I have written about contradictions before in other End of Book Shits but I think it fits perfectly with the theme of this story, which is about a very non-traditional way to find love. I love writing characters that aren’t what they appear to be, and even though I knew Quin’s back story before I started this book, I cannot even tell you how much I enjoyed writing the chapter where Rochelle figures out he’s normal. He’s the opposite of me, right? Quin starts out in a very nuclear family doing all these very nuclear family things growing up. And he ends up in a very serious plural relationship as he tries to figure out if he’s capable of loving someone in a “normal” way. The only guy in the whole series who had a good example of “normal” as a kid, can’t decide if he’s normal. Such a great contradiction. And such a great lesson too. That you can do everything perfect and still fuck it up. I’m sure his father thought he was doing a great job. But there was a cost. To Kitty Foster, for sure. But also to Quin. Because all he saw in the end was his mother’s unhappiness with his father’s perfection. Maybe perfect isn’t all it’s cracked up to be? But the part of Quin I like best is that what he has with Smith and Bric feels normal to him. So it is. It’s not weird. It just how it is.
The other day I got a card in the mail. It was a thank you card from a woman named Kathy who lives not too far from me and runs a sanctuary dedicated to donkeys. Now, if you hang out with me on Facebook you know I have two donkeys. (Paris and Nicole). People kinda think this is cool and unusual. Is it? I’m not sure. I guess I could’ve just gotten horses when we moved out to this farm ten years ago, but I didn’t. I wanted donkeys. And there was Kathy’s donkey sanctuary on the internet (Longhopes, it’s called), proclaiming her love for all things donkey. And she wasn’t far away, so we decided to go down there and get us some donkeys. Paris and Nicole were only two years old when they were rescued from an auction meant to send them down to Mexico to be in a rodeo show. I don’t know what they do with donkeys in a Mexican rodeo, but Kathy was against it. So she goes to these auctions, buys these donkeys, and brings them back to her farm to get treatment and be cared for until she finds other people like her (and me too, I guess) who want to take them home. When we were there she had about thirty rescue donkeys.
She was the nicest person ever. You know how when you go to a shelter and try and adopt and the people make you feel bad because you have a job and can’t give that cat or dog one hundred percent of your time? Or they tell you no deal on a pit bull because you have kids. (I grew up with pit bulls, their sweetness potential is through the roof). Or they say your fence isn’t high enough or your yard isn’t big enough. Well, Kathy didn’t do any of this stuff. She said, “OK, It’s a $650 donation for the pair. If you ever want to get rid of them you have to tell me and I’ll come take them back and refund your money.” Refund your money, bitches. She did come out to our farm to look over our barn, our fence, our pastures, and our dogs. She delivered the donkeys at the same time. So just super helpful.
You’re probably wondering why I’m telling you about my donkeys. I’m getting there.
I got that thank you card in the mail from the shelter because they had sent out an email a few weeks before, asking for help. One of her donkeys, Bam Bam, had some really infected teeth that were causing him a lot of pain. He couldn’t eat, he was losing weight, and he needed to see a specialist. So she took him up to the vet hospital at Colorado State University (the same university I went to and studied equine science) and they told her it was going to be about $3000 to fix Bam Bam. She doesn’t really have an extra $3000 to spare for one donkey, so she sent that email asking for help. If she couldn’t get him the help he needed, he’d have to be put down.
I send her money, not regularly, but I’ve done it a few times. And even though there are a lot of other things to spend money on that do a world of good (much more good than one lady with a donkey sanctuary) I decided Bam Bam needed saving and sent her money for this too. It wasn’t the whole amount, but it was a good amount. They met their goal that same day she sent the email. There are more people than me who believe in her and what she does. So I got that card in the mail from Bam Bam (seriously, from Bam Bam – it’s got his picture on it and everything) thanking me for my help. He was scheduled for his surgery on April 4th, and he’s gonna update me when he gets home to let me know how he’s doing. So fucking cute, right?
But I had a little guilt about this. I’m thinking – I should be sending money to Doctors Without Borders or people who make it their life’s mission to make sure underdeveloped countries have clean water. I want to help those people too, but I think Kathy and her mission in life—a very non-traditional mission—is worth supporting. She had a dream of helping donkeys. And yeah, there’s a lot of bad things in the world that need fixing, but this was her dream. I liked it. I like that she turned her farm into a place for donkeys and then dedicated her whole life to it. It’s a big commitment to dedicate one’s entire life to something. Especially donkeys.
And so even though I don’t have to justify who I give my money to, I did justify it by acknowledging her non-traditional life. I decided I’m helping her make her dream come true. I’m just a little flicker of light in her dream. Barely anything because she’s doing all the hard work. Donkeys, man. Not he easiest animal to deal with.
I like the non-traditional path through life. I’ve made a lot of non-traditional decisions and even though some of them were stupid, I learned new things about myself, and the world, from taking those risks.