The way his muscles trembled and body hardened and eyes fluttered and lips kissed and hands clenched and breathing stuttered and and...
An arc of desire throbbed in my clit.
I shuddered, curling into myself with need.
I’d given him pleasure. I’d taken pleasure from giving him pleasure.
But now...now, I suffered.
I was more turned on than any point in my life. I could barely move without my thighs pressing together and my hips rocking to find relief. I could barely breathe without my breasts rubbing my t-shirt and my nipples sparking with ten thousand demands to be touched, sucked, bitten.
My brain was useless. My body was obsessed. I had to. I had to. I had to find relief.
I wasn’t Estelle. I was female. I was sex.
And I wanted, wanted, wanted.
With every inhale, I promised myself the freedom to spin around and beg Galloway to take me. With each exhale, I broke every vow and huddled tighter in the sand.
You can’t.
I couldn’t remember why.
But I couldn’t execute the day, talk to the children, or pretend to be normal in this state.
Hurling myself out of bed, I kept my back to Galloway and fled into the forest.
I ran and ran until I was far enough from the camp and sprawled against the bamboo thicket I’d adopted as my writing nook. My cotton shorts came down. My hand disappeared into my wetness.
And I fingered myself all while my thoughts belonged to Galloway.
Galloway.
Galloway.
Galloway.
Chapter Thirty-Six
...............................................
G A L L O W A Y
......
SHE RAN.
I saw her. I watched her. I didn’t move as she bolted from her bed and into the forest. She had a habit of disappearing into the trees for reasons I couldn’t fathom.
But this reason...I understood completely.
I knew what she was doing.
I pictured exactly how she would look.
And I grew hard all over again knowing she had to relieve herself from the need compounding every day between us.
After last night, after what she’d done to me, she couldn’t deny it anymore.
She wanted me. Far, far more than she let on.
She’d put me out of my misery for a few hours. One day (hopefully soon), she’d let me put her out of hers. And when that day came, I’d take my time. I’d tease the hell out of her before finally transporting her into heaven.
I didn’t say a word when she returned, face flushed, and breasts swollen in her black bikini top. I pretended I didn’t notice the damp spot on her cotton shorts or the way she washed her hands guiltily in the sea.
I let her believe I didn’t know.
After breakfast of coconuts, a salted fish from yesterday, and some cooked taro, Estelle guided the children to the water’s edge where we’d scratched our messages into the sand.
I took my time, limping after them with the aid of my walking stick.
Estelle might’ve given me the best orgasm of my life last night and removed the annoying splint, but she hadn’t been able to save me from the heart-destroying conclusion.
My ankle hadn’t healed properly.
The ache in my bones hurt every time I put weight on it. An odd bump remained where the joint had broken and I couldn’t deny it anymore.
I could walk, but I might never run.
I could move but not without the aid of a walking stick.
I was a damn invalid and nothing in the world could change that.
Pushing my anger and grief away at never being whole again, I caught up with the others, looking for the messages.
Only...they’d vanished.
The tide had wiped the slate clean, leaving behind a virgin beach with no marks, no terrors, no confessions of any kind.
Pippa turned to me with her forehead scrunched. “Where—where are they?”
I grinned, hiding my depression at my disability and playing up Estelle’s party trick. “It’s magic.”
“No, the tide washed them away.” Conner pouted, clearly unimpressed with the game. Pointing at my leg, he added, “Hey, you removed your brace.”
“Yep.”
That topic wasn’t for young boy’s ears. He could see it was off. End of story.
Estelle flinched. “You’re right, Co. But that’s what the ocean does. It washes away the bad and brings only good.”
“I don’t get it.” Conner squinted in the new sun. Overnight, the drizzle that’d haunted us for days had finally broken; we all slowly thawed out and dried off.
Pippa stuck her thumb in her mouth, something she’d started doing a few weeks ago, reverting to childlike behaviours.
Estelle gathered her close, hugging her tiny head against her side. “It means those fears...they’re gone. Don’t you feel lighter? Knowing that you don’t have to be afraid of sleep anymore?”
She tensed. “I don’t know.”
Estelle looked at Conner. “Don’t you feel better knowing you don’t have to worry about tennis anymore?”
He shrugged. “I guess.”
Her eyes landed on mine. “G?”
I waited for her to bring up my leg and recently removed splint, but she surprised me by bringing up my other fear.
“Don’t you feel better knowing whoever you want to apologise to no longer needs to know you’re sorry. That whatever it is that you’ve done has been forgiven?”