Lokesh had been able to use the amulet to resuscitate the dead. He reanimated them but they weren’t living, not exactly. What Ana had done with desiccated bones had been different. Pacing back and forth, I thought. Ana, I sent a mental summons. I need you. When she didn’t appear within the span of a few seconds, I took it as a sign she either hadn’t heard me or didn’t want to be bothered.
Okay, I thought. I can do this. Carefully, concentrating on what I’d seen the goddess do, I clasped both of my hands around the amulet and said, “Damonasya Rakshasasya Mani-Bharatsysa Pita-Rajaramaasya Putra.” The amulet in my hands began to glow. I remembered that every time I pulled someone back from the brink, the amulet had demanded a price from me. To save Ren’s life before, I’d had to give up part of my own. To rescue Ana, I’d forever linked myself to a tiger. What price would it exact now to save Kadam?
Flames licked my skin and sweat poured down my chest and back. My arms shook and I fell to my knees. Power left my body and poured into the amulet. It was like a part of me died in that moment, but at the same time, a small bubble of light lifted up and then shot toward the casket. It pierced the flesh and lit Kadam’s struggling form inside.
He screamed but the sound didn’t penetrate the body. Light consumed him and then his spirit form disintegrated. If the pattern followed what happened with Ana, Kadam would have ended up back home. When I regained my breath, I staggered to my feet and looked inside the box. The Kadam I knew was gone. All that was left was the inanimate corpse of the man I considered a second father.
Gently, I repositioned his hands, putting the flower on top. His lips parted as the air I’d filled his lungs with slowly dissipated. Using the amulet, I remade the lid and placed it back on top of the casket. Then I phased myself invisible and restarted time.
Wearily, I trudged back to the ruins of my parents’ house and sank down on the steps. I didn’t move at all, even when my old self came down the path with Kelsey and offered her a tour. Voices carried from inside the house and I could make out the conversation clearly. Ren walked up the path after filling in the grave and washed his face. As he shook the water from his hands, he stared up at the house, listening. That he could hear them as well as I was evident on his face.
“Do you love him, Kells?” my old self asked.
“Yes.”
“Do you love me?”
She waited a heartbeat before answering. “Yes.”
I could almost hear the desperation in my voice. “You’re sure you want to choose me?”
Ren sucked in a breath, the pain clear in his expression. Both of us strained to hear her answer though I already knew what it would be.
“Yes,” Kelsey said softly.
Ren turned away, his shoulders slumped. He picked up a rock and slammed it into the trunk of the nearest tree. It cracked and the rock sunk in flush with the trunk as we heard Kelsey say they’d have to leave Ren. It would be too painful otherwise.
How could I not hear the catch in her voice as she talked about leaving him? I remember being delirious with happiness just at hearing her validate my deepest wishes. Never once had I considered the cost of a future without my brother or what it would have done to her to leave him behind.
Would I have even been happy leaving India? Leaving everything? At the time, I thought I would be. That love was all I needed. Now, I knew differently. I did need love. But I needed it with the right person. With one who loved me wholly. Someone who would never look back. And that someone deserved the same from me.
“I’d like to come back here someday,” I heard Kelsey say. “I want to plant some flowers at Mr. Kadam’s grave and trim back the jungle. Maybe we could stay here sometimes,” she continued.
I’d taken that as a sign that we’d set up house in the jungle. Kelsey had never wanted that. She’d visit, sure. But live there? I stood and walked across the grass, touching the rock embedded in the tree—a sign of Ren’s sorrow.
There was only one person I could picture living with me in the jungle. Kelsey was right that this place felt like home. It was important to my family. It always would be.
Turning around, I waited until everyone headed back to the plane, and when I heard the thrum of the engine, I lifted my hands and channeled the power of the amulet. Closing my eyes, I imagined what the home had looked like back when my parents lived there. Trees and plants shifted. Some grew. Others shrank. The screech of monkeys told me I was disturbing their home but I didn’t care. Flowers and shade trees grew in my mother’s garden. The broken pieces of wood and the fallen walkways mended themselves before my eyes.
When it was done, a lovely home stood where the ruins were just a moment before. The plane carrying my family flew overhead, the light glinting off the windows. If they’d looked down just then, they would have seen a lush garden had grown in the place they had just been, but I knew they were all too emotionally overwrought to notice.
A hand touched my shoulder. I spun in alarm and then laughed when I recognized my mentor. His elongated face was lined with weariness but his color was fair.
“Thank you for saving me,” he said.
He seemed more himself than he did before.
“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t relieved to see you. What happened back there?”
“Do you recall when I said to use caution around your past self?”
I nodded. “It’s why I had to save Ana.”
“Yes, well, in this case, the version of me you just met was the one who disappeared from the Deschen during the attack. I had just discovered I had the ability to travel in time and was attempting to navigate its pathways. I’d only recently learned of my imminent demise, and to say it shocked me was an understatement. Even though I witnessed it with my own eyes, I had a difficult time accepting that I wasn’t trapped in a dream. Thinking I’d shake myself awake, I touched my own hand in the casket and, well, you saw the result.”
“What about Nilima? Wasn’t she with you?”
“I never told you or her that she was lost to me for a time. It took quite an effort and what amounted to several years to locate her, then even longer for her to knit back together.”
“Knit together?” I frowned. “That doesn’t sound fun.”
“Trust me when I say it wasn’t.”
“What happened after you left your body?” I asked.
“Something similar to what happened to Nilima. Do you remember the pull you feel in your gut when you travel in time?”
“Yes.”
“Imagine its effect on mere mortals. Because you, Ana, Kelsey, and Ren were, and are, connected to the power of the amulet, it protects you from the effects. As for the rest of us…let’s just say we’ve been remade. Your gift literally ripped me apart into atoms and it took quite a while to complete the puzzle. Suffice it to say, I am not the same man I used to be.”
“And Nilima?” I asked.
“She is none the worse for it as far as I can tell. Nilima was lost—scattered to the four winds as it were—but I was able to use my rather unenviable experience to make the process easier for her. I had to use a portion of your gift to save her, but it was worth it in the end.”
“I…I’m sorry. I should have done more.”
He shook his head. “You did too much as it was. You sacrificed for me, much as you did for Ren. Please accept my deepest regrets for your loss.”
“My loss?” I said.
“Ah. You don’t yet understand.”
“What did I lose?”
He sighed. “I’m afraid you’ve given up your connection to the goddess.”
“My connection to…to Ana?” I gaped. “How is that possible? I’m her tiger! How will we be able to do our work without our bond?”
“The Damon Amulet still connects you. Ana can still draw upon its power. What I speak of is your, um, personal connection. Before, your bond functioned like a triangle. Ana could draw power from you and you from her, but now the only option for both of you is to draw from the amulet. It’s more…limiting.”
“Will we still be able to mindspeak?” I asked.
“I don’t know. Perhaps through the amulet.”
“Can I fix it?” I asked, already guessing what his answer would be.
Kadam gave me a long look. “In this case, yes. It is possible to link yourself to Ana again. But if you choose to do this, the bond will be permanent.”