After a few moments passed, Sierra said, “While I’m grateful you told me all of this, I want to know what it means for us.”
“It means I don’t know how to be the normal kind of guy…boyfriend…whatever. The hand-holding, cuddling-up, sleeping-together-all-night, Netflix-and-chill type. That’s part of why I freaked out. I’d started to feel that I don’t have anything more to offer you now than I did seven years ago.”
My breath left my belly when Sierra climbed on top of me. I could feel us chest to chest. Her face was so close to mine her breath drifted across my lips.
“Boone West, you look at me right now.”
My heart hammered when I peeled my eyes open.
I expected to see pity on her face; instead I saw ferocity that brought my heart into my throat. “The only difference between us is I’ve had my family show me love and let me love them back. You haven’t. That is not your fault.”
This understanding about the things that formed me, without judgment, without pity…this was my definition of love.
I studied her. This woman who fucking owned me. “Sierra. I don’t know how to do this.”
“What?”
“Love.” My hand and my voice shook when I touched her face. “The other reason I freaked out? What if what I want from you is too much? Everything you are, everything I am when I’m around you…that’s the life I want with you. It’s always been you.”
Shock flashed in her eyes, followed by recognition. She whispered, “You knew. That’s what you meant the night you kissed me. You told me if we’d been together the way you wanted, you wouldn’t have been able to walk away from me.”
“It wasn’t a bullshit line. You scared the hell out of me, Sierra. Without thought, without knowing what it meant to me, you gave me a small taste of your affection—and we were just friends. I’d never had that and I almost couldn’t wrap my head around the fact it could be better.” I traced the arc of her cheekbone with my thumb. “Tonight proved that wrong. Jesus, woman. I…” I paused. Breathed. “I’m at a loss to even find words for how everything shifted in my world tonight.”
“Mine too.”
“Neither of us would’ve been ready for that seven years ago. Everything in my life was a struggle. You deserved more than a broke, broken kid. You probably deserve more than me now, but I’ve thrown it all down for you tonight. Everything I’ve never told another soul.”
“I’ll be honest…you have utterly wrecked me tonight.”
I waited for her to explain or act very Sierra-like and offer me reassurance. But she didn’t. I’d had years to process this; she’d need more than five minutes, so I forced myself to let it go. For now.
Finally she said, “We have a history and like you mentioned that first day in my office, it wasn’t all bad. I just never understood how deeply the good parts affected you. This is the start over point for us, Boone.” She swallowed hard.
Point for my girl for keeping it together. Because if she started to cry, Christ, I would too. I cradled her face in my hands and locked my gaze to hers. “I’m all in with you, Sierra. All. Fucking. In.”
She turned her head and kissed my wrist, nuzzling her cheek into it with a sigh. “That right there, Boone. The way you reached for me without thinking? That is affection. You do things like that around me all the time—you always have.”
I did? Get the fuck out. Maybe I wasn’t entirely hopeless.
“And you’re always messing with my hair, which hits all the sweet, sexy and possessive buttons. You watch me closely.” She smirked. “I’m not talking about the way you leer at my ass. But how you study my face, my eyes, my body language. As if you want to provide me with whatever I need—before I even know I need it. I’ll be honest…you were right to challenge me that I’d always known you’d felt more for me than friendship. Sometimes I used to catch you looking at me like…”
“Like you were a work of art that I wanted to lock away because no one would ever appreciate your rare beauty like I would?”
“Sweet talk and dirty talk coming from this sexy mouth… Not sure which one I like better.” She brushed her lips across mine with deliberate seduction. “And speaking of sexy…tonight when you were on your knees with your mouth on me, the hungry sounds you made, the words you said, the way you used that wicked tongue…knocked my entire world off its axis.” Her body trembled. “Sex wasn’t just a game changer for us, but a life changer. It opened all of this up, things you wouldn’t have told me before. Seven years ago I wasn’t ready for you—for this—and neither were you.”
My eyes searched hers. “But now?”
“Now? We go forward and learn how to be all fucking in together.”
I brought her mouth to mine and kissed her from the depths of my soul.
Unbreak My Heart (Rough Riders Legacy #1)
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