His full lips tilted up in the faintest of smiles, but his eyes showed he wasn’t finding anything about this amusing. “You thought you’d never see me again? I thought you would go back to Seattle after you graduated from Whitman. And now you are sitting in a coffee shop in Richland, twenty minutes from where I live, and just a few from where I work. It’s safe to say, Low, that I thought I would never see you again.”
“I’ve been in Richland for years,” I admitted.
Knox’s eyebrows rose in shock, and a mix of frustration and pain showed on his face for a second before it fell. “Years,” he stated dully. “You’ve been here for years? Why? And why didn’t I know?”
My jaw trembled as I slowly held up my left hand. Knox didn’t look at it, but his dark eyes hardened. “I never graduated.”
“Years,” he said again. His voice held no emotion, and though it hadn’t come across as a question, I nodded my head anyway. “Then it’s safe to assume he was . . .” he trailed off.
I didn’t answer, I couldn’t. Because if I did, I would say things I shouldn’t. That I’d made a mistake, that I’d married a monster, that I dreamed of Knox almost nightly, that I’d dreamed of this right here. He must have seen the answer in my eyes—known Collin was the same guy I’d chosen over Knox—because he smiled sadly at me.
“I see.” My tears fell harder at his acknowledgment, and Knox cupped my cheek with his hand. “Low . . . why are you crying?”
As much as I’d longed for this moment, I couldn’t let it continue. As much as I wanted to fall into Knox’s arms and never leave, I needed to get away from him. This was dangerous.
“I’m sorry, I have to go.” I slipped out of the side of the large chair, and he rocked back from my sudden change in position.
“Harlow, wait!”
I’d barely gotten outside when he grabbed my arm; the action caused me to automatically jerk in preparation of what would come—but the shaking never came. Other than the involuntary reaction to being grabbed, my body knew he wouldn’t hurt me; my heart knew the hand holding me.
When there was nothing but silence behind me, I slowly turned to face him. His wide eyes and slack jaw told me he hadn’t missed how I’d responded to him, but thankfully he didn’t comment on it.
“Please don’t leave,” he finally whispered. “Not after I’ve finally found you again.”
“Found me?” I whispered in confusion. As much as those words warmed something inside me, I knew he couldn’t have meant them. Not after what I’d done to him. “I’m married, Knox,” I unnecessarily stated what he obviously knew.
“I know.” The look on his face was something I wish I could erase. “Just talk to me. Tell me about all the years I missed. Let me feed you,” he said with an uneasy laugh as his eyes quickly darted over my too-thin body.
“We can’t.”
“Low,” he pleaded, and my eyes shut so I wouldn’t have to see the look in his dark eyes. The one I knew I would give anything for. “I haven’t seen you or heard from you in years,” he said, his voice soft. “Please.”
When I opened my eyes, I kept them trained on his chest, refusing to look up at his face. My mind was at war as everything in me screamed different things. Screamed what Collin would do if he found out, screamed to tell Knox everything, but most important, screamed at me to leave.
Fall 2009—Seattle
I JUMPED OUT of my car and ran through the parking lot toward the coffee shop as I tried to escape the rain. It was pointless, though; I was still soaked by the time I reached the door. I welcomed the heat and amazing smells that hit me as soon as I was inside, and tried to brush back my wild hair sticking to my face as I walked toward the front registers.
“Low?”
I paused midstep and brushed furiously at the wet strands of hair still stubbornly clinging to my cheeks before turning to find the man that voice belonged to. I’d know that voice anywhere. That voice that moved through my body like a welcome shiver.
Knox.
A wide smile spread across my face when I saw him standing up from one of the chairs in the corner of the shop. He quickly stepped around the other chairs filled with people he’d been sitting with and walked up to grab me in a hug that seemed to last forever—and not nearly long enough. It had been almost three weeks since I’d seen him, and while I noticed the feeling of rightness that only came with being near Knox, and how it felt like I was finally whole again, I loved that it still somehow felt like we’d never been apart.
He released me enough to cup one of my cheeks in his large hand, and just stared at me for a few seconds before saying anything. “God, look at you.”
I was positive I looked like a drowned rat. But with the awe in his tone, and the way his dark eyes were moving over my face, I felt like I’d never looked more beautiful.
“Well, I guess this is one way to get around only seeing each other once or twice a month.”
Knox smirked. “Less than a year, and then there’s nothing keeping me from you.”
“We’ll see if you still feel that way when the time comes,” I teased, and pressed my body closer to his.
He didn’t find it funny. His smirk fell and his dark eyes held mine. “I’m still waiting for you; nothing’s going to change that.”
“And you’re still wasting your time.”