She marched down the hall and I heard her wrangling Dani out the door. After they left, I stood at the window and gave the car the finger.
I turned to see Richard, seeing me.
“Oh, come on,” I said, slipping on my boots. “You know you’ve done it, too.”
As Richard drove us to the store, I called Camden again. This time, his voice mail picked up instantly, a sign that he didn’t have his phone turned on. I sent a text message.
Call me when you can. xo Ari.
Then I deleted the xo Ari. When did I start scattering xo’s in front of my name?
When we got to Millie’s, Richard asked me to go into the back room and open some packages that had been delivered the day before. When I heard a customer come in, someone Richard knew, I retreated to the farthest corner of the room and called Kendall.
“Hey,” she said stiffly.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. I’m at work. What’s up?”
“I just wanted to see how you are.”
“How I am.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I’m embarrassed,” she said, her voice low and breathy now. I wondered if she had wedged herself into a similar corner at Scoop-N-Putt. “Also, horrified,” she continued.
“Oh, good. That makes two of us.”
“I’ve never had anything with anyone and then, bam. Two weird experiences with guys in one day. I must be on some accelerated catch-up program.”
“And I’ve never . . . you know . . .”
“Been on the verge of beating someone up?”
“That,” I said, laughing, hoping she would, too. She didn’t.
“Ah, so we’re both on this accelerated plan.”
Another thought popped into my head. “I’m still confused. Did you ever get the sense Max was into you?”
“Ari, I can’t talk about this while I’m consumed with regret. The specifics of what happened are still too weird.”
We were quiet for a moment. I could still hear Richard talking to the customer, but I knew we didn’t have much time. I wanted to tell her about the way James had looked when he watched her last night, what happened at the Barn with Camden. Where would I even start?
Suddenly, Kendall said, “Hey, I have to go, a van just parked and a ton of people are climbing out. It’s like a clown car.”
We hung up, then I started unloading the packages and breaking down the boxes. There was something really satisfying in making them flat again, removing a whole dimension.
I poked my head out into the store. “I’m taking some boxes to the dumpster,” I said.
Richard flashed me a thumbs-up. Was there something different about his thumbs-up now? Less affectionate, more formal? Could be. Dammit.
I grabbed the stack of boxes and opened the door to the alley. Somehow I made my way through, my cheek against this wall of cardboard that blocked half my field of vision.
“Hey,” said a voice that made me jump. I lowered the boxes and there was Camden’s face.
“Are you lurking?” I asked.
“I knew you were at the store. I figured you’d come out eventually.”
“How long were you prepared to wait?”
Camden leaned his forearms on the cardboard, each hand touching one of my elbows.
“A while,” he said, with an intensity I’d never seen in him before.
I stared at him, drinking him in. I felt an ache.
“I’m grounded,” I said. “I’m not supposed to see any of you until further notice. Or forever. Whichever comes first, I guess.”
“I’m sorry.”
I found myself tearing up. “Things are really messed up right now, at home. But we’ll have to find a way to see each other, until the dust settles.”
He stared at me, then said, “Let me help you with these,” taking the boxes and walking over to the dumpster.
“I leave them leaning against the inside wall, so people can take them. People always take them.”
Camden nodded. After he put the boxes away, more slowly and delicately than seemed necessary, he walked back to me. I noticed he was not meeting my glance.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, swallowing hard.
Now he looked at me. “I’m going up to my mom’s.”
“Your mom’s.”
“In Vermont.”
“Vermont? The Vermont that’s like, four hours away?”
“Yes.”
“Is she okay?”
“She’s fine. But, like I told you. Lonely. I don’t want her to be lonely.”
Okay. Maybe a few days apart would be a good thing. A breather.
“How long are you staying?”
Camden simply shrugged. It was the most horrible shrug I’d ever seen.
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“Eliza came to see me this morning,” he said, as if that was remotely close to an answer. “She’s really upset. As bad as I’ve ever seen her. She wants me to break up with you.”
“I see.”
“Everything’s messed up. Who am I supposed to be loyal to here?” Camden drew in a sharp breath. “I’m terrified, Ari. I haven’t seen this kind of thing ever work out.”
He didn’t have to explain further. This kind of thing. It didn’t need a name, but it had one anyway: love.