We didn’t have time to sightsee, but to the right, a glint of gold caught my eye.
I dug my heels into the sand to slow myself to look. Seemingly out of place with the ocean’s natural landscape were giant, gold fish gates. As in, a huge metal barrier shaped like a fish complete with mermen patrolling in front on seahorses and carrying oversize copper forks. A shiny, white coral castle glittered behind the barrier.
“Is that—” One of the Lady of the Lake’s jellyfish zapped me.
“Yes, that is Atlantis. No, we are not stopping. Come along. No time to waste.”
Dad had filled my head with more legends and stories than I could remember. After all, it was important to know where the best treasures were fabled to be hidden. I remembered that Atlantis was home to Neptune and his trident—a trident that was supposed to be glammed near as powerful as Excalibur.
“Can’t we just—”
Zap.
“No. That would be one of the realms of water I do not control and where we are not welcome. They are on full military alert, so stay away from—”
I darted away from her before she could finish. Why go looking for Excalibur when another solution was closer? Neptune was a royal. And thanks to Dorthea’s hostile takeover of my memory banks, I now had years’ worth of diplomacy lessons and how to princess pout stored in my brain. If I just explained I was working on behalf of the Emerald throne, I’m sure he’d be happy to help her out. Meaning help me.
“Excuse me.” I waved to the very handsome mermen and batted my eyelashes like I’d seen Dorthea do. “I’d like to have an audience with Neptune.”
The one on the left pointed his fork at me. “Be gone, demons.”
“You haven’t even heard me out. And for your information, I’ve been stabbed, burned, impaled, crushed, poisoned, and hooked. Oversize tableware is not gonna scare me.” Diplomacy lesson #31: name-dropping: “If you won’t listen to me, I’ve got the lady…” I turned around to point to her sludginess, but there was no sign of her except a few fighting hermit crabs.
“That’s weird…”
Zap!
An electric eel’s charge is apparently much stronger than a jellyfish’s sting. Being immune to harm from water apparently didn’t include the hazards in it. As I blacked out, I added electrocution to the list of ways I’d died.
When I came to, the Lady of the Lake had some words for me. Or, more precisely, she’d left some words for me. She’d stuck a note to my forehead with a sea slug.
I tried to warn you. You’ve been dead for days, and I had things to tend to, so I left my assistant to show you to the right tide pool. Assuming you revive—which you had better, since we have a deal and I’m holding you to it—Camelot has come under a change of management, so my name will curry you no favor there. Go unseen and do not speak to anyone. Return to the water with the sword and you will be free.
LL
Sigh. I once again had no memory of my time in the underworld, which scared the undead life out of me. Whatever Morte was up to down there was more than I could handle. Let the people with powers like Oz, Dorthea, and Verte manage it. I needed to be more careful. I looked at my arm with its seven stripes. I needed to add two more.
The Lady of the Lake had deposited me on a bed of algae in an underwater cave. Bits of crystals and aquatic pieces lay around, making it look like a home of sorts. In the center was a giant flip-top desk, fashioned from an ogre-size oyster. In its center, instead of a pearl, there was a glass inkwell with silver filigree. Pretty fancy. Probably came from a shipwreck.
I dipped an urchin spine into the inkwell, but the ink was shimmery and see-through. Unusable. “Too bad it’s busted,” I murmured.
In a nearby tide pool, a squid darted past. I reached in to snag it, scaring it enough so that it left behind some ink to use. One line. Two lines. Which made nine. I sighed. “Good thing I’m not a cat.”
“Rex.”
“Huh?” My head shot up, trying to track who had called me. Despite the situation I was in, I couldn’t help but break into a huge grin when I spotted what had to be the Lady of the Lake’s “assistant.”
“DumBeau!”
“Rex,” he said again and moved toward me. He made it a few steps before tripping on his overgrown ears.
Sure, he was just a “thing” according to property laws, but I was glad to see the lady had managed to repair the sweet, dumb oaf.
I helped him up and tied his ears in a bow behind him. “There you go. That should make getting around easier.” I was rewarded with one of his megawatt smiles.
His happiness didn’t last long. His grin turned to a grimace at the sound of an echo deeper in the cave. “Rex.”
“Yeah, bud. We’ve been over this.”
“Rex. Go,” he said. I didn’t have time to be surprised at his new vocabulary. He shoved me backward into a whirlpool. Breathing underwater isn’t the same when the currents are beating the pix out of you. It’s like being a hand-wash-only cape in a washing cauldron set on spin cycle.
After what felt like an eternity, the water spit me out like a geyser, shooting me up and splatting me on the shore. My crossbow burped up promptly after. After coughing out half the lake, I crawled a few paces through the sand, until my hand hit something decidedly not sand. A black leather boot.
“’Tis you!” a man’s voice boomed.
Aw, hex. So much for slipping in unnoticed.
“Trim your facial hair daily or, better yet, go clean shaven. Mustache twirling has been known to give away even the best villain in disguise.”
—Seven Habits of Highly Evil People
19
Dual Deception
“Did you hope that revenge was a dish best served wet?”
Before I could respond, an ax slid under my chin, not entirely gently, forcing me to stand and look Mordred in his ember eyes lest I lose my head.
A black knight called to Mordred. “Iron and ashes, did you catch a mermaid?”
I couldn’t see the knight’s face behind his helmet, but I didn’t have to. He wasn’t wearing gauntlets, so I could see one tan hand and one very pale hand. But even gloved, I would have known that voice anywhere.
Kato.
As soon as his name filled my thoughts, the scene in front of me changed in a flash of green. Kato was still standing close to me but without his helmet or mountain of black armor. Plus, though we were still near the water, it wasn’t the Lake of Avalon. We’d been transported somewhere else.
The look on his face, the emotion warming his chilly, blue eyes—it was exactly the vision I’d seen in the mirror. “Show me what would really make me happy.”
And then I wasn’t just watching a scene—I was living it.