“Thanks for driving him home,” Jed said. “He was never a big drinker, but when he lost his job, it took a toll on both of them.”
“You remember that?” she asked. “I only have vague memories, and I’m never sure if they’re real or not.”
“You were only eight, but I was eleven. He wasn’t as bad as Mom. There were a few months when things were pretty fucked up, but then he sobered up. One night Crys looked at him and said she didn’t like the way his breath smelled. That he didn’t smell like her daddy anymore. And that was it. He stopped drinking that night. He was killed ten months later by a drunk driver.”
Bear must have felt her knees weaken, because he held her tighter.
“I don’t remember saying that to him, either,” she said.
“It was you, Crys,” Jed said. “You saved him from ending up like her. He loved you so damn much. He would have given his life for you.”
“For you, too,” Bear said to Jed. “I’m sure of it.”
She looked back at the trailer, hating her mother even more. “I can’t do this. I can’t go in there. If he could sober up, why couldn’t she?” She pushed from Bear’s arms. “Do you have any idea, Jed? Do you remember anything?”
Sadness filled Jed’s eyes, and he reached for her hand. “Listen, shrimp. There are some things you don’t want to know.”
She wrenched her hand free. “Bullshit. I can handle anything. Just tell me.”
Jed hesitated, glancing at Bear.
“Don’t look at him wondering if I can handle it,” she snapped. “I have been to hell and back. There’s nothing I can’t handle.”
Jed clenched his jaw. “Dad found out she’d had an affair, and he gave her an ultimatum. Stop drinking and clean up her act, or he was going to leave and take us with him. She didn’t stop.”
“Obviously. And…?”
“He’d gone to Peaceful Harbor to see about renting a place there.” Jed glanced at Bear, dropped his eyes, and finally met her gaze. “He was killed on the way home.”
“He was leaving her?” She stumbled backward, unable to hear past the rush of blood in her ears. “He was leaving her? I have put myself through this every month because I thought he would want me to take care of her, and he was leaving her?”
“Babe.” Bear reached for her, but she stepped away.
“No. This is…He died trying to save us. Because of her.”
“She turned me into a thief.” Jed’s hands fisted. “I’m not trying to dodge taking responsibility, but you should know the truth. I stole to make sure we had food on the table.”
Crystal’s jaw dropped. “You stole for her? That’s why you did it? All this time, you told me it was who you were!”
“It was,” he seethed. “What did you expect me to do? You had to eat. You needed clothes. Fuck, Chrissy. I did what I had to do. But I’m done. I’ve cleaned up my act, and I want to move away from here and find an apartment. Find a solid job. Forty hours a week instead of the part-time shit I’m doing now. I’m meeting with the attorney about my license this week, and hopefully I won’t have issues getting it reinstated.”
Crystal grabbed him by the shirt, still stuck on him throwing his life away for her, and hollered through angry tears, “You stole for us? For me? I did that to you?”
Jed wrapped his arms around her even as she struggled against him. “No, you didn’t. She did. I did. But not you, Chrissy. Never you. You always did the right thing.”
She crumpled against her brother, her arms falling limply by her sides as she cried. “He died saving us.”
IT TOOK ALL of Bear’s willpower not to storm into that trailer and give their mother a piece of his mind.
“I can’t go in there,” Crystal said.
“Never again, baby.” Bear reached for her, and she came willingly into his arms. “Never again. And, Jed, you need an apartment? We can help you out. Quincy needs a roommate.” This was what they did. They took care of family. Maybe Crystal was right. Maybe there was such a thing as being too loyal. Maybe it was time he made a change, too.
She pushed from his arms, her sad eyes turning fierce, her spine straightening with all the confidence and determination she’d always possessed.
“I have spent enough of my life being sad, or angry, or not understanding why she is the way she is.” She swiped at her eyes and stormed toward the trailer with Bear and Jed on her heels. “I’m done with this once and for all.”
“Babe.” Bear touched her arm to slow her down. “You sure you want to do this and not calm down first?”
With a dark look in her eyes, she said, “Damn sure.”
The harsh smell of smoke and wasted life hung in the air as they approached the trailer. Through the door Bear saw a bleached blonde sitting on a plaid sofa. She had a cigarette in one hand and was flipping through a magazine. A half-empty beer bottle sat on an old coffee table beside three empties.
She glanced up as Crystal stormed in, bloodshot eyes moving from her daughter to Bear and then to Jed. She returned her lazy gaze to the magazine. “I don’t have enough food for an extra person.”
Bear fought the urge to grab her by the collar and shake her.
Crystal was trembling, hands fisted, jaw clenched tight. “You drove him away.”
Their mother’s eyes lifted again, and she took a long drag of her cigarette. Jed stepped around Bear, but Crystal moved in front of him, focused on having this showdown. “How could we mean so little to you?” she accused. “How could you choose booze over us and Dad?”
Their mother slid a disgusted look to Jed. “You opened your big mouth, didn’t you? Just like your father.”
“I’d be lucky to be just like him.” Jed stood tall and supportive beside Crystal.
Their mother scoffed.
“I am done,” Crystal seethed. “Done feeling guilty about going off to college to save myself, done listening to you demean us.” Tears brimmed in her eyes. “I don’t know why you’d turn your back on us, on Dad, or what screwed you up so badly that you ended up like this. And frankly, I don’t care. This is the last time I’m coming here.”
“You think your father was so perfect?” Her mother pushed to her feet, wobbling on sky-high heels. “You have no idea what he was like.”
Jed stepped between them. “Yes, she does. She knows all of it. I’m done protecting and enabling you. No more stealing, no more giving you money that you’ll just drink away.”
“You two think you’re so special. You don’t know what he was like. He promised me a good life, and look where I am!” their mother yelled. “He left us.”
“No,” Crystal said, sounding as though she’d simply given up trying to convince the woman of a damn thing. “He was killed trying to get us out of this hellhole. It was you who left us, long before we lost him.”