Still Ana stood motionless, just staring me down.
Reaching out to her mind since I couldn’t talk, I nervously cried, Um, Ana? Little help?
Chapter 28
The Grove
After spinning on the ball of her foot, she stalked over to the remaining columns of the temple and took her time perusing each of the carvings. When she was finally done, she snapped her fingers and finally gave me back control of my body. I was fuming by the time I shifted out of the grit and took human form. I’d tried freeing myself, but somehow, she was blocking me. Angrily, I beat my hands against my black shirt, vainly trying to get the dust off.
“What was all that about?” I shouted, staring her down.
Ignoring my question, she waved a hand, and I was immediately wrapped in a cyclone that sucked away all the dirt like one of Nilima’s vacuum cleaners, only goddess powered.
“Stop it!” I yelled from inside the tunnel of wind. If she heard me, she didn’t bother to respond. When I was released from her brand of helping, I stormed over to her and took hold of her arm, spinning her so she’d look at me. I knew she hated to be manhandled, and now that I knew the reason and saw her startled reaction, I regretted laying hands on her. It was easier to drop my hand than it was to let go of my irritation. “Would you kindly tell me why you trapped me in there?”
“I was punishing you,” she said simply, hands on hips.
“And what, pray tell, have I done to upset you now? You certainly weren’t mad a few minutes ago when you were stroking my ears, so I assume this is a new development.”
Her cheeks turned a becoming shade of pink. “I don’t want to talk about it,” she said and stomped over to the temple entrance.
Chasing after her, I said, “I think we need to. In fact, I think we need to set some ground rules.”
“Why do men always think they can steer a woman in the direction they wish simply by creating rules?” she asked.
“Maybe men like rules so they know exactly what to expect. Rules make for an orderly life.”
“Ha! Or-der-ly?” she yelled, shoving my shoulder. “More like or-der. Your kind of order.” She accented each word with a jab of her finger against my chest. “The kind where you can tell me what to do.”
“In case you missed it, I was the one being controlled by you, not the other way around.” I stepped forward, trapping her between my body and the temple wall so she no longer had the ability to poke my chest. Her palm flattened against it, but she didn’t push me back, though I would have let her if she had. “I’m not trying to tell you what to do,” I said, gritting my teeth. “I’m simply trying to understand what I did to cause you to trap me inside a statue for the better part of an hour.”
Ana rolled her eyes. “It wasn’t an hour. It was only a few minutes.”
“It felt like an hour!” My temper was heating up again like it had when we’d first been stuck together in the past. I’d thought all that volatile emotion was behind us. The woman was so infuriating.
Ana barked, “You were fine!”
“I was trapped!”
“If anyone is trapped, it’s me!” she yelled, grabbing my shirt with both fists and jostling me until I nearly stumbled. She was strong. Perhaps stronger than both me and Ren combined. Before I knew it, she’d reversed our positions and slammed my back against the wall. Her grip on my shirt was so tight I heard a small tear. Ana’s eyes were bright with anger and fear and…and something else, something I couldn’t identify.
Raising my hands in the air, palms up, I calmed my voice and said, “You’re not trapped, Ana. See? I’m not holding you. You’re holding me.”
“But I am trapped,” she said with a pleading quality I’d never heard from her before. “I’m a prisoner. The chains of my past…they weigh me down, holding me to a memory of something vile. Then, when I look ahead, the chains of duty stretch before me. Between the two, I feel as if I am being torn in half, everything good in me spilling out in the space between. I don’t know which side will win. Either way, I lose.”
I remembered the broken young woman then, the one who’d begged me to teach her how to defend herself. Immediately, my temper cooled and I reached out to smooth her hair away from her face. “I understand, Ana. This life we’ve given ourselves over to is not an easy one.”
“I don’t want them to win, Sohan—not the cosmos that fashions me for its own purpose and not the master of slaves who used me. I want to find a measure of happiness amidst it all—a pleasant middle ground. Is that too much to expect? Is it?”
“No, Ana. It’s not. So, then tell me what makes you happy. What is it you want?”
“I want to…I want…”
She licked her lips, her expression manic. I nodded my encouragement, but she remained mute. Then determination lit her face and she knotted her fingers in the fabric of my shirt and tugged. Before I knew what was happening, her mouth slammed down over mine. When I tried to back away and extricate myself from her desperate embrace, she cried out and slid her hand behind my head, forcing me to stay.
What are you doing? I asked her, mind to mind, but she had effectively put up a wall between us. I could no more read her than I could see through a stone. I stopped struggling against her as she kissed me again. It was feverish but simple at the same time. Ana’s kisses were a child-like pressing of lip against lip. I didn’t respond to it. Even if I’d wanted to, I was too shocked to understand what she wanted or needed from me. After a long moment, she backed away, her face washed with tears and pain.
She dropped her hands from my chest, backing away from me as abruptly as if she’d stepped into a thorny bush, and touched her fingers to her mouth. A dozen emotions churned in her expression, but she brusquely turned away any attempts from me at silent communication.
“Ana,” I began out loud, taking a step toward her.
“No,” she said, shaking her head back and forth and twirling her fingers to immediately dry her tears. “No, Kishan. We will not speak of it.”
Turning on her heel, she left the temple. Letting out a long breath, I followed, running my hands down my shirtfront to straighten the deep wrinkles, and then explored the tear along the side with my finger. Without even looking at me, she waved her hand and the two of us were wrenched away in time and space.
When I came to myself, we were standing knee deep in the snow. I shivered and turned in a circle. We were somewhere high up. Higher than our mountain home. The threads of the scarf circled around both me and Ana at the same time, fashioning a heavy coat, gloves, and thick boots. A vast plain stretched out as far as I could see on one side, and on the other, tall mountain peaks disappeared into the clouds. “Let me guess,” I said. “We’re going to create Shangri-La?”
Ana nodded. “Stand back, Kishan.”
As she raised her hands, I said, “So I’m just Kishan again? Why, Ana? Is it because I didn’t kiss you back?”
“It does not matter.”
“It does.”
“Not as much as accomplishing our work.”
“If you say so, but we will need to talk about this at some point.”
“That point is not today. Besides, do you not want to get out of the snow?”