“How did Hadley have PCP in her system?” I asked shakily. I knew I shouldn’t, I knew I wasn’t supposed to question him, but he could’ve killed her.
Collin’s eyes narrowed. “Ask her yourself when she’s back to normal. It’s probably from all those clubs she goes—”
“She doesn’t go to clubs. What did you do, Collin?” I whispered, pain for my sister evident in my voice. “It was salt. I threw up because I’d been so scared and unable to breathe while trying to eat the eggs, that my stomach kept churning until they came back up. I would never poison you, and you almost killed Had—”
“Don’t finish that assumption,” he warned.
“Where did you even see her? Why can’t you just leave my family out of this?” I knew what I was about to say could have the opposite reaction I was going for, but I had to try. “If I wasn’t always so afraid of you hurting them, I probably wouldn’t mess up so often!”
His lips twitched, and he turned to look into a mirror so he could knot his tie. “Don’t act like this was anyone’s fault other than your own. It was just a coincidence that I decided to have lunch at the same place Hadley was at with a friend. We talked for a few minutes when her friend went to the bathroom, and I made sure Hadley had . . .” His hands stopped fidgeting with his tie, and his eyes found mine in the mirror. “. . . salt.”
I inhaled audibly and my head started shaking, like I could make the words go away. I’d known, but hearing his pseudo-admission still shocked me. I don’t know why—nothing should have shocked me about Collin anymore. “I hate you.”
A few things happened at the exact moment I realized I’d said those words out loud instead of just thinking them. I stopped breathing, Collin froze and his lifeless eyes turned murderous, and I knew—I knew—I’d made a mistake. Not just in finally saying those fated three words, but with Knox. In not letting him take me away . . . in not trying to get away from Collin.
I knew right then that if I had my whole life to do over again, I would’ve waited for Knox. That if I only had the past two and a half years to do over again, I would’ve fought harder to get away from Collin until I’d succeeded. That if I only had the past two weeks to do over again, I would’ve begged Knox to help me get away from Collin, and would’ve spent my life running from my monster, as long as I got to spend it with the man who had always held my heart.
Funny the things you realize, the things you wish you’d done differently, and the things you just wish you’d done when you know your life is about to end. And I had no doubt my life was minutes from being over.
With a slowness that sent a chill through my veins, Collin dropped his head and turned to face me. When his body was facing mine, his head stayed down but his eyes lifted. “Do you want to repeat that?”
I didn’t move, and I didn’t respond. I knew he didn’t want me to.
He took one slow step toward me, and my body tightened in preparation for what was to come. He took another, and my eyes met his. He took another, and I turned and ran from the room.
I’d only made it two steps into the hallway before he grabbed on to my hair and slammed me into the hallway wall—the force sent a couple of pictures and a painting crashing onto the hardwood floor. My head bounced off the wall, and I tripped over one of the pictures as I tried to keep going, but he still had my hair fisted in his hand.
Collin pulled me back roughly until my back was to his chest, and he whispered into my ear, “Again. Do you want to repeat that?”
I blinked away the dark spots in my vision, and then realized I had blood dripping from my forehead. I swiped at it and whimpered when he jerked my head back. “Collin, please.”
“Please, what?”
“Don’t do this.”
He laughed, but it sounded more like a sneer. “Not a question this time. Repeat what you said,” he demanded.
I shook my head and a cry bubbled up my throat.
“Tell me what you said!” His entire body jerked with the force of his command.
“I hate you.” The words were a whisper, and I barely had them out before he moved from behind me and flung me onto the floor. I hadn’t had time to brace for the impact, and now it felt like my entire head was ready to explode.
Collin’s weight fell onto me quickly, his knees pinned my hands to the hard ground, and like he had done so many times this week, his hand went around my throat and squeezed. His hand forced a cry out of me, and I immediately began bucking underneath him.
“You hate me now? After everything I’ve done for you? After everything I’ve given you?” he roared, and squeezed tighter.
I’d stopped fighting against him by the time he’d finished yelling. Hitting my head twice, losing so much blood from my forehead, and him cutting off my air made the fight go out of me faster than it ever had before.