I was well into month two, carving my broken gemstone egg, when the knife slipped and a piece of the stone broke off. I nicked my finger and quickly put it into my mouth as I considered the flaw I’d made in my work. Something about it was familiar. I peered at it, trying to see the thing it was going to be beneath the surface. My breath caught and my heart started beating quickly. A silly sort of giggle erupted from my mouth, and I twisted the object, making sure I was seeing what I thought I was seeing.
“Is it possible?” I mumbled. The only one in the room was Anamika and she couldn’t hear me as far as I knew. The colors were right. The size would work, but my mind couldn’t truly grasp that it was happening. Testing out my idea, I began carving again, this time with the new image in my mind. The outer layers of the gemstone peeled away like soft butter as my knife drew down one edge, almost like it was helping me shape it into what it was destined to be. I ran my finger across the fresh cut. There was no mistaking it now.
The thing I held in my hand wasn’t yet but would someday be the Rajaram family seal.
It was clear to me that something very plain and precious had been in my hands all that time and I just couldn’t see it. I had resigned myself to my fate, believing that I had failed my quest, and had decided that I could have a happy life in the past, serving Anamika’s family and watching over her until I died. But seeing the seal of my family coming to life in my hands was a miracle. It symbolized the future.
Renewed with hope, I set aside the knife and knelt at Ana’s side, placing the truth stone on the bed beside her. Picking up her hand, I pressed it to my lips and tried to see in her the precious thing that was hiding from me, much as the seal had been.
“I know I’m not worthy of you,” I said, rubbing my thumb across her knuckles. “I didn’t save you when you needed me. I wasn’t the companion you deserved.” The truth stone glowed where it lay. A dam inside me burst open, and all the thoughts and words I’d kept inside spilled out. “When Phet said a tiger needed to stay behind, I didn’t want it to be me. I’d been secretly hoping that Ren would take the noble road as he often did and I’d get to go back to Kelsey’s time with her. I didn’t see you for what you were.”
Reaching toward her, I smoothed her dark hair away from her face. “I know you now, Ana. I know the girl you were, the woman I fell for when I was thirteen, the warrior who drove me crazy, and the goddess you have become. Give me a chance. Come back to me. This time I’m choosing this life without reservation. I promise to serve alongside you for the rest of our days.”
I pressed my lips on her brow and gave her a chaste kiss. It took a moment for me to realize my hair, longer than I usually kept it, was fluttering on my neck. I lifted my head and saw the room had become bright, and a brisk wind stirred the curtains at the window. The dark sky outside lit up as lightning struck, and all the hairs on my arms and the back of my neck stood on end.
A voice echoed in the room. It was melodious, like the tinkling of bells, and yet it was so powerful it penetrated my mind and heart like thunder.
Anamika opened her eyes and turned to me. She gave me a sweet smile and said, “Sohan, your offering has been accepted.”
Chapter 23
Teacher
Anamika’s young body lifted in the air and a whirlwind encompassed her. I stood quickly, thinking to catch her, but otherwise not knowing what to do. I knew it was the magic of the goddess at work, and I hoped that it meant I’d finally done enough to be able to bring her back.
The young girl closed her eyes, and fingers of light, wind, and water tore into her at the same time they ripped into me. Heat rushed through me and my limbs trembled. The amulet I wore gleamed with white light that shot toward the girl and pulled out something shimmering. Ana screamed, and all at once, the glowing entity floating above her shot away like a star and disappeared into the darkness outside the window. Breathing heavily, I caught her body as she fell.
As I was setting her back in her bed and adjusting the blanket, her eyes blinked open. “Ana?” I said softly. “Anamika, can you hear me?”
There was no reply. I soon heard a stomping outside her room and her parents entered.
“What happened?” her mother demanded with alarm and a glint of hope. There was no censure in their eyes. They knew I often spent my time watching over her, even late into the night. Her mother almost seemed to have a sixth sense about me and believed that I possessed a touch of magic that could help Ana. I’d once overheard her telling her husband that I was a lucky charm and that the only reason Ana hadn’t wasted away these past few months was because I was sharing my life energy with her.
In a way, she was right. Anamika and I did have a bond. At least, in the future, we did. As to the sharing of energy, I couldn’t say, but I could understand where she got the idea. Bags had formed beneath my eyes, and though I was often exhausted, I rarely slept through the night. When I did occasionally fall asleep in the chair in her room, I’d wake to find Anamika’s mother had checked on me and tucked a blanket around me in the night.
“Maa? Baabaa?” Anamika sat up, rubbing her eyes with her palms.
“Here we are, pyaari beti.”
Ana’s mother pulled her daughter into her arms as I stepped back.
“Mika!” her father said with a choked gasp. “What did you do?” he asked me as he stepped closer and stroked his daughter’s hair.
“Nothing,” I answered. “She woke when the lightning struck.”
“I didn’t hear any thunder,” her mother said as she rocked her daughter back and forth. “Thank you,” she added with tears in her eyes. “You are a gift from the gods.”
Anamika grumbled, “I’m hungry, baabaa.”
As her mother shouted downstairs for a servant to warm up the tureen of soup and some naan bread, lightning struck the ground again. Ana’s parents seemed not to notice. I glanced out the window and saw a figure standing in the dark beneath a tree. When the lightning brightened the sky again, I sucked in a breath, recognition shooting electricity through my veins. It hit a third time and I saw that the person had disappeared.
“Will you excuse me?” I asked. “I’ll leave the three of you to talk.”
They didn’t remark upon my exit. I made my way out to the lone tree and looked all around but saw no one. A pair of footprints were visible in the soft ground, but there were no tracks leading away. “Are you still here?” I asked softly.
“I’m here, son.”
Kadam placed his hand on my shoulder and I turned. My pulse leapt, beating thickly at my throat as I swallowed. Overwhelming emotion coursed through me. I never thought I’d see him again. In fact, I never thought I’d see anyone I loved after my failure to save Anamika. I choked back a sob.
Almost as if he knew the turmoil in my heart, he took hold of my arm and pulled me close. I hugged him to me, desperate to cling to the little bit of my life that was left. His shoulders trembled. He smelled of tea and spices, books and home. I’d missed him so much.
“I failed her,” I lamented in response. The empty feeling I’d been nursing for months had grown in the center of my chest, slowly leeching all my hope and draining me of purpose. Even though Ana had finally woken up and Kadam was even now standing in front of me, darkness yawned, opening its mouth to swallow the small fragments I grasped at. He had come to say good-bye. Whatever my fate, I deserved it. Kadam was here to tell me it was over.
“No.” He stepped back; his hands shook my arms as he looked into my eyes. “No. You didn’t fail her. You saved her. This was how it was supposed to happen.”
Realizing I gaped at him dumbfounded, I shook my head and sputtered, “Supposed to have happened?” I remembered his hasty, cryptic words spoken so long ago. He’d warned me that something harmful was going to happen to Ana and I needed to accept it, allow it to occur.
I jerked away from his grip, but my effort was halfhearted and one of his hands clung to my arm. “I was supposed to let her be abused?” I accused incredulously. “Supposed to let her die? You knew this would happen and you didn’t do a thing to stop it. You’re not the man I thought you were.”