“It looks like you’re a sleeping with your ex-boyfriend again,” he said, once he was satisfied that my room was empty. “For fuck’s sake, Nora, the guy’s been back in town for five minutes and you’re already sneaking around with him.”
“I know it looks bad and I probably deserve that but you know me better than that.” I said, trying to keep my voice calm. He was about two seconds from completely flying off the handle and the last thing I wanted was a hole in the drywall. “He gave me this sweatshirt the other night when I was at his house. And, there was no sneaking around.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me that you went to his house?”
“I don’t know,” I answered, feeling guilty by omission. Beau was right. I probably should have told him that I’d been talking to Reid. I needed to be honest with him and myself. “I’m just trying to figure out all of these feelings I’ve been having. I’m confused. I know it’s a weak excuse, but it’s the best I can do right now.”
“Did you sleep with him?”
“No. I wouldn’t do that.” I might have last night, but luckily Reid was enough of a gentleman to stop me from doing something I might regret. “We were just talking. I swear.”
“Do you want to?” He asked. I took a beat too long to think about how to answer the question without completely breaking Beau’s heart. “Answer the question, Nora.”
“I don’t know!” I tossed my hands up. “Okay? I don’t know.”
“Fuck,” he said, shaking his head. “I cannot believe that you would just throw this away for him.”
“Am I really throwing anything away? Why are we even together, Beau? Neither of us seems to be ready to move to the next step. We’re both content with this boring life where we meet at the same damn diner for lunch every day. We’re stuck in a rut and you know it.” Honestly, I wondered if our relationship had just been a rut to begin with.
“This is ridiculous,” he huffed. “We were doing just fine until he showed back up.”
“I don’t want just fine, Beau.” Hearing the words come out of my mouth, finally saying out loud what I knew deep down all along was liberating. “I want more. Excitement. Possibility. I want the unknown.”
“Well, good fucking luck,” he said, brushing past me, eager to get out the door. “Don’t come crawling back to me when he breaks your heart again.”
Once he was out the door and pulling away in his truck, I let myself take a nice, slow deep breath. I’d anticipated feeling sad when and if Beau and I ever broke up, but instead it felt freeing. Like the weight I’d been carrying by not being honest with him the second I started to doubt our relationship was gone.
Clap, Clap, Clap.
“Are you seriously slow clapping me right now?” I asked, knowing that my sister had finally emerged from her bedroom.
“Don’t ruin the moment,” she whispered adding to the dramatics as she entered the living room. I gave her a few more claps before I turned to roll my eye at her. “You feel better, don’t you? Finally free of Beau. I know I feel better.” She laughed, pulling me into a hug.
“Thanks for answering the door by the way. Maybe I could have prepared myself a little better.”
“No way.” She laughed. “I saw Beau’s truck out the window and decided it was best if I stayed in my room. So, do you feel better?”
“I do. I feel bad for hurting him, but better because I don’t have to worry about leading him on anymore or doing something I’d regret. Like cheat on him.”
“Lucky for you, Reid wouldn’t let that happen,” she said, grabbing my hand and leading me over to the sofa. “He’s a good guy.”
“Omigod,” I said into a throw pillow I’d pulled on to my lap. “I acted like such an idiot last night. He’s probably never going to speak to me again. I threw myself at him. Asked him to be my—”
“Dirty little secret.”