Her joke fell flat, leaving Jesse frowning instead of smiling.
“When did you lose your parents?”
She rolled a shoulder, wishing they could move on from her tale of woe. “I was twenty. Cissy wasn’t around. I knew how badly my folks would have wanted her there, but she didn’t answer my calls or even show up for the funeral.” Anger swelled. Anger and hurt. “She accepted her half of their estate though. For a while there, I hoped it would make a difference for Kevin. He was only five then. I’m not sure he even remembers Mom and Dad since their last year, Cissy got really bad. She lived with this one creep that my parents hated. So many nights they’d miss sleep worrying.”
“And what about you? Did you worry?”
She averted her gaze. “About Kevin. But I got so angry at Cissy, especially after she blew the nice sum of money she got after I settled their affairs. Sometimes I wished...” Swallowing down that awful thought, she shook her head. “Mom had always said that Cissy couldn’t help it, that she needed our help, but she made everyone miserable. Even her son.”
Slowly, Jesse reclaimed her hand. His thumb moved over her knuckles. “Kevin still loved her.”
“Because he’s supposed to! I know because it’s the same way I feel.” She pressed a fist to her heart. “If she’d been a stranger, a neighbor or a friend, I’d have cut her out of my life and moved on. But we were related, and right or wrong, I couldn’t help but love her. Not because of any closeness, or fond memories—there was none of that. I just...”
“Loved her because she was your sister.”
Breathing harder, she nodded. It made no sense, not then and not now. “It’s a burden that Kevin shouldn’t have to bear.”
“I agree it’s unfair. But that’s life, honey. We play the hand we’re dealt.”
She wanted to throw away that hand and get new cards. Except...that would mean throwing away Kevin too. And Jesse. And she didn’t want that. Ever.
“I hate what you went through, what you didn’t have, and what you had to put up with. But however your life used to be, you’re exactly what Kevin needs now.” His fingers laced in hers. “And you’re who I want.”
Sexually. But he’d also mentioned her head and heart...
Lifting her hand, Jesse kissed her knuckles. “I’m glad you’re you,” he whispered. “And, Tonya?”
Very uncertain, she said, “Yes?”
“I promise to help you sow plenty of wild oats.”
CHAPTER FOUR
TONYA WANTED EVERYTHING to be perfect, and so far, so good.
Kevin looked relaxed enough wearing jeans and a pullover shirt, with lime green sneakers he’d chosen himself. She’d surprised him with a new backpack, and he still looked boggled by it.
“Do you want to pack your lunch or buy?”
His brows came together and he busied himself putting pencils, notebooks and such in the backpack.
“Kevin?”
“I think the school gives me lunch, right?”
Well, of course he’d gotten that supplemented. Why hadn’t she realized? Smiling, she came to sit beside him on the couch. “Not this year. We can either pack you something, or I can give you the money—”
“Packing is fine.”
Keeping her smile in place, Tonya silently vowed to look into a meal plan at the school, perhaps a prepay of some sort so he’d always have the option. “Okay. What’s it to be? I can do a sandwich with that lunch meat you like, or there’s PB&J, or—”
He pushed to his feet. “I can do it.”
She started to follow along when a knock sounded on the door, and a second later, Jesse stuck his head in. “Hey.”
Good Lord, he was early! Heat rushed into her face, making him grin widely.
“I wanted to catch Kevin before he took off.”
“Oh.” So he hadn’t been impatient?
Kevin stuck his head out of the kitchen. “Hey, Jesse.”
“Hey.” As he went past Tonya, he chastised her, whispering, “Mind in the gutter again? Naughty, Tonya.” He stole a quick kiss. “I like it.” Then he went into the kitchen.
She stood there in the middle of the room, listening to their low conversation until she felt steady enough to walk.
“I would have packed that for you,” she told Kevin.
“Why?” Jesse leaned back on the counter. “He’s a big boy. He can do it.”
Kevin grinned.
Ridiculously proud, Tonya got out a paper bag for him, along with an apple and a drink and a bag of chips.
Jesse eyed it all and, now as familiar with her kitchen as she was, went to a different cabinet to get out some cookies to add to the pile.
Kevin laughed. “Okay, that ought to do it.” He began stuffing it all in the bag. “I’ve never gotten this much for lunch before.” He caught himself and clarified, “School lunch, I mean.”
“We should go shopping,” Tonya said, making both guys groan in unison.
“For food,” she stressed, amused by their identical forlorn expressions. “So you always have your preferences here for packing.”
Kevin stuffed the lunch bag into his backpack, hefted it over his shoulder, surveyed her a moment while shifting restlessly—and in one big step he reached her, hugging her right off her feet.
“Thanks, Aunt Tonya.”
Her heart almost exploded from her chest. Clasped hands at her mouth, tears welling up, she nodded and gulped, “You’re welcome.”
He shared a man-to-man look with Jesse. “I better go so I don’t miss my bus.”
She nodded hard again.
Jesse laughed. “I’ll walk you out.”
They were no sooner out the door than Tonya rushed behind them to peek out the window. Together, they stood on the porch chatting, occasionally laughing. A few times Jesse put his hand on Kevin’s shoulder, and at one point Kevin gave him a laughing push. When the bus started down the street, Jesse faded back, then came in.
He found her there at the window, but he didn’t say anything. He just nudged her over a little so he could join her, and together they watched Kevin get on the bus.
“He’ll be okay,” Jesse told her, his arm now around her waist.
Words still stuck in her throat, so she only smiled and nodded, staying there until the bus was out of sight.
Jesse smoothed his hand down her long braid, let his gaze trail over her body from her loose T-shirt and casual shorts, all the way down to her bare feet.
She waited for him to kiss her, but instead he stepped back.
Pulsing with expectation, she stood there as he went to the door and turned the lock. That near silent “click” ramped up her heat and made her knees tremble.
Until he headed down the hall.
What in the world? She rushed to catch up. “Jesse?”
Into her bedroom he went and she stalled, stopping just outside the door. She wanted this. She wanted him. So much.
But she didn’t know how she felt about being rushed.
He sat on the side of the mattress and smiled at her. “Come here, Tonya.”
Hesitation warred with excitement.
Excitement won. Steps tentative, she approached, and when she got close enough, he reached out and caught her hand, drawing her in...and onto his lap.