But Cedar didn’t exist.
I looked down at the people of Carrandell and watched them go about their lives. People spoke to each other equally. People smiled at each other without wanting something in return. Shopkeepers helped people to carry goods to their carts and carriers. It took me a while to realise that a good number of the shopkeepers were actually women because they were in trousers, Gehn help me. Trousers. Had I walked about like that back home, as myself, I’d have been arrested. But here, no one gave a second glance, no one stared or whispered. It was wonderful and bizarre, and must have looked bizarre from their point of view to look at me looking at them. So I tore my eyes back to the lower districts.
When I strained my ears I could hear the life that flowed in that part of town. I heard voices talking, laughing and singing; children playing; the toll of temple bells when the sun hit the mid-day mark. I felt the beat of Carrandell beneath my feet and the town was a living, breathing animal. After darkness fell, I had no doubt it still had its whorehouses and streaky taverns and gambling dens, just like any other place. It was balance: light and dark; rich and poor; modest and indecent. I smiled and headed back.
As I turned down the sparsely filled side street I’d managed a handful of steps before rough hands pulled me through a broken-looking door and something clamped over my mouth. I wrestled against the person but whoever it was, was strong and he’d managed to pin my hands behind my back before I could do anything about it.
“Don’t scream,” the man whispered. My eyes widened as the familiar voice washed over my ears.
I struggled again and eventually managed to free my mouth. “Roan?” I said, dread striking up in my heart. “Ric will kill you.”
“They haven’t caught onto me yet,” he said.
“Who’s to say I won’t kill you?” I struggled against him again and flinched as he pulled my arms up higher behind me.
“It’s a difficult thing to do when you’re trapped in someone else’s grip.” I tried turning my head to look at him but he had his hood up. Whatever had happened, he stank like raw sewage.
“I’d rather not be trapped for too long with you smelling like that.” I gagged.
“Look, I don’t have much time before-”
He flinched, clutching his head and grunted while pain flashed across him. I went deathly still, keeping silent until the spell had passed.
“What’s going on?” I asked frantically. “How did you even get into Carrandell?”
“Through the lower district,” he started. “There’re old tunnels, unmanaged routes that the town forgot about and lead straight up to the main district.”
“But, doesn’t that mean the Berserkers can get in?”
He hesitated. “Yes, it does.” I went cold.
“How did you know I’d be here, though? Don’t tell me it was coincidence-”
“I tracked you; followed you from that place,” he said. “I’ve been hanging around for days waiting to catch you by yourself. Had to cover myself in whosever shit this is to mask my smell so the beast didn’t catch on.” He waited for another spell to pass. “There’s going to be an attack.”
“I don’t understand-”
“Daniel has been planning it for a while. When he brought word about the information he’d gathered at the House of Adrian he finally collected the fighters he needed. Seems that whatever he found out triggered something and everyone just sprang to it, like they’d been waiting for years. We’ve made our camp just under Redstone, that gives you maybe two or three days. I don’t know exactly.” He grimaced. “Because of the power you share collectively they’re going to try catching you by surprise. You won’t be able to see it coming. Daniel’s too smart.” He spoke in short bursts.
“Why are you telling me this?” I asked him. “A few days ago you were trying to abduct me.”
“Something you did changed me. I don’t know if it’s because you finally smacked some sense into me but my mind isn’t always clouded.” He released my arms and clutched my hand in his, turning me to face him. “I don’t want to be a monster.”
He shook his head as another round of agony shot through him. I brushed his hand aside and before my common sense kicked in I threw my arms around him. “You won’t be for long, I promise. You’re my brother and my friend and always will be.”
He trembled, using every ounce of his willpower to keep the evil within him from surging into his mind a little while longer. He embraced me and kissed my forehead, leaving a wet smear from where the tears cut down his cheeks and he pushed me away.
“You have to go.” He wiped his face, smearing the dirt on his chin along with it. “Let the others know and make them believe it. If you aren’t prepared, you’ll all die.”
I nodded and tried not to run as he pushed me out the door and back onto the street.
As I’d predicted Ric and Lavender were furious that I’d disappeared but when I told them what had just happened, they hauled me into the back of the cart and set off back home faster than I’d ever seen a cart drive.
“HOW CAN YOU possibly believe that we can trust his word?” Ethan asked that night. Ric and Lavender sat around the kitchen table while we shared our evening meal. The plate in front of me remained untouched.
“I don’t know,” I shrugged, “but I think we’d be absolute idiots to ignore his warning regardless.”
“Stop letting your love for your brother cloud your judgement,” Ethan yelled.
“I’m not,” I yelled back and stood, causing the table to shake. “In case you don’t remember he tried to drag me through the run-off grate the other day, and it wasn’t a rescue attempt. I’m well and truly pissed at him, but it doesn’t mean that I’m going to act like a spoilt child and stomp my feet just because I’m angry.” My dig at him didn’t go unmissed as he scoffed and started pacing.
“It’s still unbelievable. Suddenly Roan turns up, doesn’t even try abducting you, and then he tells you about an ambush?”
“And he said that something I did changed him,” I said, wringing my hands. “He said he didn’t want to be a monster.”
“All of them say that when they’re cornered.”
“But we weren’t. There were at least two exits and he found me, not the other way around. Why would he lie about something to get out of a situation he was in by choice?” I sighed and explained for the final time. “Roan pulled me off the street. He could have taken me to Stephan then and there, so why didn’t he? What could he possibly gain by lying about an ambush?”
Ethan was silent.
“What’s the worst that could happen?” Ric tore into a chunk of rye bread. “We either waste some time preparing for something that doesn’t happen or we survive what sounds like a bloody awful fight.”