“Are you regretting asking?”
“I don’t know.” I leave it at that, unsure how to say the rest of what’s going through my mind: that it’s thrilling to finally understand her better. But, at the same time, I’m hurting from the pain I imagine she feels every day.
Ali lets her gaze wander to the notebook I dropped next to her. She stares at it for a long moment, and her smile takes on a slightly impish look. “So did you like my adjustments?”
I cup her face in both my hands, stroking my thumb over her cheek. For once, she doesn’t pull away, and I swear the pain fades from her eyes. Now there’s a gentleness in her expression, timid and hesitant, but trusting. She’s let her guard down because of me. Maybe even for me.
I lean forward, until the gap between us is closed, and press my lips against hers.
At first she freezes, unsure how to react to my kiss. But then she kisses me back. Her lips are soft and delicate, but there’s a strength to her kiss that surprises me and makes me want more. More of the kiss, more of her lips, more of Ali.
I twine my fingers in her hair and gently press her closer. I half expect her to pull away, but instead she reaches out and wraps her arms around my neck. Her skin is warm and smooth against mine.
Our kiss seems to last forever, but I’m still not satisfied when I pull back. I rest my forehead against hers and smile at her, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. She smiles back, the kind of smile that says she’s happy. Not just satisfied, not just content, but happy. She quietly murmurs, “Can I assume that means you liked the changes I made?”
I pull her close to my chest, so that our hearts are pressed against each other, and I can feel the rapid pattering of her heartbeat. Her breath is warm against my collarbone, and her fingers trace the edge of my scar.
“They’re perfect,” I whisper in her ear. I kiss her forehead and then pull away a little so I can sign, “Absolutely perfect.”
22
JACE
KILLER COMES BOUNDING into the RV shortly after Ali drifts off to sleep. I’m a little worried about her sleeping so much, but I guess it’s to be expected. She probably hasn’t gotten a full night’s sleep in years, not if she’s been living in an abusive home. I still remember trying to force myself into fitful sleep, holding my breath as I listened for any sign that my dad had woken up from his drug-induced stupor. And then there was the first time I spent the night at Killer’s place—I’d slept for fifteen hours straight, and had only woken up when Killer tried taking my pulse to make sure I wasn’t in a coma.
“Dude!” Killer says as he comes skidding to a stop in front of me. “Seriously, what is wrong with you?”
I pull Ali’s sleeping form a little closer. What’s his problem? If anyone needs to be more discreet, it’s him and Arrow.
I open my mouth to say this, but then I realize Killer isn’t talking about Ali. He’s pointing to my mouth and gaping at me with an exaggerated expression of shock. Typical Killer.
“What?” I mutter, even though I know exactly why he’s surprised.
“You’re actually smiling. Do I need to call 9-1-1 or something? You’re not going to drop dead on me, are you?”
“You don’t need to act so damn shocked,” I say. “It’s not like you haven’t seen me smile before.”
He ignores me and points excitedly at Ali’s sleeping form. “Are you two together now?”
I nod and brace myself for the wave of uneasiness I’m sure is about to hit me. I’m not the type to “be” with a girl, at least not for longer than one night. Being with someone means handing my emotions over to them, and that never ends prettily.
But the uneasiness doesn’t come. As hesitant as I am to believe it, I think a relationship with Ali might actually be worth the potential pain.
Holy shit. Did I just use the “r” word?
Ali stirs in my arms and nuzzles closer to me in her sleep, a soft smile on her mouth. I trail my fingertip along her full lips, tracing the contours of her smile. I’ve had hundreds, probably even thousands, of girls flash me smiles. But none of them have been as pretty as Ali’s. Hers is hesitant, like she isn’t used to happiness, and it’s hard not to share her good mood when I know I’m the reason for the gentle expression.
The RV door opens and slams shut, and Arrow walks into the room. The second he sees Ali curled up in my arms, his expression darkens. I instinctively tighten my grasp on her.
He shakes his head in disbelief. “What . . . ?”
“Don’t even start,” I snap.
He throws his hands up in defeat and sits right next to Killer on the other couch. “I’m just saying—”
“That they’re absolutely adorable together!” Killer interrupts, clapping his hands together excitedly.
I raise an eyebrow at Arrow. “You let Killer have caffeine, didn’t you?”