We met back at the café, but this time I actually paid attention to it as I approached. It was the kind of hipster inner-city place I’d normally avoid. Nestled in a cobblestone laneway up a steep hill, and decorated with odd placements of vintage items, it was populated with exceedingly trendy young people.
Molly was sitting at a table by the front window. When I approached, she was reading something on her phone and for the first time I had a chance to look at her properly. This adult Molly, for all of her career success, seemed somehow fragile – or perhaps it was just the circumstances we were meeting under.
‘I shouldn’t have asked you to come. I’ve taken up way too much of your time already today,’ Molly grimaced at me as I sat opposite her. I pointed to my sling.
‘I’m not allowed to work, I can’t type, I can’t work out – I am literally sitting at home counting down the hours until I’m well again, so if you had to take up a bunch of my time, this was the time to do it.’
‘I can’t believe you got shot. And that it doesn’t seem to be a big deal to you at all.’
‘If you go into a war zone people are going to shoot at you or at least near you at some point, so…’ I shrugged. ‘It would be ridiculous to moan about it.’
‘Is this the first time you’ve been shot?’
‘The first time?’ I repeated, and then laughed softly. ‘No, this would be the third time. How are you doing after this morning?’ I changed the subject.
‘Honestly?’ she sighed and massaged her forehead with both hands. ‘I’m torn. I’m devastated that he had to go through all of that. And I’m both enraged by and sympathetic to Mum and Dad’s decision to keep it all a secret. Dec had a problem, it beat him. It’s not fair, but it happens and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.’
‘I’m pretty sure your dad was always thinking Declan would turn a corner at some point and he didn’t want the board to find out and hold Dec’s problems against him. It didn’t seem to matter how messy your brother’s life got, Laith was always expecting better of him.’ I could barely believe I was defending Laith Torrington, but I had at least partly sympathised with the man.
‘But that’s the problem, isn’t it? He does the same bloody thing with me.’ Molly’s face contorted and she ran a hand through her hair, exasperated. ‘He can delegate the most complicated, difficult project to me and I take it and make it a success. And when he looks over what I’ve done, all he sees are the flaws – he’s always expecting me to do a better job. There is no such thing as “good enough” for my father––’ Molly broke off suddenly and picked the menu up. She stared at it for a long time, but when she spoke again the anger and frustration were entirely gone from her voice. She’d pushed them down into some internal compartment and sealed the lid. ‘I’m starved. Do you want to eat?’
We ordered our meals, and while we waited for them, Molly prodded me for more details about my adventures in the field. As I spoke, she listened closely. I’d seen this same reaction from women I’d dated – a keen interest and fascination was usually the first response to the ‘danger’ aspect of my work.
The second response was hesitation, and the third was fear. I’d had a lot of special women in my life over the years, but that pattern of how those relationships progressed was inevitably consistent. It was one of the reasons why I’d long since decided that I’d never marry.
After a while I turned the conversation back to her job.
‘I read an article about you once,’ I told her quietly. ‘It sounds like you’re actually very good at what you do at TM.’
‘I am,’ she said easily. ‘I work hard and I learn quickly.’
‘Were you always going to work for the family business?’
‘No.’
‘Well, what were you going to do?’ I asked.
‘I didn’t have a plan. I thought maybe I might start my own business one day. But then…’ she sighed and shrugged. ‘Then Declan died and everything changed.’
‘You’re only working for TM because Dec died?’ I couldn’t hide my surprise. She grimaced again.
‘I had been studying in Manhattan, but I transferred back to uni here in Sydney. Mum and Dad seemed to really need me close and that made sense. Then once I was back, Dad assumed I’d go to work with him when I graduated. At first, I thought I’d bide my time and eventually tell him I’d decided to do something else. But then I did graduate and I didn’t have the heart to hurt him. Plus, what difference does it make, really? I’m either working at TM, or I’m working somewhere else. It’s the same at the end of the day.’
‘Is it?’
Molly paused, then she sighed.
‘No, it’s not.’