I got distracted when Ren emerged from the needle trees as a man, and the baboon I’d been protecting Kelsey from got in a few good swings. Ren soon put an end to that, and I used the power of the Damon Amulet to send the last two remaining monkeys back to their stony beds.
Following them on their walk back, I was hoping to learn more about their budding relationship, but both of them were stubbornly silent, only speaking when necessary. I couldn’t help feeling like I was missing something. Then Kelsey noticed the Kappa, and eavesdropping moved lower down on my priority list. The demons had left them alone on the journey in, but now that they had the fruit and the monkeys failed, I guess they figured it was their duty to intervene.
I heard Kelsey say, “Uh, Ren? We have company.”
The demons flinched when Ren brandished the gada, but when he said, “Keep going, Kelsey. Move faster!” I heard a hiss and they surged forward. Though I was phased out of time, several of them glanced my way. They didn’t try to attack but they didn’t act exactly friendly toward me either. Like I’d done with the trees, I tried to freeze them in place with the Damon Amulet, but they weren’t affected by my attempts.
Ren and Kells did okay even without my help. I kept vigil next to Kelsey when she fell asleep after the Kappa chased Ren into the trees and took advantage of being alone with her. Stretching out my fingers, I stroked her soft cheek and pulled a leaf or two from her hair. More than anything, I wanted to take her in my arms and keep her safe, protect her from the hurt and pain she would be experiencing, but I had to remind myself that this Kelsey barely knew me then. She believed I didn’t care if she lived or died. That I had no interest in the tiger’s curse.
I was tracing the lines on her palm when she smiled and mumbled Ren’s name in her sleep. Gently, I set down her hand and drew my knees to my chest. Was it too late? Was she already in love with my brother by this point? While I was wondering if I should backtrack further in the timeline, she said Ren’s name again, but this time with an alarmed tone.
Something was wrong. I lifted my head and Ren’s battle cry rang through the forest. I rose immediately. Tracking him through the trees, I followed his scent until I came upon him. He was surrounded by the water demons. Remaining invisible, I rammed into Kappa demons, pushed them off of him, and sent them reeling into the needle trees. More demons approached.
Ren struggled to his feet. Weakened enough not to notice the invisible force helping him in battle, he headed toward them, ready to fight with every last ounce of strength he possessed. I’d always admired Ren in battle. He was clever, calculating, never expending more energy than was absolutely necessary, and never using more force than was required.
Through fighting and training with Ren, I knew that he could see holes in defenses when I swore there were none. It was a particular talent of his and one that I envied. He noticed when a man favored a leg or when a horse was eager to dislodge a rider. If I was the brawn, then he was the brain. Together we’d been nearly unstoppable on the battlefield. It would be no different here.
Quickly, I assessed my brother’s injuries. Despite his ability to heal, Ren was bloody from the needle trees and had been bitten savagely by the Kappa. He bled profusely from wounds where chunks of flesh had been torn from his body. Though he’d tried to change tactics by switching from a man to a tiger and back, they had been destroying him. Brutally ripping him apart piece by bloody piece.
Between the Kappa and the needle trees, he stood no chance of saving himself, let alone Kelsey. One of his arms hung limply at his side, and yet he stood, ready to fight until his last breath. I was here to make sure his last breath wasn’t today. Ren never told me how close he came to death in this forest.
Regret and shame filled me. I should have been here with my brother, fighting at his side. The old me had been wallowing in hurt, facing inner demons instead of the ones that could cripple and kill. It was stubborn pride that kept me in the jungle. I had been so determined to be miserable that I blocked out everything. Because of me, Ren could have been torn apart. Kelsey could have died. I didn’t deserve the gift she’d given me—that both of them had given me—but I could make damn sure that they survived the process.
With a brush of power, I instructed the trees to focus on the Kappa and to leave Ren alone. Unlike the Kappa, the trees obeyed the Damon Amulet. As he threw the demons into the trees, I made sure they didn’t get back up. After several minutes of fighting, with no end of demons in sight, we both heard a scream.
With a mighty roar, Ren raked his claws across the bellies of the two nearest demons, spilling their black innards across the forest floor, and then dashed into the whipping branches, heedless of his hurts or the fact that his arm was barely hanging on. Growling, I switched to a tiger and kept the remaining demons at bay, ripping them apart while, at the same time, I instructed the trees to form a wall of branches behind Ren to provide a barrier.
Disgust and anger rippled through me as I tore into the deadly creatures. It felt good. It felt right. But at some point in the fight, I realized that my anger and disgust were not directed at the demons, as filthy as they were, but at myself. That the lowly, dark creature I really wanted to destroy was the man that I used to be. A cowardly, black soul that preferred slinking off into the darkness to standing up and fighting for what he wanted.
With the last few Kappa finished off, I followed Ren’s trail back to Kelsey, desperately hoping that I’d made the right decision to secure Ren’s escape rather than heading back to her myself. Trees came alive and whipped branches in my face, leaving biting little stings everywhere they landed, but this time I embraced the sting. Took it into myself. I deserved the pain, so I reveled in it. Asked for more. Still, it wasn’t enough penance.
When I found Ren again, he was in the process of eradicating the Kappa who’d been suckling at Kelsey’s neck. I cursed myself for leaving her alone. I cursed myself for not remembering that she’d been attacked. I cursed the fact that I hadn’t come on this quest, hadn’t helped. Kelsey was pale. Her limbs fell limply to Ren’s side as he lifted her. Black ooze trickled from the wound in her neck.
I did this. She was hurt because of me. Every pain that she suffered here, every discomfort, every risk, could have been nullified, or at the very least, lessened if I’d acted like a man. I felt each labored step Ren took like a dagger in my heart. I winced at the groans of pain he couldn’t hold back as he shifted Kelsey carefully in his still-healing arms.
Never again, I vowed. Never again will I allow another to suffer because of my inaction.
Ren carried Kelsey to a cave and sought wood for a fire, never straying too far from her side. I perched, invisible, on the hill nearby and forced myself to watch Kelsey’s suffering. The least I could do would be to sit through it with Ren even if he didn’t know it. My silly pranks in the jungle as he brought mangoes to Kelsey seemed childish now. I was a man playing tricks like a spoiled boy.
Even though he should have changed to a tiger to heal faster, Ren stayed in human form so he could care for Kelsey. His human body tried to heal and I winced, knowing the pain he was experiencing.
When we were injured as tigers, the wounds healed at more than five times the speed as when we were in human form. As men, a fever accompanied the healing, one that burned so hotly that a normal human would die. It felt like our veins were on fire when it happened. We still healed quickly as humans, but to endure the pain of it for an extended time was a great sacrifice on Ren’s part.