“I know.”
“No. You don’t know. You’re some biker guy now. You fuck women all the time. You drink. You fight. You’re nothing that you once represented.”
“Seeing your fiancée and stepdaughter murdered will do that to you,” Blaine said through gritted teeth.
“Jesus, Blaine.”
“What? That’s what this entire thing is all about, right? I got Meghan and Janey murdered. There. I fucking said it.”
Jessa leaned back. She shook her head. “Don’t say that.”
“I’ll say it again. I was the reason. I pushed hard at shit I shouldn’t have, trying to make a name for myself. I couldn’t rely on Petey anymore. Remember him? My partner? The guy who was buying for the department to build a case but also keeping for himself. He was asleep in a pile of cocaine the night they were murdered. I called him and got nothing. I tried to get to Vin but couldn’t find him. He was supposed to be in contact with Petey that night too. But something went wrong and Vin lost his edge. I panicked and called you. You were supposed to go there and get them the fuck out.”
Jessa drank from the bottle some more. Way too much at once. She felt like she downed half the bottle, and maybe she did. She didn’t check because she slowly stood and held the bottle by its skinny neck.
“You called me,” Jessa whispered. “I was doing my own thing that night.”
“Yeah? What’s that? Figuring out how to loosen up your tight ass?”
“You prick.”
“That’s right.”
“I never asked to get involved with your job and life. You were always crooked, Blaine. I saw you making deals all the time. I worried about them, too. If it would ever fall back on them. And you and Meghan fighting all the time…”
“That’s none of your business,” Blaine yelled. “That was my relationship.”
“That you didn’t want. Right? It was all because of Janey.”
“Watch your mouth. Or I’ll stuff something in it.”
Jessa couldn’t remember a time she was so angry. And yet she had no clue why, really. Was it all the years of pent up thoughts about Blaine? The guilt? The regret? Or maybe the fact that she watched Blaine and Meghan fight so much yet she stood there as the best friend with thoughts about Blaine that weren’t right?
“You think you’re so tough and big?” Jessa asked. “I bet it’s fucking tiny. That’s why you have the biggest motorcycle, right? That’s why you need your women drunk.”
Blaine laughed. “That’s right, attack me. Because you’re guilty. For what you did.”
“What I did? I fucking saw them! You set me up to walk in… to…”
“Maybe if you drove a little faster and weren’t so afraid of breaking the law…”
Jessa saw red. Next thing she knew the whiskey was flying through the air. Blaine got out of the way and the bottle smashed against the fridge, shattering. She then grabbed the chair and threw it like it weighed nothing. The tears then instantly came. They streamed down her cheek as the chair crashed into Blaine. Of course, it did nothing to him. He was too big, too strong. Jessa needed something better… like a car or a bullet to hurt him.
“I fucking hate you!” she yelled. “I’ve always hated you.”
Blaine stepped toward her. Jessa made fists and readied herself.
“That’s right,” Blaine said. “Let it all out, sweetheart.”
He got closer, close enough to take a shot at him. So she did. Her right hand flung forward and smacked him in the mouth. Just like before, it hurt her worse than him. She threw left and hit Blaine in the jaw. That was like punching a steel plate.
Jessa cried out.
“Done?” Blaine asked.
“Fuck you.”
That’s when Blaine made his move. His hands grabbed Jessa by the waist and he lifted her. He walked her back to the wall and put her down. Blood formed in the corner of his mouth from where she had got him.
“I lost the exact same thing,” Blaine said. “And I saw it too. And I blame myself every second I’m still alive. That’s why I ride next to the reaper. That’s why I fuck with the reaper. I want the son of a bitch to come get me. I want him to fuck me.”
“Jesus…”
Blaine spit at the floor. He took a breath. “I shouldn’t have said it like I did. But you have to let that shit go. Find a release.”
Jessa caught herself clutching to Blaine’s shirt.
No… no, Jessa… no…
Blaine lowered his mouth to hers. Their lips flirted for a few seconds, less than an inch apart. They were breathing heavy, their breaths lingering with whiskey and bad decisions. But the temptation was even greater. All those years of wondering…
Jessa felt her lips quivering as Blaine finally kissed her. A soft and subtle kiss, the kind you did and then pulled away. The kind you’d say you regret but never truly did.
But that wasn’t Blaine’s style to just kiss once… and Jessa knew that.
She realized what she had done. She’d stepped into the lion’s cage.
Blaine kissed her again. With more aggression. His tongue slipping into her mouth, commanding her entire body already.