It was only cause for Candace’s eyes to fill up with tears again. “I can’t sleep without him next to me.”
While Starla fought her own waterworks, Macy only put a hand on Candace’s arm and said, “You have to, hon. You have to eat too. Let’s both go pick up Lyric, right now. Okay? I’ll feed you. You don’t need to be by yourself, and they’ve already told you that he won’t be waking up anytime soon.”
It would be good for Candace to get away for a bit. Yet Starla couldn’t help but wonder if Macy just wanted to escape Jared’s presence as soon as humanly possible.
“If something happens—”
“It won’t,” Macy and Jared said at the same time. Jesus, their minds even worked the same. At last, they shared a glance and an uneasy chuckle. The hallway doors opened, and Ghost walked in, followed by Evan and Ian. If Ghost was surprised or pissed or otherwise affected by Jared’s presence, he had the decency not to show it. But he took up his place beside his girlfriend, and he took it up fast, sliding an arm around her slim shoulders and hugging her to his side. Evan and Ian, both grim-faced, gave solemn greetings and headed out together, probably in search of coffee that didn’t resemble tar. It was the only thing that had been keeping any of them going.
“I was telling her she needs to come with us,” Macy said, looking up at Ghost. “We can pick up the baby and keep him while she gets some rest.”
“Cool.” With his other arm, he pulled Candace in close and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “’Cuz there’s nothing more tiring than waiting around this fuckin’ place. Come with us, and I bet you’ll feel a hundred percent better. Or at least sixty-five or something. He ain’t going anywhere, doll. He’s a hardheaded bastard.”
“I need to see him again before I go.” Candace looked hopefully at Starla. “Want to come with me?”
It was the last thing on earth she wanted, but it was what she’d come here for.
Starla nodded, and it was only then, when Jared gave her hand another reassuring squeeze, that she realized he had never once let it go. Even when faced with his beloved ex, he hadn’t pulled away or acted nonchalant. He’d stood at her side, so close she could feel him; she could draw strength from his nearness. But now, he let her walk that glaringly white and sterile mile to Brian’s room with Candace, after assuring her he’d be waiting whenever she was ready to leave. Telling her to take her time. He was willing to sit in that room with Ghost and Macy for however long it took—but maybe they would be merciful and go elsewhere.
“Wow,” Candace said quietly as they walked, still keeping her cardigan pulled tight as if she were freezing. “So…that’s happening?”
Starla was a long time answering. “I don’t know. I don’t know what’s happening.”
“You deserve someone nice.”
It was so fucking enormous in its simplicity that she almost laughed, but she was afraid she might burst out crying. Did she really deserve that? Or did she deserve exactly what she kept getting? Candace didn’t realize her husband was lying in a hospital bed because of Starla’s feelings for him. “Sometimes I wonder.”
Brian’s mother was with him—she’d hardly left her youngest child’s side. Now she stood by his bed, stroking his thick black hair. Mrs. Ross smiled weakly at the girls as they entered, the exhaustion plain on her lovely face. Her hair hung dark and limp. Starla had only been around her a handful of times, but the woman rivaled Macy in always appearing immaculate. Not so now. “He looks better,” she said in her Italian accent. Sometimes, when Brian was mad or animatedly telling a story, he had the barest hint of it himself. Most people who didn’t know his ancestry probably wouldn’t even notice. “His color’s come back.”
It was true. Last night, he’d been ghastly, and simply looking at him had scared the shit out of all of them. Now, if not for the tubes running into his arm and his nostrils, he could’ve been taking a nap. Starla couldn’t look away from him as the other two women talked quietly. The machines beeped a steady, patient rhythm. His chest rose and fell on its own, slow and strong. She let her gaze roam along his colorful ink patterns, feeling her bottom lip tremble. Come on, Brian, she thought. So many people here love you. She wished he would sit up and argue with them, tell them all to get the fuck out of his room and go to work; he was embarrassed to be seen flat on his back this way. Except Candace—he would want her here. He’d face any number of adversities as long as she was at his side. That was as it should be.
Maybe he was going to be okay. He just needed to sleep, to heal, and he would come back to them. He would come back to Candace and Lyric where he belonged.
As much as she loved them all, Starla would have to make sure she wasn’t around to see it.
Chapter Eighteen