Ain’t nothing I can’t handle, he’s a piece of shit.”
Jacques doesn’t say anything else, he just looks about the place looking a little lost.
“What you moping around for? You’re hungover but you still have to do your duties. Get,” I say with a wink.
“Yes, sir,” he groans, giving me a mock salute while rolling his eyes.
“Bear?” I turn toward Smokey. “You around tonight?”
He has that look in his eye that means he’s on the warpath. After keeping calm outside, I definitely need an outlet so I nod and smile knowingly back at him, he has a job that needs taking care of and I’m all over it.
“Finish work at five,” I shout over my shoulder as I walk to my room, Jacques hot on my heels.
“I’m coming,” he states matter-of-factly.
“I thought I told you to go get your duties done?” I quip back.
He shrugs his shoulders. “I’ll get to ‘em. But I’m coming tonight.”