Want (Want #1)

I thrust my hands into my leather jacket, not meeting anyone’s eyes in the gray haze that blanketed our city. Despite the face mask I had strapped on, the reek of petrol and automobile fumes still suffused my every drawn breath. I was relieved to turn onto our headquarters’ empty street, to get away from the pedestrians drifting through the sidewalks with hacking coughs, the honking of taxis, and the loud noise of mopeds.

I knocked on our headquarters’ worn wooden door and it unbolted without Lingyi answering, filling me with unease. I stepped inside, and the heavy door whirred shut. My stomach clenched at the scene before me. Iris and Lingyi were laid side by side on makeshift beds in the sitting area, reminding me of corpses. Both girls were pale, with bright spots on their cheeks—the only reason I knew that they weren’t actually dead.

They’d caught the super avian flu strain.

The sofa and chairs had been pushed against the walls. Arun was crouched over Iris, feeling for the pulse at her wrist, then resting his gloved hand against her brow. He wore his yellow hazmat suit that I knew he kept at his lab for experiments. It was as if we were in a biological warfare zone.

The window was shuttered, and he had the lights dimmed, so the room felt dark and somber, reminding me of a crypt. Arun lifted his eyes. I could see they were red-rimmed, even behind his full face mask.

“Zhou.” His voice was rough, muffled. “I was coming over to give Lingyi an update.”

It hadn’t taken more than a few days for Arun to confirm that the H7N9S sample I had taken from Jin Corp was the mutated airborne strain that had been released in Liberty Square.

“I’ve been working nonstop to try and get my antidote to work,” Arun said. “I’m so close, I can almost feel my mother’s presence in the lab with me.” He drew a long breath that shook.

My friend shifted his gaze to the girls. He appeared insect-like with the gear obscuring his face. “When I arrived, they were both already fevered and delirious.”

I knew for certain they hadn’t gotten ill from me. I had stayed away from all my friends while I was still contagious. But the flu was too widespread now, with a panicked government that had done nothing to intervene.

Arun struggled to his feet, as if he were an old man instead of eighteen. “Don’t worry. You can’t catch the same flu twice. That’s why I didn’t bring a respirator for you.”

“They’re not protected,” I said, panic rising. My throat worked. “They’ve never had the avian flu.”

In that moment, we both jumped from the loud thudding at the front door. “Let me in!” Victor shouted.

Arun sighed and clicked on his Palm to speak through the hidden intercom over the door. “We can’t risk you getting sick too, Victor.”

“Zhou’s there,” Victor said accusingly.

“He’s already had this flu.”

“I don’t give a shit,” he shouted, sounding completely unlike himself. I’d never heard Victor raise his voice before. The front door thudded again, even louder this time. Victor was kicking at it—with his expensively made shoes. He must be pissed. Frantic. “Let me in!” he roared.

Arun and I exchanged glances and he shrugged, pulling a full face respirator from his backpack along with a pair of gloves. “He’ll lose it if we don’t let him in,” he said, and released the door a breadth, so Victor couldn’t push his way in. “Put these on first. No guarantee you won’t catch it, though. Your risk to take.”

I heard Victor grunt in anger, then Arun released the door all the way and Victor trampled through, like an elephant ready to charge. He was dressed in a gray pin-striped suit; the clear respirator looked incongruous over his tanned face. His eyes widened when he saw the girls. “We need to get them to the hospital,” Victor said, rounding on us both. “What are you two doing standing there like fools?”

Arun tried to clasp Victor’s shoulder, but he jerked away, crouching down by Lingyi. He swept a damp lock of purple hair from her brow. “Sweetheart,” he murmured in English.

“A doctor won’t be able to do anything for them,” Arun replied in a quiet voice. “The hospitals are overwhelmed. It’s better to keep them quarantined here. And it’s safer to keep our anonymity—”

Victor leaped to his feet, fists clenched. “You’re putting the mission before their lives?”

“We all put the mission before our own lives when we agreed to this,” I said.

Victor pivoted and cocked his elbow, as if he were ready to hit me, but instead shoved me hard by the shoulders. I reeled backward but caught myself. “Besides, it’s what Lingyi wanted. No way she would have us compromise the mission,” I said. “Not now. Not after all we’ve gone through to get this far.” I returned Victor’s glare with my own, my face feeling hot and tight.

“I went along with your haphazard schemes, and look where it got us.” He threw a hand toward the girls, dark eyes bright with tears. “Lingyi would never have agreed to any of this if you hadn’t pushed for it, Zhou!”

I lunged at him, and Arun intercepted; our bodies slammed, knocking the breath from me. “Lingyi does what she wants. She believes in this mission. I know you love her—”

Victor made an involuntary choking noise, and my anger dissipated. He was lashing out in fear and pain, I recognized that. I’d done it plenty of times myself. I swallowed and forced my voice steady. “But Jin did this. He released the flu strain so he could make more money at the cost of mei lives. It’s why we have to follow through.”

Arun grabbed Victor by the arm. “I’m keeping them hydrated and checking their temps. The doctors can’t do any more than that.” Arun loosened his grip on Victor, then flexed the fingers of both hands, as if he wanted to throttle something. Arun looked like he was about to throw up.

I refused to give in to the panic or fear, because underlying that was a familiar helplessness and despair. Something I had never wanted to feel again after watching my mother die. An eerie calm settled over me. I would do anything to make certain my friends survived.

“Arun, sit down,” I said, moving toward him. “Maybe you caught it too.”

Arun slumped down on the sofa pushed up against the wall, head bowed as if it were too heavy to lift up. “It’s not that.” He let out a sigh that misted his respirator for a moment. “I’ve got an antidote.”

Victor fell to his knees in front of Arun, not giving a thought to his tailored pants. He took Arun by a shoulder, so tightly Victor’s knuckles went white. Arun didn’t even seem to register Victor’s iron grip. “You have an antidote for this?” Victor spoke slow and deliberate. “And you haven’t given it to them?”

“I can’t!” Arun cried. “It’s my newest batch. And the last time . . .” He punched a fist into his thigh. “Zhou, you saw what can happen. The lab monkeys hemorrhaged to death. I can’t risk that on Lingyi and Iris!”

“But you’ve developed a newer antidote, right?” I asked.

Arun nodded, eyes wide and solemn. “This latest batch hasn’t been tested yet.”

“So test it!” I said.

“The monkeys won’t arrive for two more days,” Arun replied. “And even then, I’d have to infect them with the flu virus first. From everything I’ve gathered on the undernet, this super avian flu hits heavy and fast. We don’t have time.”

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