Luca’s voice washes over me like salvation. He’s alive!
Although he probably should be lying down, not running around a crowded warehouse. And he definitely shouldn’t be chasing after my brother in his condition.
And I realize something else—Luca will kill him. Taking him in alive, turning him over to the authorities. Those things might have been possible if Alex was apprehended by one of the men at the entrance. Maybe even after the dirty fight.
But now he’s kidnapped me. Luca will never let him live.
“Let me go,” I say urgently. “It’s only a matter of time until he gets in here.”
Alex pulls out a gun. “You think I don’t have a backup plan?”
My mouth goes dry. “Please, no.”
He looks at me with such solemn sorrow, the crowds of religious furor clearing for a moment, and I know I’m seeing my brother for maybe the first time. “Do you really want him?”
I really want him, with every scar and shadow he comes with. “Yes.”
His gaze lingers on the gun, contemplative, his hold turning sideways. “Then there isn’t anything left on this earth for me to do, is there?”
Horror seizes me as I realize how he plans to end this.
“There’s not just hope for her,” I say, urgent as more banging comes from the door. I twist my hands, managing not to wince at the harsh burn against my wrist. If I strain, I can just barely reach the knot with my fingers. “There’s hope for us too. You. Me. We can live normal lives, too.”
He laughs, harsh and cold. “We’ll never be normal.”
I know that now. It was a false dream. I came from Harmony Hills, both the good and the bad. That’s my history. We can’t ever escape our memories, not really, but we can learn from them. And we can go on living.
“I know it won’t be easy, but we can find a new faith. One that works for us. And maybe, with time, we can…” I close my eyes, knowing this is the answer. And the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do. “We can forgive.”
“You’re lying,” he snarls. “You’re delusional.”
“Maybe. Or maybe I finally learned the lessons. Not of Leader Allen, but the Bible itself. What it was trying to tell us all along.”
Alex turns the gun to himself. “It’s just an old book, Sarah Elizabeth.”
The gun expands from half an inch to fill the whole room. It’s all I can see, because for maybe the first time ever, I understand forgiveness. It’s not only Leader Allen I need to forgive, not only Alex. It’s myself. I don’t only need to live for Delilah. I want to live for myself, for Luca. I want to live for the sake of living, for the beauty and the evil and every shade in between. I want to take a bite of the apple, because it’s the only thing that matters.
“Call me Beth,” I say gently, working furiously at the knot. “That’s my name now.”
“You can’t just change your name,” he says, pleading, hands sharking violently as he stares down the barrel. “You can’t just go on with your life like none of it happened. Like it doesn’t matter.”
“It matters, Alex. It matters so much sometimes that you’d rather die than go on living. I understand that. And I’m grateful that I had Delilah to keep me holding on during those times.”
His eyes are bleak. “And what do I have?”
The rope falls to the floor. “You have me.”
I put my palm up, waiting. I won’t fight him. I wouldn’t win. He has to choose this—choose family, choose life. One breathless moment, then two. He sets the gun down on the floor and takes my hand.
The door bursts open.
Luca rushes into the door, looking like a wild bull on a rampage. He’s covered in blood and bruises, his face twisted in a snarl. He’ll kill Alex with his bare hands. He reaches him before I do, throwing a punch that sends Alex back into the lockers.
I throw myself in front of my brother, because sometimes you have to forgive. You have to make your own faith in this crazy world we live in. And I believe in Luca.
Chapter Twenty-One
Waves send music through the open window. The smell of salt floats in on the breeze. Three weeks in paradise and I still marvel at every moment. Hawaii is a land of ocean and lava, of sand and stone. A crack in the earth built for us. After my brother agreed to work for Ivan—a kind of criminal penance, after I got Delilah back from a tearful Candy, we made our own Eden.
“Slow,” he says.
I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life for this. And I don’t have any patience left. I push my hips down, only to wince. He’s too large.
“Slow,” he says, sharper this time. His hands grasp my hips, holding them in place.
So far we’ve done everything but sex, again and again, in every position possible. He wanted to explore my body; he wanted me to explore his. Until I’m begging to feel him. There’s an ache deep inside me that only he can fill.
I’m on top of him, knees spread wide over his hips. “I can’t.”
“We can wait, little bird.”