Tiger's Dream (The Tiger Saga #5)

After the water was drained away and the floor was covered with mud and debris, my old self approached the statue, holding a glow stick up to cast light in the dark temple. Kelsey touched her hand to the wall and a soft rain fell over the whole place. The goddess was revealed in all her splendor and my heart melted at her appearance. She gave me a beautiful smile. The hat she wore slipped slightly, and only I caught the slight irritation in her expression as she pushed it off her head altogether.

Other than the arms, she looked more like herself than she ever had in one of the temples. The green dress was not unlike her hunting attire. It suited her. And her preference, other than her comfortable boots, was being barefoot anyway. Even on her throne back at home, she often drew up her legs, tucking her bare feet beneath her skirts as she entertained guests.

We were all wet from the rain shower, even me, and seeing her squeezing the water from her hair, her sodden dress clinging to her curves, made my breath feel tight in my chest. Ana gave me a tiny wink and I glanced down at my own sopping clothes and raised my eyebrows. She laughed, her voice lilting and happy.

Looking down at Kelsey, she said, “Ah, Kelsey. Your offerings are accepted.” Her eyes fell on each of them and then, more pointedly, on me. She clucked her tongue. “Oh, but you are all uncomfortable. Let me help.”

She did the dry-clean thing that I remembered. And as her rainbow wrapped around my body, cleaning, drying, and dressing me in the span of a few seconds, I felt the brush of the goddess’s fingers in my hair and trailing down my bare neck. She crooked her finger, and it was all I could do not to shove the others aside and go to her myself, especially when I saw how beautiful she looked in her sparkling dress. I wanted to stroke those alabaster arms and whisper scandalous things in her ear.

Ana had a brief reunion with Fanindra and then she found Nilima’s offering of silk. I remembered how she had met with Nilima before and promised her that not only would she help Kelsey find happiness but she would help Nilima too. I was glad that Nilima and Sunil had found each other. Perhaps destiny was met in more ways than one.

Ana asked to meet Kadam next. Speaking of sacrifice, she said the things to him that both of us longed to say. He was as important to her as he was to me. I listened carefully to her words again. They held more meaning for me now than they did when I’d heard them the first time.

“If only there were more men, more fathers such as you,” she said. “I sense your great pride and joy in them. This is the greatest blessing and fulfillment a father can have: to spend your years developing and nurturing your children and then to see the glorious results—strong, noble sons who remember your lessons and who will pass them on to their own. This is what all good fathers wish for. Your name will be remembered with much respect and love.”

I made a vow along with her in that moment that I would indeed remember him and all he’d done for us. How appropriate that Kelsey had wanted to name her first son Anik after him.

Next, she called, “My ebony one, come closer.”

My attention centered on my old self. I shifted closer, narrowing my eyes and giving her a silent warning. But other than offering her hand for a kiss and giving me a saucy look, Ana was a good girl. She gave them the kamandal and the trident, explaining how they would work, and even demonstrated the weapon.

After that she wanted to speak to Kelsey alone. When everyone else left, she asked, “Why are you still so sad, dear one? Did I not keep my promise to watch over your tiger?”

“You did. He’s back and safe, but he doesn’t remember me. He’s blocked me out, and he says we aren’t meant to be together.”

Ana considered what to say and glanced at me. Finally, she said, “What is meant to be is meant to be. All things in this universe are known, and yet mortals must still seek to discover their own purpose, their own destiny, and they must make choices that take them on a path of their own choosing. Yes. Your white tiger has made the decision to remove you from his memory.”

“But why?”

“Because he loves you.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Things often don’t when you have your nose pressed against them. Take a step back and try to see the whole picture.” Invisible to Kells, I walked up the dais and took hold of one of Ana’s hands. She squeezed it gently.

“Much sacrifice has been made on your behalf,” Ana continued. “Many maidens come to this shrine seeking my blessing. They wish for a virtuous husband, and they want to have a good life. Is that what you seek also, Kelsey? Do you wish for an honest, noble young man to be your life’s companion?” Ana’s eyes flitted to mine briefly. Was that what Ana was looking for too?

“I . . . I haven’t really been thinking of marriage, to be honest with you. But yes, I would like my life’s companion to be honest and noble and my friend.”

Ana twitched at that statement.

“I want to love him without regrets,” Kelsey finished.

Sighing softly, Ana counseled, “To have regret is to be disappointed with yourself and your choices. Those who are wise see their lives like stepping stones across a great river. Everyone misses a stone from time to time. No one can cross the river without getting wet. Success is measured by your arrival on the other side, not on how muddy your shoes are. Regrets are felt by those who do not understand life’s purpose. They become so disillusioned that they stand still in the river and do not take the next leap.”

Kelsey didn’t notice how Ana swallowed. I knew the advice she was giving Kelsey was something she’d been thinking of herself. You can leap too, I thought to her. I’ll be here to catch you.

“Do not fear,” Ana added, running a hand down Kelsey’s hair. I’d never seen her act so warm and tender with Kelsey before. Anamika was changing in a way I didn’t think she was capable of. “He will be your friend, your mate in every way. And you will love him more fiercely than you have loved before. You will love him as much as he loves you. You will be happy,” Ana said fiercely and gripped my hand with an equally passionate determination. Kelsey didn’t notice how white Ana’s fingers were where they clenched the arms of the throne.

“But which brother is it?” Kelsey asked.

Ana smiled secretively and said, “I will also consider your sister Nilima. A woman of such devotion needs love too, I should think. Take this.” She handed Kelsey a lei of lotus flowers. “It has no special power except that the blooms will not fade, but it will serve a purpose on your voyage.”

Frowning, I wondered how Ana knew about the flowers. I hadn’t told her anything about the lotus flowers or the mermaid but she seemed to already know. Could she see into the future? Had Kadam told her? Or maybe it was a simple gift. The flowers that had hung around the statue stayed with her. I peered at the garland and noticed for the first time how they’d brightened and become revitalized just by touching her skin. It wasn’t surprising. It was how I felt when I touched her too.

“I want you to learn the lesson of the lotus,” she said to Kelsey. Ana loved all flowers, and the lotus was no exception. That she knew how they grew didn’t surprise me.

“This flower springs forth from muddy waters,” she said. “It raises its delicate petals to the sun and perfumes the world while, at the same time, its roots cling to the elemental muck, the very essence of the mortal experience. Without that soil, the flower would wither and die. Dig down and grow strong roots, my daughter, for you will stretch forth, break out of the waters, and find peace on the calm surface at last. You will discover that if you hadn’t stretched, you would have drowned in the deep, never to blossom or share your gifts with others.”

Unseen to Kelsey, I bent down and touched my lips to Ana’s forehead. An arm wrapped around my waist and another one stroked my hair.

“It’s time to leave me, precious one,” she said to Kelsey. “Take Fanindra. When you get to the City of the Seven Pagodas, seek out the Shore Temple. A woman waits there for you. She will give you guidance on your voyage.”