Still pouting, Eric threw himself into a chair. “There’s fresh juice in there too. Apple, orange, and whatever else Nell could think of to boost the immune system. Ever since she got pregnant she’s been on this insane mothering bend. Can you believe last night she tried to tell me I drink too much?”
Joe just grunted and dug through the bags in search of the juice. He brought it over to me, taking a seat on the side of the bed with a coffee in hand. “Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I don’t think you’re going anywhere today.”
I nodded glumly, downing two more of the cold and flu tablets before taking a cautious sip. Wow, what eye-watering goodness. Zesty with explosions of ginger and garlic in my mouth. At least I could vaguely taste something. Everything else was blergh. If Nell’s germ-attack juice didn’t kill the evil bugs living in me, nothing would. I plucked some more Kleenex out of the box and blew my nose.
“Actually, Nell’s been riding my ass about a lot of stuff lately.” Eric stared up at the ceiling, all contemplative. “You think she wants me to propose again?”
Joe turned to look at his brother. “E, she tried to punch you in the balls last time you offered her a ring. So, I’m thinking no.”
“Could have just been the baby hormones making her crazy.”
“No, man,” said Joe. “Pretty sure it was you making her crazy.”
With nothing to contribute to the conversation, I kept on sucking down the juice.
The big blond guy turned back to me, taking a sip of his coffee. “Eric accidentally knocked up Nell. She was drunk.”
“Doesn’t mean she didn’t jump me.”
Joe caught my eye and gave a small shake of the head.
“I saw that,” his brother bitched.
Joe winked at me. I couldn’t help but smile back. It was a small, feeble thing, to be sure, but it was there. He obviously hadn’t gone into detail about Eric and this issue in his emails. Guess it got too complicated.
“Started reading one of those baby books you got me. Already proving useful.” Eric grabbed the closest brown paper bag, checking out the contents. “Give me a break, she packed you the triple-choc brownies. Like they have any health benefits.”
“I’ll take one of those.” Joe half rose from the bed, stretching out a hand. His brother handed one over to him. “What about the book?”
“Right.” Eric polished off a brownie in one large bite, holding up a finger, bidding us to wait. “Turns out when the kid’s born this stuff similar to black tar from hell comes out of its butt for the first few days.”
“Huh.”
Bile rose in the back of my throat. The flu of doom was no time to be talking baby poop.
“What I’m thinking is, right after the birth I fake a cold, like what Alex has,” said Eric. “That way, it’s not safe for me to be around the kid, right? Wouldn’t want to pass on germs to the new baby. Nell will totally fall for it.”
Joe stopped, frowned.
“Genius, no?” asked Eric.
“No,” said his bearded brother.
“What?” Eric laughed. “As if you’d change diapers with that in them. It sounds fucking terrifying.”
With a heavy sigh, Joe rubbed at his forehead. “Christ, bro. Man-up, already.”
“Please. You would not change that diaper.”
“I would change the damn diaper.”
“You’re just saying that because she’s here.” Eric pointed at me.
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are.”
If I could have spoken, I’d have told the idiot to leave me out of it. Alas, the best I could manage was a dubious look.
“No,” said Joe, being painstakingly clear. “I’m saying I’d change the nasty diaper because that baby is half mine and its mom deserves my backing. Get it? Does that make any sense to you at all?”
Mumbled profanity.
“Well?”
“Yeah. All right.” Eric slumped down in his chair, mouth lined with worry. “And don’t call it it. That’s really uncool.”
No response to his brother’s mini-rant. Joe just drank more of his coffee.
Suddenly, Eric was up and out of here. “I got to go. Later.”
“Later.”
I waved as he closed the door.
“He’s actually doing better than he was,” mumbled Joe, turning to look at me. “Spent the first few days after she told him about the baby pretty much hiding under a shrub out in the yard with a bottle of single malt. Wouldn’t even speak. Didn’t think he’d manage to open one of the books, let alone read some of it. For a guy who never planned on getting married and having kids, it’s a start.”
I nodded.
“Nell was going through a messy divorce from another friend of ours, Pat. Her and my brother were a drunken accident.” He sighed, staring off at nothing. “It’s been like getting caught in the middle of a fucking war, having this going on. We’ve all been friends since school, but now everything’s a mess. It drove me nuts I couldn’t email you about all of it. I needed some sanity.”
Silence.
“Anyway.” He cleared his throat. “Don’t you think maybe you should go to the doctor?”
Good question. Thing is, unless modern medicine had made some miraculous discoveries overnight, they still didn’t have a cure for the flu. “No,” I mouthed.
“Okay. If you change your mind or need anything, I’m writing my cell number on this notebook over here. Text me.” He got busy doing as much, bending over the little table half-covered in brown Dive Bar goodie bags. Whoa. Hold up. Nice ass. Seriously, the man had a good one. Something about a masculine, jeans-clad ass just beckoned to be noticed and appreciated. I still preferred my men in suits and ties, but it couldn’t be denied. Joe’s rear had it going on.
The man himself turned and my eyes shot up to his face. I pasted on a pleasant smile to hide the shameful guilt inside of me over perving on the poor defenseless guy. Not that I actually felt any guilt. I just probably should have.
He cocked his head, forehead lined. “What?”
I raised my brows. “Huh?”
“Is there something on my ass?” He attempted to look at said fine behind, brushing away at it with both hands.
Busted. I was so very busted. And to have this happen after he’d stated I didn’t do it for him. Oh, the shame. I should ship my libido to Alaska for a season or two, cool the stupid thing off.
The brushing of said bottom continued for a moment then he fortunately moved on, picking up the spare room key. “I’m going to take this so when I come back to check on you tonight, if you’re sleeping, I won’t wake you with any knocking. Okay?”
Normally, no, it wouldn’t be okay. But I was reasonably certain he was not a murderer. If he’d intended to do anything bad then he’d have already done it. Also, his brother, mother, friends, and the people on the front desk all knew he’d been coming and going, so I nodded. Given how woozy I’d been yesterday and my fever during the night, having someone check on me seemed wise.
“All right.” A big hand brushed over his butt one more time and he frowned. “I’ll see you later, Alex.”
Phew.
CHAPTER SIX
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