‘I’ll bet it has.’
‘I don’t know what he told you… before the accident, I mean. I know you’re close,’ I say awkwardly. Suddenly I realise I should have had this conversation with Brad in person so that I could watch his reaction.
Brad, unsurprisingly, is protective of Leo and is not going to make this easy on me. ‘About?’ he asks, a little tersely. I pick at imaginary fluff on my skirt while I try to figure out what to say. The silence stretches, and then Brad apparently softens. ‘It was pretty obvious that you two were going through a rough patch. Is that what you mean?’
‘Yeah,’ I whisper. Rough patch? Leo obviously has not told him.
‘You know Leo even better than I do, Molly. He’s not the sort of guy to sit around and talk about feelings. But yes, I knew things weren’t great because… well, there was that god-awful dinner party we had with you guys just before Quinn was born… plus he was as cranky as a bear with a sore head and crazy-distracted.’
‘Distracted?’ Great. Now the accident is my fault too.
‘Honestly, Molly, we should have pulled out of that embed the day after we got there – God, we should never have been given permission to go. Am I right in guessing you’d fought about him going? He seemed pretty determined to make it worthwhile even though we both knew it was just too dangerous. I thought he was maybe making a point of it.’
‘Of course I didn’t want him to go,’ I mutter. ‘And you shouldn’t have gone, either, Brad.’
‘That was always going to be my last crazy war-zone trip with him. Even more so once he got injured, I’m just…’ Brad sighed. ‘I am just done with trying to be a hero, you know? Anyway, sounds like Leo’s heroic days are over too.’
‘No,’ I say automatically. ‘They won’t be. Leo lives for that stuff. Anyway, he just has no idea we were in a rough patch. I don’t know if I’ve done the right thing but he has so much to catch up on, and I didn’t want to overwhelm him.’
‘Do they think his memory will return?’
‘He’s already remembered a few things. They’re pretty confident it will all come back in time.’
‘He’ll understand, Molly. He’ll probably appreciate you shielding him from it so he can concentrate on getting well. Is that why you called? You don’t want me to tell him?’
‘Please don’t. Not yet.’
‘Got it.’
‘You’ll go see Leo tomorrow?’
‘Yeah. Should I take him anything?’
‘Do you have any of his stuff?’
‘There wasn’t time to recover anything from the car but I did go back to the camp before I left, so I’ve got everything else.’
‘Great. And do you have any photos to show him?’
‘Do I have photos…?’ Brad feigns outrage. ‘Of course I have photos. I even have photos of your husband with his head cracked open if he wants to see them.’
‘Probably leave those at home for now.’
I wrap up the call as we arrive at the terrace. Tobias has been during the day to restock the fridge and air the place out, and he’s left the doggy door at the back of the house open – I can tell this last part before I even open the front door, because Lucien is already waiting on the other side. I can hear the rhythmic swish of his tail as it wags against the floorboards. When I open the door, there’s a ball of apricot fluff waiting for me. I drop to my knees and he leaps into my arms.
‘I missed you too!’ Leo always mocks me for talking to Lucien, but I’ve caught him doing it himself when he didn’t realise I was in earshot. Lucien tries to lick my face and I lean away. He is far too large to be a lap dog, but that’s never stopped him from trying, and if the warmth and weight of him is physically uncomfortable, emotionally it’s an overwhelming comfort. He has seen me shed more tears than any human has, and he always seems to know how to console me. He settles with his paws against my shoulder and rests his ear against my head. I wrap my arms around him and I sob.
I am overwhelmed with relief at the simple reality of being back in the terrace – in my home, which is no longer my home. And yet from the moment I knew we were leaving Rome, this was where I wanted to be. I try to tell myself it’s Lucien I wanted to be close to, and as he nuzzles himself into my neck, I can almost convince myself that’s true – almost.